Just One Kiss
by foggybythebay
Summary: One kiss, a mangled hand, a wolf charm, a tent, and an unexpected new friend changes Bella's future forever.
1. Chapter 1 The Unthinkable

**Chapter 1: The Unthinkable**

"Irritated."

He chuckles and clarifies, "I meant your hand."

I smile at Edward. "It's OK, and if it's not, Carlisle will fix it."

But, as much as I do try to push away the memory, the unrelenting ache in my hand keeps reminding me of my first brush with the unexpected heat that met my lips when Jacob...

My mind stutters. I will NOT think of it.

"_You're going to think about it tonight."_

Jacob, ugh. Why? Why did he have to kiss me? Of all the stupid, egotistical, male things to do. Stupid, 16-year-old boy in a man's body. Really gorgeous man's body, my lascivious thoughts unconsciously amend. Ugh! I am momentarily disgusted with my cradle-robbing self.

That stupid Jake Black! Idiot!

"_You kissed me back."_

Breaking out of the unwanted memory at hearing those words, ones I'd vehemently denied at the time, I listen to Edward's even breathing beside me instead. Outwardly, he appears as cool and collected ever, but I know he's thinking murderous thoughts towards my... _my_ _friend_? I flex my fingers and try re-clenching them into a fist, carefully placing the question mark at the end of my last curious thought.

I move away from playing with the idea of Jake and me having more, forcing myself back to the reality of my crushed hand. I smile to myself as I survey the damage. It is deeply satisfying to me that I hit Jake, but definitely not so satisfying knowing that he hadn't felt it. Well, maybe he did a little, I fool myself, a smirk forming. He did cry out, after all.

How dare he do this?! How dare he throw me into a whirlwind of emotion, just when Edward's finally come back for me? How dare he try to change my mind! As if it was just my stubborn, mule-headed brain that is binding me to the boy next to me? As if....

"Oh!"

Edward shoots me a curious glance, mistaking my unintentional outburst as a cry of pain. I quietly send a thank you out to whatever god or twist of fate that makes my mind impervious to Edward's special talent. Especially, tonight. He reaches for my hand and his cool touch eases some of the hurt and swelling there. Renee used to say there's nothing like some ice to cure a boo-boo, I muse.

So, that's it, huh? One kiss is all it takes and the perfectly formed future that I treasure in my head swirls into a twisted knot of uncertainty that even Alice can't decipher it? An unexpected swell of warmth comes from somewhere within me as my thoughts return to the initial idea that prompted my small epiphany.

Can it really be that my amazingly stubborn self just can't fathom a place beyond Edward's cool embrace? Am I that unimaginative? Have I ever entertained the idea of Jacob Black before that fateful call? Before Italy?

Yes, I have.

Jake brutally reminded me of it tonight.

"_He's not your whole life either, not anymore."_

If I was truly honest with myself, I'd admit that it did feel good to be overwhelmed with the warmth Jacob offered. Such a juxtaposition to the first dazzling wonder of Edward's now familiar, comforting, and cool touch. My internal interrogation continues relentlessly. And, what about my hatred of the cold? Hadn't I cursed the drizzly darkness and longed for the brilliant sun when I first set foot in Forks? Interesting how I haven't thought of these things in a long, long while.

Jacob. My personal sun. That's what I'd thought of him.

Am I going to eclipse the goodness of him now? That goodness that reaches out to my broken heart. Do I want to overshadow the boy who helped heal me? Am I willing to darken his wholehearted love with the one who shattered mine? Am I going to wager this precarious and precious wholeness that Jake helped me rebuild? Can I so callously swipe away the joy, peace and freedom I revel in with Jake, to chase an unknown, scary, and shadowed future with Edward?

Damn that Jake!

He would rather see me dead than allow me to be what I've always thought inevitable. He wants me to be alive, I reason with myself. He wants to keep hearing my heart beat. Is that so terrible of him?

My best friend is making me question all the things I hold sacred and dear. I can just hear his snarky response now, "But that's what friends are for, Bells, friends don't let friends live out their lives drunk on leech love!"

I purposely purse my lips to stop the smile from forming.

Am I _addicted_ to Edward? Can I really entertain the thought of Jake as more than my best friend? Didn't he bring with him some relief from this never ending cold, wet climate that allows Edward's to exist in my world? Do I want a sunny happily ever after? Do I want what I have with Edward to end? Can I even end it now? What about Victoria? The Volturi? Alice? The Cullens? Edward?

_Ahhh, yes... Edward..._

To be truly honest with myself is to admit that it did take some willpower to keep myself from responding to Jake's amorous attempt to convince me of another path. I must've somehow viscerally sensed he would be the guide leading me out of darkness and into the light. Perhaps that's why I so vehemently pushed him away. I'd shut my mind to that bright spark.

It had been easier to fill myself with shock and anger toward Jake. After all, he threatened to bash and splinter my long held, fantastic dreams with his clumsy, wolfish efforts to make me face an alternate reality. A human, well, _sort of_ human, one. I'd ruthlessly shut down my physical response to his kiss even while my heart beat in time with his.

I absently rub at the center of my chest. I feel a rough, quick staccato against my palm. I recognize the beat. It is the very one that responded to Jake's hot lips on mine and the touch of his tongue urging mine to open for him.

"What are you thinking?" Edward's quiet question interrupts my mutinous thoughts. "Bella?"

"Oh! I'm just so angry at Jacob!" I cry wretchedly, "Why can't he just..." my voice drifts as my thoughts trail away. Edward picks up what he believes to be my train of thought.

"Go away? I can make him do that," Edward replies, jubilant with the idea, "Or do you want me to just maim the mongrel? It wouldn't be so hard to do tonight." He hisses the words through his perfectly deadly, clenched teeth, his hands grip the steering wheel.

"NO!" I just about scream at him, not realizing the full strength of emotion I hold behind that one word. Edward flinches back slightly, but remains silent beside me, casting me a purposely slow sidelong glance. The silence is unbearable and then suddenly, from an unlikely source, I hear out loud the secret held within my heart, a secret that I can't yet bear to hear voiced.

"You love him." The quiet whoosh of words, barely audible, hangs in the air, not so much a question as a sudden realization.

"Yes," I reply, "but..."

But what, Bella? I chide myself. For some reason unbeknownst to me I have trouble saying the words that always came so easily in the past. Before Jake's kiss.

I'd have said, not as much as I love you.

C'mon, Bella, say it, I prompt myself. Say, not as much as I love you. I thought the words so often before and because I simply will them to form, I finally hear myself whisper the words Edward seems so suddenly eager to hear, the words my mind so desperately wants my lips to utter.

"But not as much as I love you, Edward."

I close my eyes then, and succumb to the bone-deep tiredness that threatens to drown me as I fight this unwelcome swirl of emotion. Jacob Black. Ugh. How dare he do this to me...

"_When he thinks you're asleep, you'll be thinking about your options"_

My last conscious thought.

Damn, that Jacob Black!


	2. Chapter 2 Nightmare

**Chapter 2  
Nightmare

* * *

**

"_When he thinks you're asleep, you'll be thinking about your options."_

I awaken to the last thought that carried me into sleep. It was a longer than usual ride, considering how fast Edward drives, and how out of it I was. Carlisle goes right to work as soon as we get there. Turns out that even with a fracture, I can get away with just wearing a brace.

I stare at Edward's concerned face while he watches Carlisle fix my hand. There is nothing in this world that I want more than him. Right? Will that, _can _that, change?

Is there a human experience that I am _not_ willing to give up? Is there a human experience that I, a mere teenager, can't even begin to imagine I'd miss?

***

Edward drives me back home. Charlie is still up and the house light is still on. He grunts a greeting at Edward who waves with a slight smile toward Charlie's chair.

"I'll be up in three," Edward whispers softly so only I can hear. I call goodnight to Charlie, his cue to turn off the t.v., light, and make movements to turn in himself.

"Sleep tight, Bella," he calls after me.

I beat Charlie to the staircase and climb the steps toward the bathroom to do my human thing. Thanks to having opened my window before my visit with Jake, I knew he'd be waiting for me in my room when I was done. For the first time since his return, I'm not sure if I want him to stay beside me as I sleep. I finish pulling on my tank top and head toward my room. There he sat. Perfect with that handsome, crooked smile. His eyes trail me as I enter the room and he follows my every movement. My heart does a little flip. He still loves me. He still wants me. He pats the quilt beside him, beckoning me closer.

"You have a big day tomorrow," Edward smiles. "You should get some sleep."

Oh, yeah, graduation, I think. The jubilation I usually feel at the thought of the date is replaced by something else that I can't quite place. Trepidation? Maybe it's because of that huge graduation bash Alice is planning. What if Jake chooses to take me up on my earlier invitation to the party? What will I do then?

I nod, ducking my head, avoiding Edward's penetrating gaze. I still curl up next to him, under the covers as always. I slowly turn to face him. "It's only a matter of time now, Edward. Then you and I can be together, forever."

He stares at me unblinking. "You should sleep on it, Bella." He carefully places a possessive arm around my waist. This time, I think, I might just have to agree with him. I close my eyes to surrender to the oblivion of sleep, but not before I catch the surprise in his eyes.

I didn't fight his words this time.

***

Hot.

No.

Cold.

Where am I? I cast a wary glance at the darkening sky. A faint melody tickles the back of my senses. I clutch the earth beneath my palms, fresh scent. Pine needles. I catch some movement in my peripheral vision. Russet fur to my left. I smile.

Jake.

We make eye-contact as he patiently paces back and forth some distance away, keeping watch. Not scary. No. He smiles in his wolf-y way, warming me to my depths. I turn my attention back to my surroundings. I know this place. Not a happy place. But safe, safe with my wolf nearby. This place. So sad. So desperate. Ahhh, yes. Sam found me here after Edward's fateful words. The memory struck, slashing at me.

Pain.

It steals my breath away. An unfamiliar keening cry erupts from me, straight from my soul. The pain sears me, tearing a gaping hole in my heart. Oh! Suddenly cloying coldness grips at me. Trapped! Alone. Alone with the burn that rips through me. Too much. Surely I will be rewarded with the sweet surrender of death.

Then, he is here.

No. Not Edward.

Jake.

His beautiful bright light reaches out to me. A smile snakes it's way across my face as I see that he is wearing his special smile and ...well... err... nothing else but _that_ smile. _My Jake._

He is breathtaking.

The cold that surrounded me leaves as suddenly as it had come. I reach out to him, my personal sun.

"Breathe, Bella."

Wrong voice.

My fingertips hit Jake's shoulder, my touch registers cold, not hot.

Not right.

"Breathe, Bella."

Again. Wrong voice.

I sigh, and despite the confusion I follow the quiet order. A slightly sweet, familiar scent greets me. I gulp the air in surprise and open my eyes to find myself grasping the boy I thought I'd lost forever, shocked to be clutching at the wisps of my dream, wishing for the boy my heart yearns for, the very one my mind tells me I have no right to claim.

"Bella." My name holds a question.

"A nightmare, Edward. Not real," I reply as casually as I can muster, hiding my growing concern toward my mutinous subconscious. I can't meet my boyfriend's golden gaze.

So, I muse, I don't need Alice to predict my future after all. I'd done it myself when, only hours before, I'd sarcastically, hurled my prophecy as an insult aimed at Jake.

"_If I think about you tonight,"_ I'd shouted angrily,_ "it will be because I'm having a nightmare."_

Some nightmare, alright.

Jake had been naked, for goodness sake, and my subconscious had been...err...generous.

Heat flames up my neck and settles on my cheeks as I remember. I shut my eyes trying to erase the vision. Blasted automatic, human, bodily response!

I quickly regain my composure and I move my gaze from my hand on Edward's shoulder, up to his usually stoic face. His lips are strained, cutting a straight line across his handsome, deathly pale face. He looks, pained. Could he know?

Oh, no.

I must've said something while I dreamt. Why do I have to be a sleep talker?

"Love you," I breathe, smoothing the slight furrow between his eyebrows with my good thumb.

His placid demeanor returns. Mollified, Edward pulls the blanket around me tighter. His head bends toward me for a kiss to seal my spoken promise. I reach forward, leading with my lips. We touch and I wait. I wait for the rush, the euphoria that always accompanies this.

Edward's kiss.

I wait, desperate for the onslaught of passion. My body seems a detached observer. I hold myself closer to him, willing the old feelings to envelop me. Instead I note the solidity of his lips. Perfect form. Cold. And for the first time not confident. Searching.

I search too.

The dazzling, glittery escape that I expect from his intimate touch is nowhere.

Instead, I find in its place a persistent glow, like the morning sun peeking around a shaded glass into a darkened bedroom.

The memory of a very different kiss slowly steals through me. It illuminates the darkest corners of my very being.

Like someone safely ensconced in the warmth of a comforter, feeling safe and secure within a heavenly dream, I fight its silent call to awaken to the light of a new day.


	3. Chapter 3 A Token

**Chapter 3**

**A Token**

I walk across the stage, fully aware of him in the audience. Jake, a full head taller than everyone else, sits with Charlie and Billy. His loud whoop still rings in my ears as I nod my thanks to the principal, and hold my diploma for the obligatory smile-for-the-camera Kodak moment.

He came. At first sight of him, my heart sings. Just as quickly, I smother its delighted melody. I turn to the comfort of my darker thoughts, far better than the unfamiliar pounding in my chest. My mind, eager to contemplate anything else, skips to the unwanted party tonight. But the Jake of my mind is just as persistent as the one sitting next to my father.

Why am I feeling these unwanted things toward Jake, of all people? Why, especially now since we've postponed my switch? We all decided I couldn't make the change tonight as originally planned since it was too dangerous with Victoria's scheming. How I hate her. Now I have to face a fate even worse than being a vampire newbie, my graduation party at Edward's house. It's ridiculous! I don't even know, much less _like_, half of the people who are invited.

Wrapped in my thoughts, I belatedly realize that I forgot to throw my graduation cap in the air. I feel Jake's concern all the way across the auditorium. I look up to meet his scrutiny. Holding eye contact with him, I force my mouth toward a smile, shrug, and give the mortarboard a half-hearted toss. This seems to placate him and his features calm.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

A few hours later, Charlie leaves me in the Cullen driveway and I reluctantly make my way inside. Edward finds me. He pulls me into his arms at once and kisses me. This kiss frightenes me. There is too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crush mine - like he's afraid we only have so much time left to us.

I can't let myself think about that, so I pull away from him.

"Let's get this stupid party over with," I mumble without meeting his eyes.

I order myself to focus my attention around the Cullen compound. Alice has gone all out and it is perfect. Too perfect. The party setting comes complete with twinkling lights and music coming from a somewhat locally famous garage band. It's just like the setting of a house party in one of those teen dream movies where the girl playing the Cinderella role finally captures the heart of her teen heartthrob of a prince. Already the set is staged with vaguely familiar faces from school, enjoying the novelty of being in the infamous Cullen residence.

Yeah, and who's your prince tonight, Bella? I wonder wryly, raising a glass at Edward who leans against the staircase across the sea of dancers. Lazily, he watches me with a bemused tilt to his mouth. I am standing next to Alice, Angela, and Ben, trying to concentrate on their conversation and failing miserably. The party is in full swing and I figure I am going to be as relaxed as I will ever get tonight. A gasp from Angela, however, interrupts my reverie and has me swinging my gaze up toward the front door.

"Who invited the werewolf?" Alice gripes at me.

I scowl, "Guilty."

"You invited him, you fix it." She says tightly, tossing an, I'm-gonna-get-even-with-you-so-be-prepared-to-go-to-the-mall kind of look at me. As if an afterthought, she adds, "I have to find Carlisle. Something's... come up."

I nervously watch her move away, noticing, too, Edward disappear into the shadows under the stairs.

"Hey, Bella!"

I hear Jacob's call, adding my name and a deep timbre to the music that is somehow pleasant to my ear. I see that he has Quil and Embry at his side. Just great, three teenage werewolves in a vampires den. Seeing them all there, I suddenly realize what a bad idea it had been to invite Jake into his mortal enemies' house. I chastise myself for my selfishness. What other harm will I bring him with my thoughtlessness?

Jake is waving. I wave back. The expression on my face is meant to clearly indicate that I meant it as a wave goodbye. Pushing my way through the crowd, away from the boys, I come to accept that I am literally running from a future my own rebellious heart is all too eager to embrace.

I turn toward the stairs. Jake's swift movements block further escape. He is already unexpectedly at my side. He places a large, warm hand at my waist, tugging me toward the shadow by the kitchen. I scold myself to move away, but my legs refuse to obey. I know I'll follow him wherever he leads. But there is no way in this lifetime I am ever going to give up that last bit of information. I try to summon up any remaining anger I have toward him. This is the only way I know how to protect both his heart and mine.

"What was _that_, Bells?" He growls.

"Did you forget that I punched you?" I glower back. "You're not welcome here."

My words hold much more animosity than I actually feel. I guess you can say they have more bark than bite. I am mightily pleased with my performance. I really need him to think I hate him. I hope this verbal shove is enough to get him out the door and out of harm's way. This way is be so much easier than telling him the _real_ reason why I want him gone.

The tension in him increases. He seems even more intent on saying whatever he has to say. Stupid, stubborn, too handsome for his own good, werewolf! He is so exasperating!

"I'm sorry you hurt yourself with my face," he groans sorrowfully, sparing a glance at my braced hand.

"That's NOT an apology, Jake! You hurt me," _in more ways than you know_, I add silently, scowling up at him. My index finger pokes at his chest with my last three words. He catches my eye and I quickly look away. My hand drops as his comes up, hesitatingly, softly brushing an errant tendril from my face. Meeting no resistance, he brushes my temple with his finger tips. Cupping my jaw with his warm palm, Jake gently draws my gaze back to his.

"I'm really sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have kissed you that way," his deep voice full of sincerity and despair. "I shouldn't have deluded myself...that you'd want me the same way as I want you."

At his words, my reasons for fighting him any further take flight. I flinch, knowing full well exactly _who_ had been deluding themselves that night. He felt my unintended motion beneath his fingers. Misinterpreting, he drops his hand away in dismay.

"Don't be like that, Bells," he whispers softly. Then, suddenly as if remembering something quite lovely, a smile touches his lips, "Hey, I risked life and limb to come and bring you a graduation present."

I laugh a little at his joke, but steel myself again to make my voice sound like a reprimand. "You know I hate presents, Jake. Just return it."

I don't want this new feeling I have growing inside for him. I already _know_ what I want! This is NOT part of the plan!

Jake deserves so much more than what I have to offer, I remind myself. I am broken. He doesn't deserve me with the deep fissures in my heart that I believe can only be filled by Edward. He doesn't need me and the insanity inside that _wants_ to become a vampire.

I need Jake to go.

The clear reasons for me making the switch, ones I held in a death grip through Edward's absence, and now clutch to with his return, blur whenever Jacob is near. I resent Jake for this. I need this fantastic reality Edward's world offers. In it, I will be strong, not weak. I want an eternity with someone who loves me.

I just need Jake to go away... to stop... to stop making my heart beat...

for him.

"Oh, good, you're calling me Jake again. I can get on with my life now," he sighs with exaggerated relief. His laughing eyes meet my sombre ones and all at once, his sarcastic teasing is gone.

"I can't return it,'' he says, gaze unfaltering. "And if _you_ do, it would.. it would break my heart," he barely breathes the last few words.

I blink.

Then, he holds up a small pouch, dangling within inches of my face. His playful tone returns.

"I think you won't hate this one. I made it myself." He touches the colorful pouch to my nose. I catch a good whiff of his wolf-y fresh forest scent as the fabric brushes against me a second time. He foresees how I'll raise my hand to swat it away. As I do, he drops his hold on the pouch strings. I feel the rough weave as I catch it to keep it from falling.

"A pouch!" I exclaim, feigning ecstasy as I hold the gift in the palm of my good hand. "Wow, it's so... pretty! I didn't know you could... um... knit?"

"It's NOT the pouch, Bella," his quiet growl of frustration emanates sexily from his chest, "I'm not sitting around in my spare time weaving macrame for you! Open it. Your gift is inside."

I pull at the opening, not knowing what to expect. It can't be a car or a newly refurbished motorcycle, I think humorlessly. I shoot him a suspicious look. He looks... _expectant_.

I reach in and touch something cool, delicate, and smooth. A chain bracelet, my mind predicts as I trace my fingertip against the gift before taking hold and pulling it up out of hiding.

"I didn't make the bracelet," he admits, "just the charm."

I peer at the tiny figurine that I hold between my fingers - a miniature wolf, utterly realistic, carved of the same red-brown wood that perfectly matched the color of his skin.

"It's beautiful," I whisper wondrously, "You _made_ this?"

What else can Jacob do that I've failed to notice? And why haven't I been paying attention?

Ignoring my question he answers it with his own, "Do you really like it?"

I _can't_ make myself refuse his gift. With all the obvious care he'd put into making this little wolf, I just can't endure parting with it. My heart makes up my mind for me. I will allow myself to keep and cherish this very special token from him.

"Yes, It's unbelievable, Jake," I breathe. "Will you put it on for me?"

I hold out my wrist and he fastens the clasp much faster than I think is possible with such big hands. I raise my wrist, bringing the charm up to my line of sight. I smile with pleasure as the little wolf just about glows under the twinkle of lights.

Then he smiles - that happy, unencumbered smile that I love to see him wear. But it leaves his face all too quickly as a realization dawns on him. He scans the room.

"Hey, where are your bloodsucker friends? Aren't they always watching you?"

"I..." my eyes shifts uncomfortably. I don't want him involved. I know instinctively why. If he knew what was going on, he'd be on the front line fighting for me and there wouldn't be any stopping him. I can't let him know.

"Don't even try lying, Bells, you totally suck at it."

Before I can come up with something believable to explain Alice and Edward's disappearance, all of the Cullens are near. I watch Jacob's whole body tighten with stress. His nose wrinkles at the sugary onslaught of condensed smell of vampire.

Quil and Embry clearly upset by the Cullens' proximity to Jake also appear out of nowhere and flank him. My fingers itch to reach out and calm Jake's unease. I am all too aware, however, of a certain watchfulness from the boy standing slightly outside of the family circle. So, I touch my new charm instead. Jake notices and he quickly resumes a wary, but more relaxed stance. I didn't see that Edward, too, caught sight of my slight movement. A quick tightening of his jaw would have given him away if I'd only thought to look.

Alice tried to ignore the wolves as she explained the situation. Victoria and her newborn vampire army would be descending on Forks to seek revenge by killing me. At Victoria's name, Jake's head whips up, his hair standing nearly on end, as though finally catching the scent of his elusive prey. He forces himself into the conversation. Almost before I know it, an unlikely pairing forms. It is an alliance I never thought would ever be made.


	4. Chapter 4 A Hissy Fit & Chocolate

**Ch. 4  
A Hissy Fit & Chocolate**

**

* * *

**

I am uncomfortable and aghast at how readily the Cullens and the werewolves join forces against Victoria, for me. What good is being mortal enemies when they all too eagerly join hands and seem nearly ready to burst into the first stanza of _Kumbayah?_

And all for my sake? Seriously, in the scope of things, I am not all that important. That's not me putting myself down, it's just me putting it all into perspective.

But if it's going to be all about me anyway, I do have a right to be egotistical, even if it is just for a minute in the privacy of my own room.

My worlds are colliding, just as they are threatening to rip apart.

This is so incredibly stupid!

Jake and Edward's unspoken agreement to keep me safe and their asinine plan to keep me away from the clearing pisses me off to no end.

I HATE CAMPING! I had shouted at them. Add to it their belief that only they can protect me, well, I threw a major hissy fit about either one of them being in this fight. I stalked off without so much as a backwards glance. Both of them were just stupid boys.

And right now, I've decided to just be a stupid girl. No one sees me do it, though. It's hardly exciting, anyway, since all my temper tantrum involves is hurling what little clothes Victoria's spawn left me at the walls of my room.

No, not thrilling, but oddly calming.

The truth frustrates me. I know I'd be helpless without either Edward or Jake. I know both are well-equipped to fight this month's monsters. But how can I go on living if it turns out one, or both, isn't strong enough to withstand Victoria's frenzied attack?

Wearily, I think of just hopping a plane to join Renee in Florida. Yeah, right, as if! I snort at the thought of such a selfish, cowardly, but admittedly practical escape. Maybe if I can convince half of Forks and La Push to join me, then I'd have a working plan.

Somehow, despite their ever closer proximity to one another, I manage to keep up the artifice of my relationship with Edward. It seems I am convincing enough that neither of the boys really knows how my feelings are changing for Jake. Maybe it is because I'm not examining them very closely myself.

Surely, I am still in love with Edward. I nearly died, twice, to keep him. But this other love, this new, frail thing growing inside me is so real that it distresses me to bring it out into the light. I know I am in love with Jake, too. I just refuse to consider it. I simply don't want it to be.

I already know of love in the human world. It isn't enough for me. I need something more _permanent_.

Love dies.

I have undeniable proof that it is meant to perish. Look at my mom and dad. Look at Jake's parents. Sam and Leah, Leah's parents... is there anyone who'd once pledged their undying love to another who isn't now alone? The only couples who aren't broken up live in my crazy, dark fantasy world.

They are immortal.

I want forever.

With Edward.

That's what I've made up my mind to do.

But my heart suffers, screaming another name.

I drop, sitting on the edge of my bed, head in hands as I rock back and forth.

The tiny wolf at my wrist jangles.

Oh, what a mess.

... _Sigh_.

I need some chocolate.


	5. Chapter 5 Holding My Breath

**Chapter 5**

**Holding My Breath **

_point-of-view (pov): Jacob_

I have her in my arms and I am running. Running to put her in a tent with Edward for the night.

I've lost my mind. I think... maybe.

But for sure, I know I am going to risk losing my heart.

"You're such a jerk, Jake," she mutters against the thick padding of my parka. She'd fought against me carrying her and continues to fight me by pushing against my chest. She stops, suddenly noticing the extra layers I have on. "Hey, I thought you didn't get cold anymore."

"I don't," I answer absently, silently maneuvering through the trees. "I brought this for you. There's a storm coming and it's going to get cold. Really cold. I know how you hate it."

I think I catch her staring up at me for maybe a second. As I cast a curious glance her way, I see a glint of something under her mitten. I recognized my chain and the wolf charm, but...

"So, what's with the addition to your bracelet?" I ask more gruffly than I should have. I feel better, when she flushes and tries to hide it.

"Another graduation present," she says sheepishly. Not exactly the right tone to use with a wolf. I stifle a low, possessive growl.

"A rock, huh? Figures." I silently gnash my teeth against the pain slicing at my heart. No, this won't do.

"So why haven't you visited? Are you thinking about the last time we were alone in La Push?" I tease inappropriately.

"Whatever, Jake," she retorts with renewed vigor, but fails to meet my eye. Then defiantly she stiffens in my arms and dares to look straight into my eyes, "Nope, not at all."

OK, that hurts a little, but I'm not about to give up. I laugh in her face, "Either you're lying, or you are the most stubborn person alive."

She shifts uncomfortably in my arms.

_Hmmm..._ I wonder.

"You know, a smart person would look at every side of a decision," I explain, an attempt at practicality. We are, after all, talking about her life here.

"What are you saying, Jake, that I'm stupid?"

_Uh oh. _

"No, I'm just saying you're flying blind, Bella. You haven't kissed anybody other than him and me. How do you know that your destiny is to become a blood sucking leech like him?" _How do you know you don't belong with me?_ I add silently.

"_His_ name is Edward. And what you're calling a kiss between you and me, well, I'd classify that as an assault. Besides, I know what I want," she replies priggishly. But for the first time, the Bella I know doesn't sound quite so sure of herself. Or is that me and my wishful thinking?

"Hey, if you're so convinced, why don't you, you know, double check?" I breathe these words as seductively as I know how against the skin at her temple. I challenge her, moving my face ever so slightly closer to hers. Surprised, I stop abruptly, swearing I heard her breath hitch and felt her pulse race under my hands. I watch in amazement as her eyelids fall a little... in expectation? But, I take too long to respond and in that one heartbeat of inaction, the spitfire is back.

I feel a soft thumping at my chest.

"It's your face, Jake! I wouldn't stop him if he wants to break your jaw!" Her panicky voice makes me smile a little wider.

"Hey, if you _ask_ me to kiss you, he won't get mad. He said that was fine."

"Don't hold your breath," she mutters, eyes squinted, mouth pouting, pretending to focus on the softly falling snow over my shoulder. I know she wants to commit some sort of bodily harm on me.

I cock an eyebrow at her.

"Wait, I changed my mind," modifying her first reply with a glare at my suppressed amusement. "Go ahead, hold your breath until I ask, then."

Her retort holds an irresistible dare.

Well, _this_ I can't ignore. I suck in a huge gulp of air and pretend to slow down to a near standstill with my eyes popping out, staggering unnecessarily. She slides out of my grasp as I continue this game of chicken usually reserved for the swimming pool.

She beats her hands against me yelling at me to breathe. Then, the pounding stops. I watch in wonder as her face softens and I feel the soft brush of her mittened hand against my cheek.

"Jake, breathe, please." Her mouth is honing in toward me, her other hand grips tight around me. I am mesmerized and it is my undoing.

In one gigantic whoosh, I let out the air I'd been holding. My eyes drift closed and I anticipate the meeting of our lips. Cruelly, I hear her laugh. Almost simultaneously, I feel her loosen her grip and move away.

"I made you open your mouth to breathe!" she sing-songs in triumph, doing an air pump and a little victory dance.

With a quick motion I grab up a little of the snow that had been silently gathering on the ground during our horseplay. Stealthily, I sneak it down the neck of her sweater as she bounces around me in a tight circle trying not to touch anything.

She squeals at the cold against her bare skin. I quickly catch her back up into my arms. She doesn't resist me this time. We know we have to get to Edward and the camp before the harder snowfall.

"When are you going to finally figure out that you're in love with me, too?" I whisper into her hair as I speed further into the forest.

"I think I already know," is what I think I'd heard her breathe so quietly that even my werewolf senses can't ensure I'd heard her correctly.

The mere suggestion of such a response from her is enough to set my heart racing.

And then I break into a run.

I run as fast as I can through the woods, savoring the sound of both our hearts pounding to the beat of my foot falls.


	6. Chapter 6 In the Bag

**Ch. 6 **

**In the Bag**

_point-of-view (pov): Jacob_

We arrive in record time at the camp. The bloodsu... I mean, _Edward_ already had it all set up. He even sincerely thanks me for getting her there so quickly.

"Get her in the tent," I bark back, throwing my parka at the vampire. "Put her in that and keep her warm."

He shoots me a venomous, yet, somehow thankful look. Clearly, the fanged popsicle had forgotten to bring enough to keep Bella warm despite the psychic's warning of the freezing temperatures. I chuckle, thinking that it's a good thing that looks can't kill.

I phase after this small exchange to check in with Sam, telling him I'll be waiting for Seth to come in the morning. After, I pace outside the tent, keeping watch. I hear them talking inside. Strangely, Edward sounds close to the flap door. It seems he is as far away from Bella's voice as he can possibly be in that constricted space. I quickly understand why, as I listen to her chattering teeth. Didn't he make her put on the damn parka?

I whine loudly, urging Edward though our weird, vampire-werewolf mind meld to do something, anything, to help her. His response is frantic.

He is freaking out! Stupid vampire!

_Stop it!_ I roar at him with my mind. _Be a man!_

He mutters something insulting back.

Go fetch a space heater?! What did that leech just say?!

I ripple back into my human body and unzip the tent as little as possible, but enough to force my body inside.

"You go fetch your own damn space heater," I bellow back at him once I'm inside. "I'm not your lap dog." And as the livid words ring out from me, a survival procedure from Driver's Ed class leaps into my brain.

"That is the worst idea you've ever had," he thunders. "Get OUT!"

"I AM a space heater," I declare, arms outstretched, waiting for him to deny it. The fanged frigidaire looks away, snarling in frustration at the truth held in my words.

I move toward Bella, fully clothed, wrapped in the parka, and packed into the sleeping bag. She is still shivering. Her eyes go wide as I approach her. My hand moves toward the zipper at her throat.

I feel his hand on my shoulder and the menace in his voice.

"Keep your hands off of her," he hisses.

"Get your hand off me," I bite back at him.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-fight," Bella pleads.

Not wanting to upset her more, I dart a look at Edward and silently order him to shut the hell up and let me help her.

_Do you want her to die?_ I send a dark look at him, my question asked in silence.

"Fine," he seethes, conceding. "Just watch yourself, wolf."

I pull the zipper down low enough along the sleeping bag to let myself in. Then I force the zip back up to accommodate my body as well as hers. I cast a glance his way, finding him already huddled, back in his corner spot.

"Scoot over, Bells."

She is outraged. I can see it, but there is something else there hidden in the depths of her infuriated stare.

Curiosity?

Relief?

... Desire?

"Don't be stupid," I scold, an exasperated reprimand at myself, but also, I realize, a chiding response to her silent obstinence. Recovering my sarcasm, I add, "don't you want to have the use of your fricken fingers and toes after this? How can you kill crazy vampires without being able to grip the wooden stake?"

She closes her eyes in acquiescence and I cram myself into what little space there is left in the bag. Thankfully, I get no further objection from Bella as I wrap my arms around her. I doubt she can manage to fight me off anyway. I worry as I fit her snugly against my bare chest. Her trembling won't subside.

And then my testosterone kicks in. _Great. Just great. _

The feel of her body's vibrations no longer has me frantically trying to recall Driver's Ed emergency first aid training. Instead, my brain moves in directions I really have to reign in, especially since her mind-reading, bloodsucking boyfriend is spitting distance away. The full impact of what I am doing hits me right in the gut and I really start to sweat. The sudden heat wave coursing through me has nothing to do with all the down feathers cocooning me or the fact that I am a werewolf with a permanently high temperature.

His soft chuckle floats in the air as I let out a gush of air from my lungs at the feel of her icy fingers moving eagerly against my skin. I go rigid.

"Enjoy it, pup," I hear his strained icy laugh, his words just spoken loud enough so my supernatural hearing can catch it.

_Oh, this is going to be a long night._

"Bella, you're freezing," I complain trying to keep both the desire and concern from my voice. A violent shiver rips through her. A random thought about how skin-to-skin contact especially helps with hypothermia dances in my head as I hear an angry snarl from the vamp's corner.

"Survival one-oh-one," I state matter-of-factly, not sparing him a glance. "Get out of my head, Ed," I warn.

"It's not like television, dog, I can't turn it off."

She is still shaking, but I feel better as she begins to speak normally, using what little energy she has left to speak words of comfort to that leech. Ugh. The disgust and, yes, jealousy screams through me. I think I might have thrown up just a little in my mouth at his cloying romantic remarks. Yuck! A blood sucking, 108-year-old Romeo. And she is falling for all his standard, unoriginal, sappy lines.

Just let me die now.

My annoyance at him escalates as I sense pure exhaustion radiating off of her.

_Shut the hell up already!_ I whip the thought viciously at him. _She needs to sleep._

I rub her back and she, ever the heat seeker, nestles closer into me. Her words start to slur. I smile to myself as she turns to warm her blue-lipped mouth against the skin of my shoulder.

Unexpectedly, I hear an unusual sound, especially from her - a playful little giggle. I knew she kicked off her boots some time ago, but she chose now to press her bare toes against my leg. I suck in air through my clenched teeth. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of hearing me cry out. With much intent, I know she'd just gotten me back for the snow I'd slipped inside her sweater on the way to this wretched place. I let out my own amused and relieved chuckle, happy she is able to form strategies of revenge when I thought I'd be dealing with her gangrene. This doesn't mean, though, that I'm not still anxious.

_What if I hadn't been here to get her this warm tonight?_ I worry unnecessarily. I notice Edward's strained, but grateful look as I form the thought.

She was literally frozen to her toes

"Sleep my beautiful, Bella," I whisper as I put my lips against her ear to warm it.

I feel the restored symphony of her heartbeat and breath mingle.

Comforted by the rhythm, I let myself slowly drift off to sleep, holding her close.

~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~

"Stay... don't go."

Wha?... I open my eyes, a light sleeper tonight considering who I hold in my arms.

I can hear Edward's smile (of relief?) as he explains that Bella talks in her sleep. Oh, I understand the relief now. I for sure don't want to think about how he knows this little secret.

Well, it seems like I'm in for an even more eventful night than I first imagined.

Edward eyes me warily. "It's just a dream, Jacob. A figment of her imagination."

Is that desperation I hear in his voice?

_Or a message from inside her that has no other way out_, my belligerent thoughts add silently so as not to wake her.

Edward nods, in what surprisingly seems like agreement.

She quiets for awhile and my curiosity has me fighting sleep by engaging in conversation with the bloodsucker. He is surprisingly agreeable to it. I guess it also helps me to keep from thinking about the other stuff in my mind that he doesn't want to be subjected to. I grin into the incredible softness of Bella's hair. At least I'll have this night. Whatever happens, this moment will be mine.

As we converse, Edward surprises me with his patience and his understanding. I can see the depth of his love, and finally allow myself to accept the truth and clarity there. He knocks me for a loop with his selfless admission that he would let Bella go if she made the decision to leave him.

Option Number One, he labels it.

Then, he comes at me with a sucker punch. He reveals how he knows my love for Bella runs deep. So strong, in fact, that even he can't argue against it. He suggests that in an alternate universe he and I could probably have been friends. It just isn't happening now, what with me being his natural born enemy, and our unluckiness to have fallen in love with the same girl. If not for his repellent odor, I can almost agree with him about the friendship thing. Almost. I try to joke off the seriousness of this weird, unnatural truce.

_So, you like Virgos, too?_ I joke silently.

"Huh?" he responds, confused.

_Nevermind_, I think, shaking my head.

And then Bella starts talking again.

"I don't want to get married. I don't want a big wedding," she whines, pushing against me.

Then with a sigh, she cuddles closer, twining her arm around my waist. I don't want to look at Edward. I don't know what to think.

_Married?_

_What?!_

"She said, yes, Jake," an unmistakable note of satisfaction in his voice.

I recall the sparkly rock hanging from the bracelet I had given her. I don't want to hear him. Besides, engagements are broken all of the time. It rips me to the core to think that this is the end of all hope for Bella and me. I deeply desire to howl like the wolf that I am. I search for escape, but no animal, werewolf included, is fit enough to be outside on a night like tonight. The screeching wind blocks me from a quick getaway.

This one time that she truly needs him, the frigid being in the corner is all at once helpless, utterly useless. I lay thinking of how quickly I am able to be filled with loathing toward him. I am inexplicably enraged that he can't do anything to ensure her comfort and safety through this night. I shock myself at how vehemently I despise him and his complete inability to protect her. He is so powerless that he has no choice but to turn to me to do what needs to be done.

I know full well that my thoughts rip at him almost as effectively as if I'd slashed him with my vampire killing claws. He deserves this torment, as much as I deserve mine. I curse every idiotic decision I've ever made that finds me here, stuck between a rock and a soft place. I grimace at my stupid play on words.

Gritting my teeth, I steel myself against the innumerable amount of lashes I will surely take as I accept my fate. I am being guided by this unrequited love. So I stay and allow my heart to be whipped by words that the girl I adore utters in her sleep.


	7. Chapter 7 Passion

**  
Ch. 7: Passion**

**_point-of-view (pov): Bella_**

So warm.

Finally.

Back in the woods.

My fingers find purchase at last.

Warm skin.

No more pain.

No more cold.

Safe.

Oh, so deliciously warm.

I feel his shoulder beneath my palm.

Hot.

Yessss, I hiss with pleasure, envisioning his sweet smile.

_My Jake._

My hand moves across his chest. He shudders, but doesn't close the distance, not that there's much space left to close. I halt my caress mid-stroke to enjoy the quickening, rough staccato beat of his heart. My smile widens.

_My Jake._

My fingertips stroke up the center of his muscular chest to slide along the strong tendon in his neck, finally curving against his jaw.

My hand brushes against an unfamiliar coarseness. I gently worry my fingertips against his jawline until I recognize what makes it rough here...

Stubble.

I move my head, touching my cheek to his bare chest. A satisfied smile curls my lips against his bare skin.

I hear his intake of breath.

I feel his heat.

So right.

The top of my head nudges the underside of his chin as my questing fingers continue their journey.

_Wow, some dream! I force myself to stay asleep._

We're in a new place now.

Our beach where Edward can't venture. Near our fallen tree, a blessing from whomever, or whatever, allowing me this respite from my overwrought, thinking brain.

This is where I can have him, it seems to say. This is where I don't have to think about how undeserving I am of his love and how my life is too terror-filled and dangerous to welcome him in it.

This is the place in my heart where I can love him with all that is within me - broken, or not. Safe here to pretend that whatever I have is enough to love him as he deserves, for always.

It's where I don't have to worry that he'll imprint and go away.

Here I can allow myself to wholeheartedly embrace this new, fragile feeling, even gratefully accepting the limited time that our mortality gifts us with before bringing this precious love to an eventual end.

I feel his steady heartbeat against my cheek.

It beats stronger as my fingers languidly glide more deliberately across his visage. I slowly move my hand to the underside of his neck. I purr with pleasure, feeling his heartbeat race alongside mine. I watch desire pull at his dark, gorgeous features. I hear a rumble deep in his chest as I wrap my fingers in his long, dark hair.

I tug his face closer to mine.

Lean my body closer into his,

and say the words I long to say.

"Kiss me, Jake."


	8. Chapter 8 Pleasure

**Ch. 8  
Pleasure  
_pov: Jacob_**

_First it was funny._

She'd said yes to him, but her words denied wanting to marry him. I want to have a good belly laugh over that one, but refrain because I knew I'd wake her.

_Then, it was painful._

I realized as soon as the hilarity of the first thought subsided that she'd eventually open her eyes and make good on her promise to wed Edward. That is, if we got out of this nightmare alive. Not that I had my doubts or anything. Still, fighting to the death isn't something I can brush off as easily, though my fabricated nonchalance does keep Bella on edge rather than in terror.

_Then, it was ... surprising._

I freeze when I feel her hand stroke along my shoulder. Her questing fingers travel down and up along the contours of my bare chest as she whispers words I only torture myself with in my most secret of human fantasies. Which now, of course, Edward is privy to, I think grimly.

How can he stand this when I am ready to literally rip his head off just knowing they are going to get married?

"I _can't_ stand it, Jacob," comes his hoarse admission.

_Then go away_, I voicelessly howled right back at him, still unable to move. Not daring to wake her.

"No, I can't do that either," his voice a sullen whisper. "What if it is just a dream?"

_But what if it's not?_ I let my most fervent wish shimmer between us as I watch him bare his teeth. His face swiftly turns away from mine.

Then, to my extreme pleasure and to what could only have been to his extreme horror, together we witness Bella's new dream unfold. Clearly, I am the one with the better tickets to this particular show.

How sick is he to subject himself to this? I think wildly as I hear her satisfied purr and feel her curl herself closer to me.

"Very sick, indeed," the voice from the corner breathes. I can feel the palatable jealousy, rage, and sorrow in it.

I try very hard not to think about how really hard _this_ is getting. Her hands continue to caress me. I try to do what the guys in the pack do to stave off this exquisite ache. I send a prayerful thanks to the older wolves who'd already experienced this sort of thing and were forced to share it with those of us in the pack who are... less fortunate.

Unaware of my growing discomfort, she pushes her cheek against my chest, her ear over my heart, sighing contentedly. In my head flashes the astonished answer to the reason for her soft, satisfied sighs.

_She can hear my heart beating._

As soon as the thought glimmers, I watched _him_ grimace.

My eyes widen and my breathing labors as her searching fingers learn my face. I feel her smile against me. With her fingertips, she strokes the new growth of hair she discovers along my jaw line.

"I don't have that either," comes the bitter commentary from the corner as soon as the wondrous thoughts formed.

_Ed!_ I roar silently. _Get out of my head! NOW!_ It is both warning and plea.

He doesn't move. What is wrong with him? Is his telepathy busted? Is he _humming_? What the hell? What is he doing, subjecting himself to this? Maybe it's some masochistic vampire thing. I try desperately to ignore his presence, alarming as it is.

Bella's insistent exploration beckons me back to the vision she paints beside me. I follow willingly.

I feel her fingers twine in my hair.

I can't move now, barely able to think, even if I wanted to. I'm glad I kept the style long for her, despite the bother of my shagginess when I shift. No girl has ever done this to me before and this is the only one I most desperately ever desired would.

But she isn't awake enough to realize this isn't just a dream.

"Then wake her up."

His quiet suggestion, full of heart wrenching despair, reaches me almost as soon as I hear her persistent, unbelievable demand...

"Kiss me, Jake."


	9. Chapter 9 Pain

**  
Ch. 9  
Pain  
_pov: Edward_**

Aggrieved, I watch them.

My eyes never leave her as she sleeps. My mind never leaves his, despite how much I try. It is only too tempting to pretend I am Jacob Black, holding Bella in the way I can now only vicariously experience - through _him_.

His heart beats.

Yes.

Stubble?

Ahhh, yes. Even I have to up tilt my lips at Bella's wandering hand and Jacob's startled, fragmented thoughts.

Of course, hair growth, so human, so imperfect.

"I don't have that either." My words are more bitter than I intend.

My inaudible, resigned sigh has me quaking with unshed tears that I know will never find release.

To be human. What I would give to be Jacob Black right now.

Why am I still here? It isn't a shock to hear him echo my dejected thoughts.

"What if it is just a dream?" I whisper.

"_But what if it's not?"_ the boy, Jacob, replies in his mind.

I unwillingly accept his staggering thought. I unknowingly bare my teeth in response to his petulant question.

I hadn't even realized I spoke my wistful hope aloud. Am I so lovesick that I have to witness this... this torture? I know I am waiting for a different sort of burn to ignite within me, to vanquish the pain that is filling the place that should hold my heart, sparing me this agony and incinerating me on the spot. I should have let the Volturi have me.

Even Jacob's silent, but increasingly powerful, howls directing me to leave can't move me.

"Very sick, indeed," I agree. I barely recognize my own voice, so filled it is with jealousy, rage, and sorrow.

I already know, without the benefit of my telepathy, where her dream is taking her. I'd been there the first time, just the other night, in fact, when she'd first dreamed of him. The night after the kiss that broke more than just her hand.

I recall reaching for her when she cried out against some remembered pain and her cringing against my cold embrace. I hate to think what had brought on that heart wrenching cry. Then, my world flipped upside down when I heard her whisper, _"My Jake."_

The pure, unadulterated pleasure in her voice brought me to my knees. Shocked, I instinctively pulled away. Then relief washed over me as I thought her dream shifted and she reached out to touch _me_ in her sleep. Her fingers searched. But when she'd opened her chocolate brown eyes, the excitement and relief I was used to finding there were all but gone.

In their place was confusion and... disappointment. In my 108 years, these are things I recognize without the benefit of mind reading. I chose to ignore what I clearly read in her eyes as she tried to erase her true feelings with a quick, perhaps thoughtless, declaration of love. From that moment on, I selfishly clutched to the charade she constructed around us. When Alice warned me my future with her was becoming unclear, I already knew, without my sister's foresight where Bella's heart would eventual lead her. But the knowledge that our days together were numbered did nothing to alter my actions. I was unable to do the right thing and guide her to _him_.

I'd convinced myself it was only right that I should know she would be perfectly safe before I released her. But when I was reasonably sure of her safety, I couldn't let her go. So, I gave myself another condition. She had to _choose_ to leave me. I gambled with her love, believing that she wouldn't willingly cast me adrift.

I know undoubtedly that she is my drug, as I am hers. Both of us incurably addicted. Both of us heading toward a world of hurt because of it. My innermost thoughts tell me the excuses to keep her will be interminable. I would continuously throw up any ineffectual rule to prolong the release of my death grip on our reckless love. I know I'd lost my battle to guard her humanity as soon as I'd sworn to Jacob that I wouldn't be giving her up without a fight.

I feel his infuriated glare on me, now. Clearly, Jacob does not know what to do as the girl we love touches him in ways that has him running though the Seattle Mariner's batting lineup. I smile at his mantra, amused by his vain attempt to expel my queer talent from his mind. He chants ballplayers' names and stats over and over, a meditation to avoid a... _W__hat?_

An explosion? Oh, yes, there is that.

My deepest desire and my saddest regret.

"Get out!" He is raging at me now. My body refuses to obey his Alpha command. My hyperactive, ADHD vampire brain flits to a somewhat random question then. Why is Jacob Black only second in command in the pack? I know his heritage. He should be Alpha, but he's chosen the second position of... _Beta_. Yes, that's what Bella playfully dubbed it.

I grimace... _Bella_.

How much easier it would be if I was part of his werewolf brotherhood. I'd rather be forced, head down, belly to the ground, to comply with Jacob's impassioned orders to abandon them now.

Incredulously, I see the goodness in his infuriated curses, too. It catches me unaware to find he abhors watching me suffer. What makes it bearable for him is his narrow human belief that I can feeling only just a fraction of his previous pain. After all, he's rationalized, I am a heartless - come-to-life, lethal tin man. I see within him that despite this misconception, he recognizes my pain for what it is. He stumbles on the shocking awareness that his empathy for me threatens to eclipse _this_.

His greatest triumph.

This integrity, his humanity, is what will forever make _her Jake_ a far better man than I can ever hope to be.

Only days before, his annoying, macho desire to obtain the unobtainable had him childishly gleeful at any evidence of my discomfort when Bella wanted to be with him. As this particular night progresses, however, as we've gotten to know one another, tenuous bonds of friendship have formed between us. Try as he might to loudly deny it, he can't hide his true thoughts from me.

This girl clutches at both of us. In the short time we've each grown to love her, she's inevitably drawn us together, weaving our stories in an intricate pattern that is difficult to unravel without ruining its beauty. Now that he and I face it head on, this truth is all too impossible to ignore. There is goodness in all of us, each capable of a unique love that will last the ages. Examined as one, we forge a heart-rendering love story that will withstand the test of time.

I stifle a forlorned groan as another one of Jacob's undesirable thoughts finds a resting place in my mind.

He'd already won this, must he have her cognizant of her actions as well?

"Then wake her up," I mutter, dejectedly.

We both stiffen as we hear her yearning plea.

"Kiss me, Jake."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_**Author's note:** I'd love any reviews you might want to leave, it really helps with the motivation... Thanks in advance!_


	10. Chapter 10 Sudden Sight

**Chapter 10  
Sudden Sight  
_pov: Edward_**

Lips meet.

Passion unleashes in Jacob, tearing through me, too. Most thought flee his mind. What's left pours unfiltered straight into me.

I am an unwilling witness, watching with eyes clenched shut at the onslaught of Jacob's euphoria. This talent, a curse allowing me to know precisely what he's thinking when her fingers tighten in his hair, pulling him close.

_Heat._

The word roars to life in their minds.

Not the cool burn I feel from my blood thirst.

No.

This fire spirals and blazes with wild abandon between them. Together their minds resurrect within me a long faded memory. Their thoughts join with such force that they sweep me up in the undertow. Its power has me crying out for the ability to weep at the remembrance of the intensely satisfying, internal human flame that can warm even my cold, non-existent soul.

_Wait..._

My eyes open in shock. I push at my mind's power, hoping to enfold an unexpected miracle. I detest myself for this sudden voyeuristic need clamoring to consume me. But even my growing self-revulsion can't restrain me from throwing forth my unique abilities beyond their usual boundaries to capture the cause of my astonishment.

_Two_ minds...

in mine.

_Bella._

My breath catches.

I exhale...

_Bella._

Somehow, I've found my way to her... through a kiss I should not have been sharing.

Bewildered, I soundlessly leave the tent. Out of sight, yet still somehow miraculously within...

_her._

And she is in me, filling my whole being.

I explore this exotic place of Bella's mind and find...

Peace.

_Amazing._

Jacob gives her peace.

This gives me pause.

I expel another breath, marveling at how his simple touch crumbles that infernal guard wall that perpetually keeps her thoughts invisible to me...

Until now.

Enviously, I accept what I somehow have always known. From her first awkward attempts at flirtation with him, so long ago, Bella's whole self has been laid out bare for the wolf... always for..._ her Jake_. Now, in his intimate embrace, how easily she relinquishes her tight grip on the shield her mind uses to cover her heart's true longing.

Her thoughts transmit so clearly to me now. It is as though I have opened a book entitled, Isabella Swan.

I impatiently push Jacob's lustful thoughts away and concentrate on this precious gift he unwittingly offers me.

Through just one kiss, he gives me a chance to sift through this treasure trove, a place within Bella that I never thought I'd have access.

I find inside her the love she holds for me, tucked safely away in a deep recess. Comforted, I see it fills a large space, about equal in size to the love I hold for her. This surprises me. Combined, our love is immense. This trojan horse hides from both of us its ultimate fragility. Its enormity, I've come to accept, is its eventual downfall.

Like mine, this love of hers is shattered, but not beyond repair. The fragments are already loosely knitting together with the thread of something less ardent holding and capturing the memories of our mutual desires within its bonds. It is a passionate _first love_, I see now. An extraordinary part of her, meant for her to unearth and treasure when it doesn't hurt so much to touch.

Quite suddenly, I feel compelled to turn from these shadows, inexorably drawn to a boundless place within her, her human heart, a kaleidoscope of light and happiness in every color just now bursting free.

Jake and Bella.

_We fit perfectly_, she sighs contentedly, unknowingly sending out her every thought right into my brain.

I know the moment she wakes up.

Sleeping beauty, awakened by her true love's kiss, I muse.

I wonder at her glowing joy. It pulses unbelievably brighter as she opens her eyes to find herself _home_ in Jacob's arms, his lips upon hers. The sight is almost more than I can physically bear. I carry on, however, surviving this perfect agony clasping her long sheltered thoughts close to mine. My tenacity is rewarded with a vision that I know will bring me the ultimate comfort I will need when the time comes to leave...

empty...

without her.

She envisions it all. And because she sees, I do, too.

Her family, Charlie, Renee and her ballplayer, combine with what will be her new one, Jake, Sue, Billy and the pack. She sees the passing years, changing her, changing him. That enormous, copper-skinned man, no longer wolf, but the human whom she loves dearly. He stands protector when she needs him. Herself wielding an equal strength when he needs her, too.

Then, for a moment of the precious time I have in her head, I share her vision of two perfect, raven-haired children running through the forest.

Laughing eyes.

Bella's eyes.

Human.

Their father giving boisterous chase. Bella stands behind, head thrown back with laughter - exquisite, happy, and whole. She is waving and calling after them to be good. I see the humanity of Renee, and the shadow of humanity that is Esme, intertwine... fuse together in this older, wiser Bella. This _woman_, so full of life, calls out to me and I yearn to make her mine.

But _this_ Bella is not mine.

Her soul sends out an unmistakable siren song summoning Jacob to her side. This part of her hungers for him and the brilliant life only he can provide her. It is this future Bella that I would certainly steal away if I remain on my selfish path, ignoring the selfless promise I'd first made to myself when I realized the fatal love I hold for this girl.

I love Bella enough to give her this. This vital, yet, exceptionally vulnerable vision of her future.

It was, after all, what I've always wished for her to have.

_Option Number One._

So here it is.

Acceptance...

and I'm not lying broken, wishing for swift death.

My mind floats away from this startling reality when Bella's brain registers that Jacob's lips have stilled beneath hers.

I laugh silently at her silly, self-conscious question of whether it will always be this way for her. Perturbed, she wonders if it will always be her with the deluge of passion for her mate.

She steals my breath away again as I see through her eyes the love she has for him...

_her Jake_.

Unfathomable wonder and elation emanate from them both. It is a sight so awesome it hurts the empty place inside my chest where my heart should be bleeding, torn asunder. I indeed ache all over to watch the beauty of them together. How could I have not seen such perfection before? Was I so blinded by my own selfish desires to keep her to myself?

"I have to leave," _he_ whispers

_No,_ I quietly mouth along with her, wanting only this sublime joy for her.

Jacob's mind smiles, delighted with her response, relieved I wasn't there to witness.

_If he only knew._

"I won't be long," he promises. "But one thing first..."

He bends to kiss her again.

I long for the enraged jealousy to rip through me but, to my amazement, I find I cannot conjure it up. I watch Jacob's approach through Bella's loving eyes. Her heart sings for him. She thinks only of his gentleness as he frames her face, his warmth, his unwelcome hesitancy.

_I won't break, Jake,_ she defiantly forms this loud, foot-stomping, thought.

Ah, there she is, I think, with a rueful smile...

_My girl, MY Bella._

They share a brief and heartbreakingly sweet kiss that has her longing for more. Her mind cries out for his immediate return to her arms. With no one else being the wiser, my mind understands her desirous thirst for his touch.

"_That_ should have been our first kiss," Jacob smiles, "better late than never."

"But better never late," she retorts tartly. Though her words are pouty and light, through Jacob's eyes I see Bella's silent pleas for him to stay. She knows him well enough, though, not to give them voice. She knows she cannot ask him to deny this part of himself, or force him to choose between the two parts that make him whole.

She trusts him.

She trusts him enough to return.

She knows instinctively that he will.

She knows this truth like she knows her own heart beats...

for him.

For Jake.


	11. Chapter 11 The Strength of Men

**Ch. 11  
The Strength of Men  
pov: Edward**

As soon as they break contact, Bella's mind closes to me again. I am alone, surrounded by the dazzling white snow and and serene, crisp morning air. I end my unconscious humming and Jacob's thoughts soon entangled with mine. Another mind, younger, touches me as well. I realized that Seth must have entered the makeshift campground.

I hear Jacob slide next to me and see he is in an alarming state of undress.

"I'll go and you'll stay," I offer him, along with an outstretched hand, indicating peace.

He ignores my verbal bequest, but clasps my hand in his. It pains him, I see, to be so close to me. But, it's easy to be generous when you alone possess the wealth of riches, my mind whispers idly. I have to admit, though, I'm not quite sure if I'd be as magnanimous if our places were switched at this very moment.

He looks down, forcing himself to calmly meet me eye-to-eye. He is breathing through his mouth, I notice.

_"You heard every word,"_ he questions without his voice.

"Yes."

_"And you're still here?"_

"Yes," I admit.

_"And you thought_ I_ was the sick puppy?!"_

"I love her, Jacob. I have to see her safe. I know now that she loves you in a way that is good and right," I slowly, painfully assert. "What you offer her is a healthy, real life, one I've always fiercely wished for her. It's a life I can only bestow on her by... leaving her... to you."

_"Option Number One,"_ this new..._friend of mine?..._ questions. I tip my head in quick affirmation.  
_"You still want to murder me?"_

I bark out a laugh.

"Yes," I answer truthfully, feeling the weariness of my century-old soul.

_"Then I'll go down to fight with my brothers, as planned. You, you'll stay here with her. This way you'll have your chance at me some other day, if I don't do well by her,"_ Jacob voicelessly jests.

More somberly he adds, nodding toward the tent,_ "You have much to share with Bella."_

A warrior.

I bow to the ancient strength within him. It takes Bella to fully embrace her love for Jake for him to finally realize the full force of his true heritage.

I nod

We both know that for me to join my family now, offers an easy excuse to permanently eradicate my misery. He is protecting all of us - again. His strength is enough to give refuge to Bella and me from a yet unleashed terror - my unexamined fear of living my all but damned life without her.

It takes her boundless love for him to make me realize the truth that has always been clearly there for me to see.

It is Bella, herself, in a way I never would have imagined possible, who gives me the courage and opportunity to live up to the love I've professed to have for her.

My unprepared glimpse into her very soul is the salve for my wounds. Wounds that perhaps one day, centuries from now, might heal.

This is her parting gift to me.

Hope.

Beyond Bella.

"You have much to stay alive for, Jacob Black," I say, willing him victorious and unscarred in the fight.

"And you have to fight to ensure many of these things stay alive, Edward," he replies in a now tranquil, deep voice that I hadn't heard him use all night.

"_See that she's kept safe," _is the final thought he leaves with me as I watch him cast a last, longing look toward the nearby tent where Seth stands sentinel.

Then, he phases, running toward the clearing to join his brothers and my family against the ones who threaten to tear us all apart.

__________________________________________________________________________________

_Author's Note: a little warning, the next chapter begins a fairly significant pull away from the book, more so than what I've written already._


	12. Chapter 12 A Woman's Love

**Chapter 12**

**A Woman's Love**

I lay on my back, twisting my wrist above me, watching the little wolf give chase to the other dazzling charm on my bracelet. The... _diamond_... catches a ray of morning sunlight, casting rainbows around the tiny tent.

I'm speechless... overjoyed, but also filled with a gut wrenching sadness that is painfully coupled with a heavy heart. These impassioned feelings shouldn't both be able to co-exist like this. It's really just too much for one body to bear. I worry I'll break in two if I move myself from the warm spot in the sleeping bag that I shared with Jake last night - the place where we experienced just one kiss.

One amazingly, eye-opening, heart rendering, Oh-My-God, I've never felt like THAT _ever_ in my whole entire life, kind of kiss! I smile wickedly, knowing I'm alone and can take pleasure in it.

The knowledge of this is why I'm distracting myself with the sparkling pinpoints of light waltzing across the tent walls. So much easier to watch something else so amazingly beautiful that it hurts my eyes a little to look at it. Easier to avoid thinking about what has to be said and done.

Not moving anything except my gaze, I glance through the flapping tent door and see them both standing there. They're deep in conversation, with only the glittering one saying a word.

I watch them shake hands.

I catch Edward's bark of laughter.

I hear Jake telling him to talk to me.

I don't want to talk to Edward. Coward that I am.

I track Jake with only my eyes as he runs into the forest, phasing as he disappears. I send out a fervent, silent prayer to keep him safe today.

Then, I hear Seth's delighted, congratulatory bark. So, now all the guys in the pack know what transpired between us last night. Jake's such a show off! I smile indulgently to myself. I am glad, really deep down in my heart glad, that we've finally found each other this way.

I pull myself up to sitting as I watch Edward approach. My finger first run through my tangled mess of hair, then move to unconsciously play with the wolf charm as I gather up my courage to face him.

His penetrating gaze captures mine and keeps hold as he ducks into the tent.

So, he knows, too.

Well, seriously, Bella, how could he _not_?! I scold myself.

With both hands outstretched, I reach for him, this boy who gave me my first brush with true love. Edward sits next to me, taking hold of just one. His hand gently squeezes mine.

We sit in silence for what seems an eternity.

"Maybe you should start yelling at me now," I suggest softly, focusing my attention on our clasped hands.

"No, Bella. It's OK."

"I wish you'd just shout, or something," I prompt. "Tell me I was leading you on. Tell me I'm a cheater, a two-timer, a jerk, a... bitch," I can barely catch my breath between the admonishments, getting increasingly louder as the insults fly into my head. "C'mon, just let it rip, Edward. Say something, anything, to make you feel better." _To make me feel better,_ I amend silently.

"No. Bella. Never. You're none of those things," he replies calmly, voice full of sadness.

I want to shake him, to force him to get mad. I certainly deserve it. I promised to marry him, what, only a few days before? And if everyone else is right, he's all but placed an engagement ring on my left wrist. He should be very, very pissed! But he isn't mad and that is a little bit scary, and really, just plain weird.

"Why aren't you mad at me?"

"Because you love him."

"But I promised to marry you."

I didn't really know where I was going with this, but think it's a good place to start, especially if I want a fight.

"Yes," he replies thoughtfully, "but now, you know better, Bella. You love him."

My heart can't stand his quiet understanding and acceptance. It's a reaction that is much more mature than his youthful appearance belies. I sigh loudly, exasperated with him, with myself. I know he deserves so much more from me than this. I just didn't know what to do. All I know is that he must be made to understand that despite what he fears he is, a heartless, soul-less creature of the dark, he is a man worth loving. Heartbreakingly, I also know I can't be the one to offer him that love. At least, not the way he deserves. He is right. I do know better now, but I don't know how to convey it properly.

"I love you, too, Edward." The words rush out of me before I can grab them back, not knowing if I'm hurting him more with the simple truth.

"I know, Bella...

but you love Jake more."

Every cell in my body aches to deny it.

Instead, I clasp harder onto Edward's hand, willing him to meet my gaze. His face is up tilted, the muscles in his jaw tight, his unseeing gaze on the ceiling where the little rainbows still dance. I move when he doesn't, trying to force my way onto his lap, to wrap my other arm around him, to bring him comfort and erase the sorrow I place in him through my heart's choice. I cling to him, unconsciously begging him to help me erase his sadness, to help me forget my love for Jake, to help me forget everything but him. I plead silently for his help to return us to where we were before he left me...

alone and broken.

Before I found Jake.

"Careful, love," he whispers, easing out of my embrace. A moment's pause and I hear him quietly, but forcefully, say, "you deserve every happiness, Bella. Jake will see to that. I know he will. It's all I've ever wanted to give you."

I relax my grip on him and slide back onto the sleeping bag beside him. I fiddle with the bracelet again. His other hand stills my shaky fingers which are working to unclasp the charm he'd given me. He looks intently at me now, and shakes his head, no.

Silence again. I hear a wolf howl in the distance. It reminds me of what I must say.

"I do love you, Edward. I hope you know that." My eyes, at first downcast, now met his golden gaze.

"I do, Bella, and... and I want you to know that I love you... beyond words... I love you enough to let you go."

The words hang in the air.

Then, with his wintry touch, he catches my chin up. I draw closer for a parting kiss, but just as our lips are about to touch, he moves his face aside, pulling me close against him. Feeling the anguished wracking of his body as he wraps around me, I cry silent tears against his cool throat. Pressing my lips there, I try to tell him without the benefit of telepathy, or spoken word, how much this is ripping at me inside.

My breath stops as I feel something warm and wet slide down against my own cheek. I pull his face away and see something impossible fall from his eye.

One tear...

blood red...

streaking down to cut a path along his strong, flawless jawline.

_"Edw..."_ I breathlessly start to say, my hand in mid-air moving to wipe it away.

Then Seth's keening howl shatters this moment between us.

Edward's whole being whips toward the sound. He closes his eyes, brings his hands to the sides of his head, and moans, "No! Not him! Sam! Help him!"

He looks at me wildly and then to Seth, who's whining loudly, his furry head poking in through the tent door. Edward shouts, "Go to him, Seth, RUN!"

Edward grabs onto my shoulders and holds fast. Maybe he knows the exact moment I start to feel faint.

His golden stare compels me to pay attention. His gaze fills with fear and concern. I hear him calling my name through a wind tunnel. His voice, aghast, comes from very, very far away, speaking words I refuse to hear.

"Bella, it's Jacob."


	13. Chapter 13 Breaking

**Chapter 13  
Breaking  
_pov:Edward_**

I have her in my arms and I am running...

running to bring Bella to Jacob, who is lying hurt in the clearing.

Though I have no heartbeat...

This I know...

I've lost my heart.

I think I might lose my mind, too, if I don't get Bella to his side.

I run faster...

to do what I never thought possible...

to give Bella up to the man who had been my sworn enemy, who is now my strongest ally in this personal war I wage.

In my head, I hear him howl her name.

Faster my feet fly, hitting the ground, keeping time with the skittering beat of Bella's heart. Her fear is palatable, too overwhelming for her to be able to take her regular place on my back during our mad dash to the clearing.

Ahead, I see the pillars of smoke rising. I burst into the open field, just stopping short of an immense, roaring fire. Using my telepathy to hear Jasper, I learn that the bodies of Victoria and her newborn spawn are all accounted for. They're all burning, except for one frenzied one, held by Jasper and Emmett, away from the rest of my family. I can't concentrate on this newborn's wild thoughts as I frantically locate Carlisle hovering over Jacob's prone body.

Jake shimmers somewhere between man and wolf. His body, too broken to be completely one or the other. His jaw clenches against the excruciating pain. I hear Bella's alarmed gasp when she finally lays eyes on him, his body ripped and torn, helpless on the ground. She quickly slides out of my hold, running blindly to kneel at Jacob's side. She grabs his good hand, reassuring him with her presence.

"You'll be OK," her voice fights for calm. Worried tears stream down the sides of her face.

"We're going to have to re-break his bones to set them properly," Carlisle explains to Sam, careful to phrase his words so Sam understands he means Jacob no harm. "They're mending too quickly. You have to let me do this if you want him to ever walk upright again."

Sam wavers. I looked to Bella, Jake, and then to the Alpha.

"Let him do it," I say with some command in my voice. Seth, now beside me, whines throatily at the lead wolf sending a message for him to listen to Carlisle and me.

"Sam, it'll be OK," I say. "Carlisle knows what he is doing."

After a moment's hesitation, Sam nods to Carlisle, and I swiftly move to Bella's side.

"You have to let go of her hand, Jake," I say with caution. Bella glares at me. But before Jake can form an insulting thought beyond his pain, I add, "you'll crush her if you let her hold on to you through this."

With that little reminder, Jake regains some clarity of thought. He slips his fingers from Bella's grasp and as his hand drops, I grab it up in my hold. I greet his shocked, grateful stare straight on.

"OK, bring it, Dr. Fang" Jake fiercely spits out through gritted teeth, only a slight tremor in his voice reveals the pain he is in.

Carlisle winces slightly at the nickname, but goes about the procedure. I tell Jake to try to think of _anything else_ but what was happening. His mind tells me that his injuries were due to protecting Leah Clearwater from certain death at the hands of Victoria, herself. A self-satisfied sound comes from him as he thinks about how he tore Victoria's head clear off her shoulders, but sobered quickly as he thought about how he hadn't expected such a powerful, swift, physical retribution from her headless body.

Without warning, Carlisle's first break has me buckling with Jake nearly crushing _my_ hand. I mutter to Carlisle that maybe he should give the patient some anesthesia. But the second re-splitting has Jake passing out from the sheer trauma of it. Though he goes slack, I still hold his feverish fingers in my cold grip. Gently, I pull Bella under my other arm.

"Don't worry, he'll be alright, Bella," I assure her. "For a wolf, he's pretty pig-headed. He's too stubborn to let this get the better of him."

The bone cracking sounds are truly vomit inducing. Bella weeps silently beside me, unable to control her emotions any longer. Mercifully, it isn't too long before Carlisle's ghastly work is done. At my nod, the werewolves gather around us, their stench, overwhelming. I move when they come to lift Jacob up and take him home. I stand aside, watching as they carefully enfold Bella in their tight circle. She gives me one last look, her tear-streaked face full of worry for me, and for the unconscious man lying beside her. The door shuts, cutting the sight of her off from me.

The ignition roars.

They are gone.

Turning, I meet Alice's concerned gaze. Her mind asks me if I am OK. I smile wryly, slinging my arm across her slim shoulders.

"Yes, I think so." I breathe my reply quietly into the night.

Behind us, Jasper and Emmett have a firm grip on the new vampire who's begged her way into our family. Everyone's mind calls her, Bree. Her bewildered, savage cries follow us into the house.


	14. Chapter 14 Demi

**Chapter 14  
Demi**

_Rating: M  
Warnings: sexual innuendo and coarse language (don't say I didn't tell you! :))  
POV: Bella_

_________________________________________________________________________

Jacob is angry with me, perhaps justifiably so, considering all that we've just been through.

"Haven't you taken into account _what_ I am?!" Jake roars at me. "It's... what?... SEVEN dog years for ONE human year! That makes me something like, 112! I'm even older than Edward!"

I can't help but smile at his swift mathematical calculation.

"So, how long have you been waiting to pull that one on me, Jake?" I ask, wringing out a cool cloth, calmly wiping the sweat from his brow. "Look, this isn't about Edward. It's about you and me. Besides, inside you're 16, not even two decades old, much less a century!"

His impressively hot, masculine body is still healing from his near fatal wounds from about a week ago. Carlisle told us that he'd have trouble maintaining his usual fevered body temperature while he was in the healing process. Apparently, this is due to the mixture of shock and meds. We alternate between keeping up his body heat by putting him in a shirt, and keeping him cool, stripped bare, covered only in a light cotton sheet. On the just-a-sheet days, Charlie takes over helping Billy with the nursing. On the shirt days I am allowed to be the primary helper. I make it clear to both our dads that I want to help Billy nurse my best friend back to full health. Lately, Jake's taken to wearing a shirt to bed. It seems to help keep him at about 102 degrees, more normal for him than the regular human 98.6. It also keeps me at his bedside.

During the first few days of his recuperation, Jake was docile and amenable. I figure I had the pain killers to thank for that. They blurred his senses and slowed his reflexes, allowing him to relax and heal. The medication also had him a little prone to sleep talking, too, which makes me feel somewhat satisfied that we were at least _a little bit_ even.

Then, almost overnight, he turns into this ornery beast. It happened two days ago when I slipped out of his rather amorous embrace, refusing to venture much closer than an arm's length away after that. I've since had to keep myself from touching him like I had in the sleeping bag. I ache to do so, in fact, but know I shouldn't. First, I worry about his injuries and, second, I figure we have to have a serious talk before we let our hormones carry us away.

As I imagined, this _talk_ has him straining in helpless frustration as I sit next to him, calmly telling him that we can't be together the way I think he wants.

"What are you saying, Bella?" I see he his temper flash. Forcefully, he pushes the washcloth away.

"I'm saying, that as much as I want to be with you, we can't..." I shift uncomfortably, barely able to make myself look at him, wishing to avoid the look of anger and confusion on his face.

"What, Bella?" he grits his teeth, the muscles clench in his jaw. "We can't _what_?"

"You know!" I insist.

He stares blankly at me.

_Idiot_, I think.

"S-E-X, Jake! We can't have sex_, OK?_!"

His eyes go wide at that, but he remains silent while I continue my semi-prepared speech.

"You might look 25, but the rest of this town, especially my father, _knows_ you're 16. I'm not going to get arrested for statutory rape! Do you know how embarrassing that would be for me? It's not right, this whole thing. We have to wait for that, I mean," I pause my scattered lecture, not wanting him to think that I didn't want him that way, "I want you, Jake. I really, really, truly do, but I think we should wait until we, well... _you_... are old enough and ready."

I watch the wind die from his sails. His stunned expression is interrupted by his loud guffaw. Astonished, I witness a parade of emotions march across his face.

Mirth.

Of all things, he finally settles on mirth? The tension between us dissipates during his near fit of hysterical laughter.

Arms akimbo, I stare open-mouthed at him. My foot taps, impatient for the end of his ridiculous response, wondering if I should phone Carlisle to let him know that he needed to lower the dosage on Jake's pain medication.

I stand there, seriously deliberating this, and fail to catch Jake's flash of movement. He grabs me around the waist, which has me toppling into his arms and onto his chest. _This is something Jake really shouldn't be doing,_ I think randomly as I feel myself lose my fight with gravity. I scold him for overexerting as I gently try to extricate myself. He holds me fast, nuzzling his face into my hair, taking in a long breath there. His heart beat is strong and even.

Instantly, I know he is OK with us, the way we are right now.

I sigh, _thank goodness!_

"God, Bells, I thought you were breaking up with me even before we got started! And all because of a stupid two year age difference!"

"Don't remind me," I mumble into his chest. "I feel like such a Demi."

I don't move right off right away, loving the feel of him against me. _So strong, mmmmm... how delicious is my __new boyfriend_? I think with a self-satisfied purr.

"What?! What are you talking about?"

"You know," I continue, slowly rubbing my cheek against the thermal shirt he's wearing, unable to help myself. "Demi Moore, 42. Ashton Kutcher, 27. Married. It's...it's... it's horrifying!!"

I feel a rumble of laughter threatening to break free from him. Its origin seems to be coming from under my hand, which is now kneading the aforementioned shirt up his solid torso. _Well, heck, since I'm here,_ I think naughtily, I_ should take advantage of the situation and give into some of the desires I'd been having these last few days._

Seemingly unaware, Jake lets himself choke on his incredulous chuckle.

"Bella! You have a crazy-ass, vampire bitch coming after you seeking revenge with an army of outrageously strong, blood thirsty leeches at her back. Your ex-boyfriend is a fucking bloodsucker who lives in a damn _coven_, and you're now in bed with your new boyfriend" he stops at the words, relishing them. "A boyfriend who's like the incredible hulk because when he's enraged he turns into a fucking werewolf! Now, you're going to be protected by my werewolf _pack_ brothers and you're _horrified_ that you're two years older than me? You're a real cougar!" His bellowing laugh reverberates around his small room. "How fucked up is your brain, Bella?!"

Taken aback, my fingers still. I temporarily end my subtle exploration of his body to pull back and stare at him. I stop to think a moment before I answer.

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess, the way my brain works is pretty fucked up!"

He smiles widely at my use of the F-word, which I don't really use often. Then, with more than obvious, jubilant relief, he wraps me into one of his tight, lung deflating hugs.

Can't....

breathe...

Jake...

his arms relax and he bends to place a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Oh, and just for the record, I don't want you _that_ way, anyway." The whispered words tickle my ear.

Startled at their meaning, I shift my body back onto the bed, next to his good side. My other arm is still slung over him in a loose hug.

_What did he just say?_

With my face toward the ceiling, my eyes pinch nearly closed, I purse my mouth. Then, I shift my gaze to contemplate him. He has on a happy grin, his tongue all but lolling out, like a big dog who'd just been granted the OK to stick his head out of the car window. _So Jake._ So impossibly happy just to have me nearby... simply ecstatic because, just like sticking one's head out the window, this is quite possibly the absolute best possible gift any canine turned man could _ever_ have.

I roll my eyes and quietly harrumpphh.

_He didn't want me that way_? Well! I'm somewhat... offended!

I've been taking cold showers every night and using ever inch of my willpower not to run my hands up and down his body every time I'm near him and _he doesn't want me that way, anyway_?!

Before I can draw up anger at this insult to injury, I make up my mind... I decide to...

_double check._

I smirk to myself as I recall his words that started our mini-snow fight in the woods the other day. Before... well, before all of this was even a remote possibility.

I smile at him as enticingly as I know how, propping myself up on one elbow. I don't have much practice at seduction, really, but it seems to be working.

His amusement fades as he senses a change in me. He eyes me suspiciously. His eyes slit as he watches my hand move slowly up his body, feeling my fingertips just grazing against him. I watch his gaze follow my movements, his eyes, heated, skitter to meet my matching hot look when he feels me lightly touch the hollow of his throat. His pulse leaps to life there, where my skin comes into contact with his.

_Hmmmm_... Interesting.

The forest green shirt he wears has three brass buttons that open at the neck. I pluck at them, carefully undoing them one by one. I watch him watching my fingers painstakingly accomplish their teasing task. His breath heightens as I push the last metal disk through its worn buttonhole.

I think he may be reconsidering. A self-assured, feline smile plays on my lips.

I reach into his shirt with just my fingertips, stroking the muscular contours I find there. I feel them tighten under my touch. Jake's not the only one breathing hard now. My eager hand had already managed to push his shirt up during our conversation. So now all my fingers have to do is trail his upper chest, dancing over the bunched material to his bare skin, making a slow, languid glide toward his belly button. I hum to myself as I dip my finger into it. _Not an out-y,_ I think with a smile.

I continue my exploration of his torso. There's a pleasant, light sprinkling of hair beneath his belly button, running a straight line pointing...

I follow that line, running my hand along the front ridge of his waistband, dipping just underneath at his side waist.

I watch his eyes, molten with heat, no anger or laughter anymore. He's straining toward me now.

Unintentionally, my leg rubs up along his unharmed one. I hear his deep, pleased moan, urging me on. I push my hip closer to him, feeling his... arousal.

I slide my torso up along his good side, moving my face closer to his. I am close enough to feel his breath on my cheek, I nudge his mouth towards mine. I nip at his bottom lip with my teeth. I push closer for a deeper kiss, one that has him placing his hand at the nape of my neck. He kisses me back. Ecstasy unlike I'd ever felt with anyone else erupts from me at our tongues meeting, making my head spin.

I release from our lip lock and pull away slightly to look into his face.

"Bella," Jake gasps, staring up at me with passion-glazed eyes. "What are you doing to me?"

His needy voice snaps me out of my seductive trance.

I shake my head, clearing it, recalling my mission.

"Oh, just _double checking_... you know," I emphasize the right words giving him a light response, despite my racing heart. I pat his chest and teasingly shift away. Pretending to check his forehead, I purposefully bring my less than ample chest closer to his eye-level.

I hear his intake of breath and inwardly smile.

I move quickly away when I feel his arm move a little - to touch me, or to perhaps give himself a better view? I forcefully clear my throat, meeting his heated gaze with my own unspoken challenge, "...I was just _double checking_ how sure you are about _not wanting me that way_."

As I slink off the bed, I throw him a provocative smile, knowing full well his injuries prevent him from following.

He growls a curse under his breath.

"Minx! That was really evil of you, Bella. I think I'll have to get you back for that, when I'm _up_ for it."

I laugh at his word choice.

_Now wouldn't this be a fun game?_ I think, secretly relishing the initiation of what is sure to be our extended... foreplay.

I grin as I turn to put the washcloth back in the basin. My hair falls to shade my profile, hiding my blushing pleasure from him.

Oh yes...

judging where my mind, my hands and my body took me a minute ago,

I really am

very

very

wicked.


	15. Chapter 15 Out on the Doorstep

**Ch 15  
Out on the Doorstep**

_Rating: M  
Warnings: coarse language  
POV: : Leah Clearwater_

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What is _she_ doing here? Hadn't she done enough, already?

I am standing on the Black's front porch, the gift of his new shoes in my hand. I'm revving up the nerve to go ask for forgiveness, not something I do easily or lightly. As I'm thinking about turning to leave, my wolf-girl super hearing picks up a distinctly female voice coming from inside the distinctly male Black residence. I know none of Jake's sisters are in town, so it has to be that Bella girl.

I feel a stir of anger come from deep in my belly and a low growl forms at my throat. If it wasn't for _her_, maybe those fucking Cullen bloodsuckers would have hightailed out of Forks. If it wasn't for _her_ that red-headed, psycho vamp would never have tried to kill me and Jake wouldn't still be recovering from those slashing wounds. I mean, if there weren't any vamps in the area, the reason for Sam to have turned and for me to freakishly join his goddamn, mind reading werewolf pack would be GONE. With Bella gone, I wouldn't be stuck in my personal version of hell.

As if it isn't humiliating enough to have to be around them as a normal, jilted, heartbroken ex-girlfriend. Now nearly available Quileute hunk of a man knows what an absolute morose bitch I am in my most secret, broken thoughts about Sam and my cousin, Emily. What the hell do they expect me to be thinking?

Well... I smirk to myself, it had been fairly shocking to find out that each one of them harbors a secret fantasy to be with me. What's equally disturbing is that I know, like no normal girl can know, just how messed up Sam is about _that_. In this case, and only in this case, I am eternally grateful to be in the know. But, I'm still indescribably frustrated that there is not a damn thing I can do about Sam's feelings about me.

I know it's become a habit, this wallowing. I need to break it, but since I already opened the door to today's pity party, I'm happy to waltz right into the revelry, again. Besides, it isn't as if I'm in wolf form. No one can read my mind when I'm just a girl.

I'm still standing at the door, poised to knock. I straighten my designer skirt and adjust my top. I pause my fidgeting, thinking about all of the crazy shit I've had to deal with since my father's death. It's been one Shakespearean tragedy after another. Now, I'm in this outrageously fucked up situation and the only person in the pack who even remotely seems to understand, or at least did, is the guy in there who just a week ago, thanks to me, was on his deathbed.

I remember being so incredibly relieved to find out that Jake would make his way to full recovery. I'd done some major retail therapy while I was biting my nails waiting to hear Dr. Dracula's verdict.

And now, Jake, the jerkwad, is with the very girl who put all of our lives on the line without a second thought to any of our safety. I watch my hand quiver as I struggle for control. I think I might need some serious anger management classes, or something, real soon.

_OK, get it together, Leah, _I pep talk myself._ Just go in, say sorry, give him the damn shoes and walk out. That's all._

I heave a sigh and knock on the door.

The door is pulled open, not by Billy, but by the girl.

She'd been in my mind before. In real life, she is so little, so fragile. Her long, wavy, dark hair is twisted into an untidy, loose bun. Her skin is so light. Yet even with her striking looks, she is still so clearly in need of a fashion makeover. There's something about her that I instantly like, despite my desperate desire to throw her into the next town for causing someone like Jake the kind of heartbreak that is nearly humanly impossible to bear.

"Hello?" she eyes me cautiously, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you know me. Well, I know Charlie," I sigh inwardly at my stumbling. Outwardly, I scowl and force back some of the anger that has me tripping over my words. "Anyway I'm Leah, Leah Clearwater. Sue's daughter. I need to see Jake." I am being purposely gruff, not wanting to form any sort of friendly attachment with this leech lover.

Her eyes widen at my tone. I'm not sure what to make of her expression.

"Oh! Sure," she says in a bright, neighborly voice, "I'm sure he'd like to see you." Her voice wavers a little, hinting that she definitely thought otherwise. She opens the door wider to allow me entrance, anyway.

I slide in, purposely not making eye contact or engaging in conversation.

Just need to see Jake...

give him the damn shoes

and get out.


	16. Chapter 16 Splintering Wood

**Ch16  
Splintering Wood**

_Rating: M  
Warnings: coarse language  
POV: Bella_

I open the door and am greeted by the stunning beauty of a woman warrior, dressed more fashionably than even Alice, carrying a new pair of Jake's favorite brand of shoes.

"Hello?" I say cautiously, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you know me," she says, unfriendliness rippling off her in waves. Her voice makes me fully aware that she hates the sight of me. "Well, I know Charlie. Anyway, I'm Leah, Leah Clearwater, Sue's daughter. I need to see Jake."

Leah.

Oh.

Wow, she's just gorgeous. Life is so unfair.

"Oh! Sure," I say,"I'm sure he'd like to see you." I'm betting he won't, but add the last line just to try to wipe the grim look off her face.

It doesn't work.

I move aside, holding the door open wide for her.

She glides in with the grace of a dancer and suddenly, I realize I don't want Leah anywhere near Jake... at least, not alone.

She seems to know where his room is and I find myself upset that she does. I follow her in and watch Jake's face form an expression of incredulity, which he instantly masks with his brooding Sam face.

"Knock it off, Jake," Leah grumbles. "I came here to apologize. With a peace offering, even." Her words are full of honest, though reluctant, remorse. She holds the symbolic olive branch up with one graceful, long fingertip. The dangling designer shoes are tied together at the laces.

His eyes follow her hand movement. There's only a glimmer of a twinkle of a smile in his eyes. To the less knowing observer, Jake looks hard and unforgiving.

"Are you even going to talk, you stubborn ass?!" her voice is all at once petulant and apologetic. I can't figure out how she manages it.

"What do you want me to say, Leah?" Jake snarls back. "Oh, it's OK that you wanted to be a damn hotshot and put all of us in deadly jeopardy while you're off trying to prove yourself? Or trying to accomplish something worse?! You're pathetic."

"I'm NOT trying to prove anything!" she loudly insists. The veins pulse at her neck, visible in her heightened state. "I thought I could take her!"

"Sure. Sure. It really looked like you had her there. From where I was standing, the leech was ready to make her death pounce on you. You could've been killed! "

"That's not true." I watch Leah's face fall. She seems... What is this? Was she _disappointed_? But all I hear is defiance in her voice.

"Really, or are you going to be in denial about THIS, too?" Jake's voice is raised. It seems he's ready to punch all of her buttons. Which I think is completely unfair.

"You were almost killed," he's shouting now. "I _saw_ your death wish. I SAW IT flash in my head. Is that what you want? Because I sure as hell didn't want to die. You nearly killed me with your morbid maverick maneuver."

"I'm sorry, OK?" She is shaking now. I can't tell if it's in fury, or what. "But, FUCK YOU, Jake! You don't know what my life is like!"

"Oh, hell, yes, I do," he growls, tapping the side of his head. "And it's not a pretty picture, girlie-wolf. Get over yourself already. It's not like you're the only one who's ever felt this way!"

"You're such an asshole, Jake!" Leah's beautiful features become a grotesque mask, a combination of bone-deep frustration and despair. I watch as she forcefully lets the shoes in her hand fly toward the bed, landing inches away from Jake's forehead, splintering the oak headboard.

Their angry, ragged breathing fills the room, along with our shared shocked silence.

"You are sort of being an asshole, Jake," I quietly interject, fairly sure they'd both forgotten I was in the room.

Their infuriated glares, whip toward me in utter surprise. I hold both of my hands up, pleading peace.

I watch Jake shimmer and I know I have to get Leah out, or risk him re-injuring himself with a sudden phase. I approach her cautiously, afraid that she's close to shifting, too, but she seems too aghast at her own actions. She follows me without question. I sit her at the kitchen table and pour her a glass of lemonade from the fridge.

I watch her silently run her slim hand through her pixie cut, much like Alice's. Her other fingers draw random patterns in the condensation forming on the side of her glass. She's a tough girl, but it seems like she hasn't always been this hard. This revelation comes as a bit of a surprise to me.

I watch as a bright tear threatens to fall before Leah's impatient fingertips brush it away.

"You know," she speaks as if reading my mind, "Bella, I wasn't born a compassionless shrew. I used to be nice before all this shit hit the fan."

She said my name. At least she was recognizing my presence now. I pour myself a glass and go to sit across from her at the table. I say nothing.

"So, are you with him? Jake, I mean," her questions sounds almost like an accusation.

"Yes, I am," a wide smile splays across my face. She looks at me, seemingly slightly nauseous.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I thought that bloodsu... um.. vampire guy was your one and only?" Her question is one of curiosity. I am painfully aware she knows all about me through Jacob's curious wolf pack abilities . It seems relatively understandable, then, that she's confused about my choice in men.

"Yes, I'm sure," I reply confidently, meeting her challenge. "I want to be with Jake. And, yeah, I thought that, too, about Edward, but ..." my voice trails off. What I want to say is just too much. I don't even know this girl, but she manages to put me at ease with her direct attitude, so much like Jake, that I almost can't help myself.

"I bet I can guess," she wagers, sarcastically. "This bloodsucker, Edward, shattered you and all that love you had for him. Now, even if he does want you back, there's no way you can get to where you were before he left you. You've filled up all those empty places inside with my pal in the sickbed?"

"Partly," I say, recognizing myself in the misery she paints all over herself at the other end of the table. "Edward loved me in a way that no one else ever has or ever will. But I didn't fill the dead space he left me with, with Jake. The feelings I have for Jake overshadow what Edward and I had. My feelings for Jake don't negate what I have for Edward, or change them, for that matter."

"Look, I've loved and lost," Leah interjects. "I'm sure you know the whole sordid story about Sam, Emily and me. I don't believe in love. It just disappoints." I watch her face crumple slightly as she pauses before continuing. "I mean, Bella, what if you change your mind again?" I study her as another pained look crosses her face, "Or, what if Jake changes his?"

_Imprint_ is what she means.

The thoughtful silence is interrupted by a bellow from the other room.

"Bella, is Leah still out there?"

"She's still here," I shout back at him. Her eyes warily capture mine and she theatrically rolls them. I try to squelch a giggle tickling the back of my throat.

"Hey, Leah! Thanks for the fucking shoes."

A loud barking laugh seems to shoot through Leah, right up from her toes.

"You're welcome, jerkface!" She shouts back, triumphant.

Wow, I think. It's good she's not that happy all the time, because when she smiles like that, she sure can light up a room.

Leah moves to pick up our glasses, putting them in the sink.

"You're his _Sam_," Leah sends me a look of warning as she washes out the glasses. "You're everything he wants.. .and for a time, he thought it was everything he couldn't have. If you leave to go back to that leech of yours, I don't think he or the pack could handle it, not a second time." Leah stops her task to stare at me, hard.

"I came here not liking you," she said without a flinch. "I still, really don't want to, but now, I can't help but want to get to know you. I want to tell you stuff I barely want to admit to myself. I think maybe I feel this way because you are _here_. I don't know." She shakes her head as if trying to clear it. "Seeing you brings back my own disappointment," she admits reluctantly, "but seeing you also gives me... hope? Maybe. You're his... Sam." Her eyes on me again. She casts her arms out and continues, "and you are... _here_. You chose Jake, even though you believed your life was supposed to be with someone else."

She wipes her hands and comes to stand by me. I walk her to the door and stop, turning to her, before I open it to let her out.

"You know," I reply, looking up at her. "Leah, I've been where you are. I had a Sam, too, in Edward. The only difference? He came back. I just couldn't go back. I've had loss, too. My grief at losing Edward was so immense. Too big, I think. So big that I wanted to die when I thought it was gone. It overshadowed everything! I didn't even notice how I felt about Jacob. I didn't really _see_ him until it was almost too late."

I watch her open evaluation of me as I speak. I meet her gaze and add meaningfully, "Even without imprinting, people fall in love, a love so strong it seems unbreakable. Don't give up on it. I guess what I'm trying to say is... well... _you_ have a choice, too."

She stares at me as I watch something change in her eyes.

"I'll be back soon," she says without acknowledging my last comment. "While you play the kind and loving Florence Nightingale, I'll be your foil, here to harass and annoy him back to wellness," she adds with a playfully evil laugh. "Thanks for the lemonade, Bella."

I watch her sail down the porch stairs and slip into her car.

She waves once.

I smile and wave back, truly hoping she'll make good on her promise.


	17. Chapter 17 A Whirlwind Summer

**Chapter 17  
A Whirlwind Summer**

True to her word, Leah was often at Jacob's house during his recovery in those early weeks of June. Her visits always went something like this:

She'd bound in the door, announcing her presence. He'd get his hackles up and insult her. She'd bite back and get him worked up over something or another. They would cuss each other out. One would leave the house in a huff. A smile always found its way onto her lips, her eyes glinting in barely controlled cheer at manufacturing his or her own leaving. I would be left to soothe Jake's ruffled feathers, though he seemed truly amused to have her around. The mental distraction had Jake healing quite quickly. It was also easier for me to keep away from the "annoying, on-the-mend, Jake" when he focused all that negative energy on Leah.

While Leah took an almost sadistic delight in harassing him, I learned how to use my own feminine wiles just by observing her in action. She and I began to develop an easy friendship. I knew she didn't think of Jake as a potential partner, so I was not at all threatened by her. Neither of us had ever had a good girl friend before. It seemed Leah and I were each as good at this foundling friendship thing as the other. We spent more and more time around one another and it became clear we were both OK with learning how to share a semi-normal friendship.

Where she was blunt and honest, I was shy and evasive. Where she shunned closeness, I forced intimacy and vice versa. It was, surprisingly, a comfortable dichotomy. Sharing that first conversation over lemonade must have allowed us both to crack a little of our protective coverings since we recognized we'd shared similar pain.

Leah often found solace for her aching heart in my presence, talking about her fears of being a genetic dead end and sharing the pack leader's theories about imprinting.

"Bella, did you know that Sam thinks we imprint to carry on the line of werewolves?"

"That makes some sense," I reply half-interestedly.

"We're supposed to imprint so we can make a bunch of new little werewolves. Survival of the species and all that, genetic override. Sam says you're drawn to the person who gives you the best chance to pass on the wolf gene."

"So?"

"Well, if the theory is correct, you and I, we don't make out to be the perfect partners for these werewolves."

"You don't know what imprinting is for, Leah," I say for both my comfort and hers. "No one does."

"Yeah, but it happens. And once it does, I haven't personally seen any werewolf withstand the irresistible pull of their imprint."

With conversations like these, she would push me to face the possibility of Jake's imprinting, and then she'd force me to consider my future without him. I certainly didn't look forward to the moods that put her on this unwanted conversational trajectory. All the same, I was truly grateful for a female perspective to all this craziness.

All summer, Jake and I push against the boundaries of our self-imposed vow of abstinence. Having hovering fathers around also isn't very conducive to intimacy. The thing is, we just can't stop kissing each other. My abhorrence at the idea of _making it_ with a 16-year-old, though, keeps me in check.

It just isn't right, even if he has this hot, 20-something bod, my stubborn mind reminds me. Probably a good thing, because my needy body certainly does nothing to stop me.

As for Jake, he never complains, seems even patiently accepting that I'm not ready. To keep himself from insanity, though, he phases to run as fast as possible to jump into the ice cold sea, or a handy, nearby river. At least, that's what Leah tells me after she momentarily phases to check in on him.

It's sort of funny, really. She is trying to watch out for me, but to save were-girl face, she keeps it under the guise of conducting an emotionless, objective love/imprint science experiment at Jake's and my expense.

In early July, I find out that Edward and the rest of the Cullens left Forks on the 19th of June. I am sad, but certainly not crazed in the way I had been the year before. Leah brought me the news when she and I were hanging out in Charlie's backyard, trying to catch some meager Washington state sun.

"I think I understand why your vamp left," Leah says, carefully broaching the subject. "He said he still loves you, right?"

I nod my head, warily, afraid of her upcoming theory.

"Edward is _me_ in your freaky, supernatural love triangle."

I start to argue, but she holds up her hand to stop me. "Stay with me here. Look, this is what I'm thinking. _You're_ Sam and _Jake_ is Emily."

I give her a withering look that says, stop now, please. She sends me a look of defiance, undaunted. I turn my face to groan into my towel. Although the back of my head faces her, my ears are still curious to hear what my friend has to say.

"Well, I _get_ Edward, because I am sort of OK with my fate now."

I'm startled and move to look at her questioningly.

"Well, you know, it's all because I have you..." she says this in a breathless, teen groupie voice, casting me a syrupy, lovey-dovey look. I grab up a handful of clover and toss it at her head. She laughs heartily.

"No, seriously, listen," she says, pulling the plant confetti from her growing locks of hair. "At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him. I just don't want to fucking stick around to watch the love story unfold. Get it? It's really shitty to be m-, _ahem, I mean,_ Edward."

"Yes, Leah," I say wearily. "That's pretty much what Edward told me up in the tent. I guess I just didn't expect him to go without saying goodbye."

"Well, it's not like you were talking to each other on a regular basis." She slides an unveiled, inquisitive look toward me. Since our lemonade conversation, we'd never really talked specifically about Edward before this.

I shake my head. No, the last time I saw and spoke to Edward was at the clearing the night Victoria nearly killed Jake.

With my one head shake, Edward and the Cullens leave Leah's list of talking points.

Always, our talks eventually settle on what the two of us want to do after summer. Both new high school graduates, we feel like we should be on the cusp of something big, but neither one of us has thought much about our future beyond July 4.

I, for one, having escaped certain death, want to do something I thought unthinkable before. I also knew from our many discussions that Leah desperately wants to break from the wolf pack. She says she wants to try yoga, maybe go to a community college to study theater or television production.

"I've got so much drama in my life, why shouldn't I make a living off of it," Leah says without bitterness one day in the garage. The car broke down and we want to go out. Jake tries to fix it while Leah and I hang around waiting for him to do just that.

"Yeah, and you can bring all your drama to something useful and even get paid for it," Jake's muffled voice comes from underneath the Rabbit.

Leah, who's crossed leg is already swinging from nervousness at voicing her dream, gives Jake's booted foot a swift kick.

Forgetting his position, Jake makes a semi-threatening movement to get up but bangs his forehead against the bottom of the car. I start up. I think he sees my feet moving toward him.

"Bella, don't freak out, I'm fine. I think I might've even deserved that," he groans as Leah chuckles. "Can I just finish this so we can go? ...And I can kick Leah's ass later?" I hear him add the latter grumpily.

I laugh lightly, and move to pull Leah from the garage. As we're walking up to the house, something condenses in my head. While we're still outdoors, I tell her what I'm thinking and the both of us come up with a crazy idea - a crazy idea that just might work.

It's the most light hearted, love and friendship filled summer I've ever spent. The last summer month comes too soon, however, and the reality of Leah's and my plan looms.

It's the first week of August

when I finally break the news to

Jake.


	18. Chapter 18 Flying High

**Ch. 18  
Flying High**

We're leaving. Leah and I.

She got into a satellite campus of the Community College of Vermont and I am on my way to register for classes at Dartmouth University. The two sites are close enough to each other that we can rent a place in between and each commute. Though, admittedly, Leah has to cross state lines.

Jake wasn't exactly happy when I brought him my news. We both cried, I suggested but disregarded a short "official" separation, and then we cursed each other out for even thinking about it. In the end, we both knew it would be easier for both of us to keep our vow of abstinence, keep him focused on finishing school, and getting him to the ripe old age of consent. In frustration and some necessity, Jake turned his mechanical skills to computers, determined to send us to school with a computer capable of video teleconferencing.

"Think of this as testing the age old sayings," suggests Leah from the backseat of Jake's Rabbit.

"Oh yeah? How's that, oh, sage one," Jake sarcastically inquires. After a summer of her interminable curiosity about lasting love matches, we'd already gotten used to Leah's random, not-so scientific hypotheses formulated to test Jake's and my feelings for each other. Sometimes it seemed like she purposely poked at the fabric of it, trying to find a weak spot in the weave to tease and worry through her never ending _experiments_.

"Does absence make the heart grow fonder. Or ..." she adds fiendishly, "Will the mouse play while the cat's away?"

"You're such a bitch, Leah," yells Jake, white knuckling the steering wheel. It never fails, she can always get a rise from him.

"Thanks," she sneers, "That's the best compliment you've paid me all summer!"

"This will be good for us," I reassure him, my hand gently rubbing his strongly muscled thigh. "I can feel it. We need this. Our feelings for one another are strong enough." I don't know exactly who I was trying to convince.

"We'll see!" sings the voice from the backseat.

"Of all the girls in all of LaPush and Forks, why her?" grumbles Jake at me. He catches my hand, though, and smiles. His one look lets me know that he's thankful I am there to help Leah heal. The pack has been really nice to me because of it, even Paul.

"Hey! I saw that!" Leah shouts. "No unspoken communication about me allowed!"

We laugh at her ranting in the backseat as we continue our way to the airport.

It takes me a while to believe that I am really getting on a plane without Jake. As sad as I am, though, it's not so hard to accept the reality. I really wasn't going to give up this opportunity handed to me by Edward when I was too stupid to realize how I'd waste away in Alaska.

Seriously, what the hell had I been thinking?

I was shocked when Renee and Charlie sat me down to tell me that I had more than my meager college fund to see me through school. They were both thrilled I'd gotten into the ivy league. I knew some strings might have been pulled on Edward's part, but I wasn't about to toss away the opportunity of a lifetime.

I was done with being an idiot.

Somehow, they'd managed between them, and to my surprise this included second-tier ballplayer, Phil, coming up with the rest of the money that would take me through Dartmouth for three full years. I figured I could manage a one year grant and some scholarships with work study to get me the rest of the way to graduation. I decided to take winter courses at the community college Leah was attending to cut down the time, not to mention money, I'd spend in Dartmouth' ivy-lined halls.

Leah was more than up for moving across country with me. She'd done all of the internet legwork to find us a place for us to live between our schools. After I'd broken the news to him, she'd even gotten Jake involved to help us learn how to work on cars and figure out the difference between a reliable used commuter and a lemon.

We were well-equipped. Excited. And happy.

I was happy, because I knew Jake would be on his way to visit on Labor Day weekend. We'd be settled by then and he'd agreed to help us make sure the cars we'd be buying were up to snuff. He also wanted to make sure we'd set up our computers properly.

Sitting on the plane now, I peer out the window trying to locate him behind the airport gate glass. I find him already watching me. I raise my hand to blow him a kiss and he throws one back at me.

I recall the very real, longing kiss he left me with at the airport gate.

My heart beats, a rough staccato.

I can still taste him on my lips as the plane leaves the runway.

I glance at my friend.

Leah's eyes are closed with anticipation.

Her smile signals peace.

My reflection, I see, mirrors her expression.

After all, how could we _not_ feel this way?

We are on our way to our future.


	19. Chapter 19 Pretty Pictures

**Ch. 19  
Pretty Pictures  
POV:** Jacob

I watch Bella search for me from her airplane window. I wave as she blows me a kiss. I make a big show of catching it, and placing it on my cheek. After the light smack I give myself, I flash her the smile I know she loves.

I can't believe she's leaving.

I can't believe she's leaving... me.

My insides sob out for her, but I refuse to let the dam break.

***

All summer, I watched her excitement grow. The mysterious anticipation, paired with her poorly hidden sadness haunted me through July. Her kisses hinted of goodbye as the month progressed. Though I didn't know what plan she and Leah were hatching, I knew it might bring me heartache, maybe worse than I'd experienced before. Cowardice kept me from asking.

On August 1, she brought me to the beach. It was dusk, our favorite time of day to gaze out to the horizon. Bella was perched on top of our fallen tree, her chin resting on her knees, hugging herself. I stood on the sand, chest against her shins, my hands on either side of her. I was contemplating the mud stains and the small rip at the knee of her jeans wondering where in the woods she'd fallen to get it.

I'd been reaching out to trace the small tear when she grabbed hold of my fingers. She pulled on them, silently bidding me to look up at her.

I caught her gaze, her eyes brimming with tears, but a smile, too.

I was very confused.

"I'm leaving, Jake." Her whispered words simply knocked the breath from me.

"What?! Why?!"

"College," she smiled. "Dartmouth! I have to go. It's not like I'm leaving you. It's not forever. It's school."

"Why can't you go to school here, IN state?" I selfishly demanded, squeezing her fingers tight as though I'd be able to convince her to stay through this little show of force. "Why across country? And you ARE! You ARE leaving me!"

I knew Edward had had a hand in this, which was driving me crazy. She watched me stifle my anger. After I calmed, she began to explain.

Her parents wanted her to go and were supporting her. I knew it was the right thing for her to do. Leah would be with her. I also knew it was a normal sacrifice that high school sweethearts went through every turn of the season. If I loved her, I'd let her go. She needed my support in this. I could see that.

But knowing it was different than living it.

"It's D-a-r-t-m-o-u-t-h, Jake," she nearly cried. "I got in. How can I not go, when I have the chance?" She stood atop the tree, now, arms widespread begging me to understand. I was afraid given her track record that she would fall backwards onto the beach. I stood, poised to catch her.

She stood solidly on her feet, though, saying without words that she needed this time, this space to fly.

Without me.

Only her.

Only Bella.

Watching her and hearing the desire and plea in her voice, I knew I had to stop my whining. I wrestled with myself to do so. I leapt up beside her, pulled her close and kissed her, hoping that my message was clear. She was mine and I'd love her, no matter how far the distance, no matter what. I felt her fingers twine in my hair and knew she understood.

Through those last weeks, I tried valiantly to hide my ache from her. But I'm not perfect, what can I say? She tried talking to me about an "official break" but I yelled at her for even thinking of it. She yelled at me right back and then got mad at herself for even suggesting it. I told her she didn't have to apologize, just not to think about it again. As the end of August drew near, I knew my heart left me with no real choice. I would wait for her, and while Bella was near, I would make every second with her count.

That being said, I spent a lot of time in the ice cold ocean and every freezing river and stream in between.

One thing was for sure, having her across country would give my libido some rest.

***

I get home from the drive back from the airport and throw myself on my bed. Something crinkles beneath me. I slip my hand behind the small of my back, catch a small piece of lined paper between my fingers, and pull it out from under me. The handwriting isn't Bella's, but is definitely feminine. Leah.

_Phase 8 p.m._

Couldn't she write in sentences instead of leaving this cryptic note? Couldn't she have just pulled me aside and told me why I should do her bidding BEFORE she got on the damn plane? That obnoxious girl annoyed me to no end. I knew, regardless, I would follow the order irritated or not.

Now, I had nearly 5 hours to while away until 8p.m.

Five whole hours of missing her.

Missing, Bella.

***

Billy's banging around the kitchen at 7:30 p.m. wakes me out of my slumber. Must've fallen asleep. I check the clock and see I have a half hour before trying to see if our werewolf mind meld will still work despite the distance. Gotta say, it was an interesting experiment for Leah to have come up with.

She had experimented about a lot of things this summer, actually. She dragged Bella around town, introducing her to other guys... lots of guys. She didn't stop at Bella. Oh no, not Leah! She brought girls around to the garage, too, whenever Bella was at work at Mike's shop. Nothing she did had Bella or me wavering from the feelings we have for one another. Whenever I caught Leah mid-experiment, I made it clear to the other guy she had in tow that Bella was hands off for them.

Sometimes it helps to exude animal masculinity and tower over most men. It didn't seem like Bella was that interested in them, anyway. This all left Leah rather confused, which served her right. Bella took it all in stride, though, laughing it off, hugging me whenever she saw my insecurities.

I grab my old sweats and head toward the forest. I tie the pants against my leg and phase. The heat of the change blasts through me and I find myself running toward the beach.

"_Jake, you there?"_ My mind hears her whisper, barely there.

I have the silly urge to think, "Leah? Leah? Come in. Leah."

There is a flicker of a smirk in the smoky thought that flashes in my mind._ "We're not on walkie talkies, dumbass."_

"What's up, Leah?" I grumble in my head.

"_Oh, just thought I'd give you a little slide show, since our computers aren't hooked up and our cell and phone service won't be working until tomorrow."_ Her words are crackly, like not being quite at the right call numbers on an a.m. radio dial. I am getting fuzzy pictures, too, nothing definite, like watching t.v. through pixelated snow.

"Seriously?"

"_Yeah, I thought I'd be nice to Bella,"_ I can sense the true friendship and care in her thoughts, while noticing she thinks nothing of being nice to me. _"Anyway, how's the reception?"_

"Not so good. Can you try to focus on just one thing? Maybe I'll be able to get a better image in my head"

"_Sure, no problem"_

The picture she sends telepathically is foggy at the edges, like one of those really old, flickering, black and white movies. I do see a tri-plex, a little lodge-like building, nestled against the entrance of a wooded area. Bella is on the porch, surrounded by boxes at her feet. She is standing near the stairs, leaning against the balustrade, sipping something and waving, a wide, excited smile on her face.

"_Got it?"_

"Yeah, thanks, Leah."

"_Thanks for letting her come."_

"Sure. Sure." Then, I felt something weird and unfamiliar...

something I never felt before.

Leah's peace and happiness.

I smile my wolf-y smile, "Goodnight, Leah."

"_Goodnight, Jake."_


	20. Chapter 20 Terabithia

**Ch. 20  
Terabithia**

Before we know it, Leah and I are welcoming in Labor Day weekend. The two other units in the building are still unoccupied. I love the Tahoe-lodge feel of the place, it reminds me of the West coast. We have run of the grounds, including the back woods. Fortunately for us, the place comes fully furnished, with plenty of storage to hide any unwanted items in the cellar.

"You can hide a body down here and no one would ever know," Leah mutters on one of the dreaded trips down the cellar stairs. "It creeps me out!"

We both avoid going down there if at all possible.

Leah and I each have our own room. She has stripped hers of almost all homey knick-knacks and decorations left by the owners. The only item she keeps intact is a three- dimensional wooden carving, about the size of my hand. It is of a falcon in flight. It is positioned near the window, hanging from the ceiling. Otherwise, walking into Leah's room is like walking into a recent HGTV room makeover. It is over-the-top fashionable complete with framed art, some of which are her own works. My room, in comparison, is utilitarian and drab in its desert earth tones. My bed is efficient, nothing fluffy or fancy, maybe a couple more pillows than one person would naturally need, and definitely no ruffles.

In the living area, the leather sofa is worn and as soft as butter. It is one of my favorite places to curl up and read. There is even an owner-supplied granny square lap blanket to pull over myself when the evenings cool. Everything seems well-loved and broken-in, nothing new, sharp or especially breakable. It is the kind of grown-up place that I always imagined I would one day have.

After lunch on Friday, I stand at the airport gate, watching Jake's plane taxi in. I feel especially satisfied with myself because I already checked off my entire to-do list and have decided to try a major psychiatry, with an emphasis in child and adolescent psychotherapy. With my to-do list done, I can dedicate all of my time to being with Jake this 3-day weekend.

I scan the line of passengers as they disembark. It doesn't take long to spot him. He stands a full head and shoulders above the rest, a backpack slung over his shoulder. His graceful, rolling gait is relaxed. His eyes eagerly search the crowd until he feels me watching him. He turns in my direction, bounds over, and throws his arms around me. I am lifted me off the ground find myself in one of his rib-cracking hugs.

Before I can breathlessly remind him about me being highly breakable, he gently clasps one large hand around me at my waist, pressing it lightly against my lower back while his other hand tangles in my now disheveled hair. I can feel his breath on my cheek and get a close-up view of my favorite smile form on his face. My eyes flutter closed as I feel his lips meet my own. The sensation of being mid-air, held close to his heat is overwhelming. All I can do is sink into the pleasure of being in the moment with Jake.

"Hey there, beautiful," he murmurs into the side of my neck, "where have you been all my life?"

I giggle, in a girlish way that I never thought I'd be able to stand hearing from myself. I realize, after just a week and a half apart, being with Jake makes me impossibly giddy. I am excited to bring him back to the house so he can see what Leah and I have done to make it home.

He makes a pleasantly rough, purr-like sound low in his chest as he feels me slide against him to place my feet back on the floor. I grab his hand and we're on our way to the car. I hope he can take a look at it and Leah's, too, for that matter, so we can be reassured we both made good buys.

***

"Oh, who brought ugly home?"

This is how Leah decides to welcome Jake. Having recently discovered the joys of yoga, she was perfectly balanced on one leg in tree pose, hands in prayer. Her only giveaway that she wasn't in meditation was having one eye cocked open beneath by her highly manicured, arched eyebrow.

"It's because she wanted a matching pair," comes Jake's wry reply, as he swiftly moves to grab her into a headlock.

I watch them tussle on Leah's eco-green yoga mat. Just as it was through summer, physical and verbal abuse seems the only way these two can be expected to show a modicum of affection towards one another. I sigh, moving into my usual role of peacemaker.

After getting pulled into the fray and then declaring my triumph, I drag Jake into the house as he's laughingly spitting out an insult towards Leah, who in return gives him a menacing grin.

He admires what he calls the "girly stuff," touching our flower vases and hung pictures of our families on his way to my room. Once there, he throws his backpack in, doesn't stop inside, but instead, heads out to the garage where Leah and I have stashed our cars.

Leah, who'd rolled up her mat and the sound of the back door, joins me as I follow him. She and I send worried looks at each other, hoping our choices are suitable. He pats my 1972 VW bug down and peers under the rear hood. Leah's 1996 Honda Civic gets the same treatment from him. He lets out sighs, grunts, some general sounds of amusement, and finally a slight growl of satisfaction. When the examinations are done, he stands and stares at the two of us. Leah's hands are on her hips, ready for a fight. My fingernails are between my teeth, but remain un-chewed.

"Ladies," Jake grins, that happy grin I love to see, and makes a grand gesture toward our automobiles, "a fine job in making your selections. There's only a couple of things I need to do this weekend to make sure they meet my standards, but otherwise, you've done well for yourselves."

"We had the best instructor," I gush as Leah shoots me a dirty look.

"Speak for yourself, Swan," she jeers. "I did _my own _homework." Jake moves between us, and pats Leah condescendingly on the top of her head.

"Good work, puppy," he says, ducking the nose-breaking blow she throws at his face. He laughs deeply as I grab his hand and move us toward the trees.

"So, what are we going to do now?" He whispers in my ear.

"I know what you're NOT going to do!" comes Leah's mocking laugh. He forgot she can hear as well as he can. "Hey, Jake! I'm thinking, just to be nice, I'll go and find you a nice cold lake to jump into later."

I roll my eyes as Jake lets out a low grumble.

"C'mon, I want to show you something!" I say brightly, trying to turn his thoughts, as I pull him into the woods.

Jake walks silently beside me, our fingers intertwine.

"It smells and feels different here," Jake whispers reverently. I nod. Most definitely.

"It's not a fir forest, first of all. Look at all the colors on the leaves."

I've brought him into a little circular clearing, that I found earlier in the week. It's not too far from home and it reminds me of the place I imagined as a girl when I read _A Bridge to Terabithia_.

Jake looks up for a long time. It's as though he's just only registering the differences between the two natural wonderlands. He finally lets out a long, low whistle and drops to sit on a fallen log. I bend to sit next to him, my head laying against his arm.

"It's beautiful here."

"It really _is_," I sigh. "I know I'm away from you, but, Jake, I really am glad I came out here."

It's Jake's turn to nod.

"I know, Bells. I'm sad because you're not at home, but it's weird, I'm happy for you, too. This is important to you, so it's important to me."

I smile up at him and he bends to steal a quick kiss. It occurs to me that despite all of the bustle and excitement of the past days, it's only now that I finally feel at home sitting next to him. I missed him more than I want to admit. It pleases me now to be able to simply look at him.

"What?" His eyes are on me, warm, amused and inquisitive.

"I've missed you," I admit. "I miss looking at you. I miss laughing with you. I miss talking to you. I miss touching you. I miss kissing you. I just... I've missed you."

I reach out to rub the stubble growing along his jawline, remembering the first night I thought I'd only dreamed of doing so.

I redden, suddenly realizing this will be the first night we'll be alone together without Billy or Charlie knocking on the doors.


	21. Chapter 21 Little Sparks of Light

**Ch 21  
Little Sparks of Light**

"Guys! Guys!"

Leah careens toward us waving her arms, a glossy postcard flapping in her grasp. We both look up, surprised by her excitement. She comes to a sudden halt, pausing only seconds to gracefully settle on the log we are on, holding the postcard out to me.

It's an invitation to attend a freshman mixer at Dartmouth, a pool party at Alumni Gymnasium, featuring dancing and an in-pool movie viewing of the old horror flick, _Jaws_. The date on the card is this evening.

"It's a federal crime to go through someone else's mail, you know," Jake states grumpily. Leah and I both ignore him.

"Leah, you know I hate parties," I sigh.

"Yes, but Bella, please!... I mean, _he's_ here," she pouts prettily, pointing disdainfully at Jake. Jake looks ready to say something, but I tighten my grip on his forearm as Leah continues, "and well..." Her look is now desperate. "Please! I just need to meet new people. How am I going to do that, if I'm stuck out in the woods with just you two? Can't you just get me in? Bella? Please?"

I look at Leah and am suddenly aware of her alone-ness. Immediately, I am ashamed I hadn't thought of how my friend might feel before inviting Jake for a visit. I see Jake's sudden recognition of the same. An silent decision is made as our eyes meet. I'll be with Jake, anyway, so, how much of a sacrifice would it really be?

I gulp.

"OK," I say, handing the postcard back to Leah, "We'll go."

"Really?!" She says with a touch of surprise. "I thought I'd have a harder fight!" She smiles widely and is ready to grab me up to go, but not before Jake is able to get a word in.

"On one condition, Leah, no experiments tonight," he warns. "Not tonight."

She holds his stare for a moment, something unspoken passes between them, and finally she gives him a nod. She then grabs my hand and the three of us are making our way back toward the house.

I am slipping on a t-shirt and shorts over my black two-piece when I realize Jake and I really hadn't done too much "dating" over the summer. We had spent a lot of time around LaPush, in his garage, on First Beach, and at his house. But between his recovery, my work, and having Leah hanging around, the last time he and I had even been somewhere as official as a movie was when we had the vomitous Mike in the back seat of the Rabbit - Jake's last day as a normal human guy. How sad! Well, tonight I plan on keeping Jake close, while snagging some lawn chairs, or a couple of inner tubes, to watch the movie, just like normal teenagers on a date.

***

The mixer turns out to be well-attended - very well attended. The pool's filled with young hot bods fooling around on inner tubes, awaiting sunset for the movie to begin. As soon as we are poolside, I lose Leah in the crowd. Jake still holds my hand, his eyes wide at the amount of students packing the place.

"I think there are more people here than there are in all of LaPush," he whispers in my ear, gawking a little at the scantily clothed people surrounding us. "This is the first place I feel overdressed."

He has on a loose fitting pair olive-colored khaki shorts. His dark silken hair is tied back simply with one leather string. His grey, fitted t-shirt does little to hide his impressive physique, a detail many of my female counterparts do not fail to notice.

I shoot threatening glares at a pair of brunettes who are batting their eyelashes and flirtatiously tossing their hair trying to attract Jake's attention. I tighten my hand in his. Fortunately, his eyes are on the architecture and not on the ladies. Maybe his warning to prevent Leah from doing any anti-love experiments today is going to be useful after all.

Once past the invitation checkers, I pull him to a quieter part of the party area, a DJ is playing some tunes, but the dancing hasn't started up yet. I'm very conscious of the spectacle Jake is making. His height and his dark looks has both guys and girls curiously glancing his way. I never really had to share him outside of home before, and I don't recognize the wave of possessiveness that threatens to overwhelm me.

We're at the edge of the outdoor basketball court. I face Jake, lean back, my palms flat against the gymnasium's brick-lined wall. He smiles and I smile in return. He quickly glances around. Strangers' heads swivel, pretending to look at anything else but us. Jake looks at me, and gives a small nervous laugh. Suddenly he's cocking his head as if listening to the words of the song that I am not paying any attention to.

"Everyone's watching," he whispers, a little embarrassed.

"I know," I say putting my arms loosely around his waist. His shoulders are too high for me to comfortably rest my arms there. He pulls me in close, causing me to miss the mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Then, why don't we give them something to watch?" His tone holds a certain male seductiveness that I hadn't heard from him before. Maybe it's the catalyst of all these pretty people staring at my boyfriend that allows me to pick up the subtle change in his voice.

"What do y..."

Suddenly, I feel my toes lift off the ground. I let out a surprised squeak. And as though I am as light as a feather, Jake keeps me tightly against him, lifted just an inch as he strides a few yards to place us smack in the center of the dance floor. I start to pull away, but he keeps me tethered.

"I'm going to kill you," I hiss the threat. A fake smile barely covers my clenched teeth.

"Trust me," he says unaffected, his hot breath ruffles the hair at the top of my head. "Close your eyes if you have to, Bells. Just listen to the music and follow my lead." He places my hands around his waist. I feel his hands go around mine.

My eyelids drift shut. There is no way I am going to be eye witness to the vision of my two left feet and the mocking eyes of the few who are watching. I am determined to dance, no matter how awkward I feel, if only to show these girls around me that Jake belongs to me. So, I close my eyes and listen. A soft smile forms as I hear the singer's throaty, heartfelt words.

_...Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes  
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise  
I'm by your side  
_

_Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me...._

"My sister was always playing this song the summer before she left for school," Jake tells me, lost in thought. "I wonder what it meant to her."

We're both listening now. It's _Hey There Delilah_ by the Plain White T's.

_A thousand miles seems pretty far  
But they've got planes and trains and cars  
I'd walk to you if I had no other way  
Our friends would all make fun of us  
and we'll just laugh along because we know  
That none of them have felt this way...._

I feel Jake's hold tighten as I press my profile against the beating of his heart, my right hand makes a slow slide up his chest, intent to loosely hold around his neck. He takes it before it reaches its destination. Captured, he holds our hands between us.

"It sure means a lot more to me now," he somberly adds. I feel his strong heartbeat beneath our clasped hands. I open my eyes and look up into his, warm with love... for me.

I feel his other hand move to the small of my back, and instinctively I move to rest my palm on his tricep. With just this minor adjustment, my body immediately responds to his masterful lead, steering me as he desires to the left or right. I am amazed at what I am able to do in his arms.

I wonder at his refusal to be Alpha, clearly he's good at this leading thing. I am wondrous that our feet move without getting tangled. _Where had he learned to do this?_ He smiles down at my surprised expression, gliding us effortlessly around the floor, not something usually done during collegiate slow dances, or to a song like this one, but somehow it all seems absolutely natural for him to do so with me.

From the corner of my eye, I see we've gathered a bit of an audience. I spy the envious glances of the girls, the impressed looks from the guys. I even see Leah's curiosity showing itself as outward gawking. I watch as she pulls a random, but hot, guy onto the floor. At my next turn, I see she's dancing with him at the other end of the room.

I smile at her steamrolling, and the surprised look on her partner's handsome face. She's leading him! I giggle, then promptly forget where we are as Jake draws my attention back to him. I realize he's moved me so that I am resting some of my weight against him, but we're still dancing. I feel the rippling muscle movement in his thigh against mine as he wordlessly guides me to follow. I become completely oblivious to the crowd. It's entrancing, the two of us together, moving as though we belong only with one another.

In his strong, capable arms, I am for once not klutzy and awkward, but actually graceful. With his look, I feel loved. His body, confident, supple, and warm against mine reminds me I am human, that I am living the consequences of my summer's choice. I am pleased and proud that my heart still beats, thanks to Jake.

_...You be good and don't you miss me  
Two more years and you'll be done with school  
And I'll be making history like I do  
You'll know it's all because of you  
We can do whatever we want to..._

I am startled that the singer's words echo the ones I left Jake with at the airport back at home nearly two weeks ago.

_This one's for you  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me..._

I smile against him as the song comes to its end.

"We've never danced before," I say softly as we stop our sensuous sway. We unlock to hold hands, standing side-by-side. I am looking up at him. "I didn't know you could do it so well!"

"I have a lot of sisters," he replies with a shrug. "I bet you can guess who got to be the prince in all of their make believe princess games? Each game ended with a Beauty and the Beast ballroom scene," he recalls, a faraway look in his eyes.

He halts a second, then turns to wiggle his eyebrows at me. It takes me a moment to also find amusement in the unexpected metaphor. "Anyway, they were taskmaster dance instructors. Dad was their teacher before the car crash," he sighs. "Anyway, I wasn't allowed to bungle up their dances. I got so good that I was maneuvering around furniture, spinning and dipping them. It was great fun to be in control of my big sisters for once. Rachel said that I'd thank her for teaching me how to dance one day. I guess I'll have to remember to do that."

"I guess I'll have to thank her, too," I say with a smile. "I could never be that graceful alone." In fact, I'm so caught up in Jake that I barely even realize we're moving off the dance floor, and making our way poolside where the movie is starting. As we leave the court I do notice that we seem to have encouraged people onto the dance floor where livelier tunes have taken the place of love songs.

We find a clear spot. Jake lets go of me to pull over a lounge chair. I don't expect the release and nearly topple over into the pool. Jake, with superhuman speed, grasps my arm just as I lose balance. I am amazed at his gentle touch, despite the quick reflexes. I expected a firmer grip. He gives me a tight smile as I look from his fingers on my arm, up to his face.

"Be careful, Bells."

I nod, shamefaced. He bends to sit on the chair, opening his arms to me and I sit down, my back rests against his chest. I feel his arms wrap around me, his fingers entertwine with mine. I'm engulfed in his warmth. We settle in to watch the movie.

It's perfectly awful.

The movie, I mean.

Feeling the length of Jake's body against mine was an entirely different matter. To say the least, it was extremely distracting. Nevertheless, we laugh together. I hear his lovely baritone bark break free of him when he does. I feel his muscles tense around me as we freak out and scream with everyone else around us when the shark finally attacks. He rests the side of his head against mine and it feels absolutely wonderful to be this way.

Mid-movie, I spot Leah in her bright sunset orange string bikini, lounging in an inner tube at the deep end of the pool. I nudge Jake, motioning with my chin towards her. He grunts when he catches sight of her laughing, her head thrown back in mirth at something one of her companions says. True to form, Leah surrounds herself with some of the handsomest hunks in the place. She grabs on to the nearest musclebound arm whenever the familiar menacing shark music plays. I enjoy watching her antics even more than watching the movie.

It occurs to me that for a Dartmouth mixer, I am doing very little mixing. At the movie's end, Leah and her most ardent admirers make their way over to us.

"Hey, you two," she says with a sultry swish of her hips. She tosses her hair, now shoulder length, since she kept her phasing to only a couple times a week during her running workouts. The men around Leah look about ready to swoon. "We were all wondering if you were ready to skip out on the rest of the festivities and go."

I cock an eyebrow. _All of them? To our place?_ Was she nuts? She doesn't even know them! She catches my look and Jake's must have been even more infuriated because she quickly amends her request.

"These guys know a nice place to go get coffee and dessert."

"Sure, Leah," I say, with an apologetic glance Jake's way. "Can we walk?"

The guys nod. We still haven't heard their names, which appears to be no accident, since Leah's not calling anyone by name, except for me. I roll my eyes at her back, but indulge her because, well, she really needs this. She's having fun and I'm having fun just being with Jake.

In short order, Jake and I learn that Leah's brand of fun is torturing these lovesick fellows. Her teasing feminine laugh and flirtatious movements combined with her tough talk has the guys around her, with one exception, hanging on her every word. One particularly funny moment occurs when she moves an inch back in her chair. In near unison, all of the boys stand to assist her. She exclaims at what gentlemen she's found, laughing that she was just getting herself comfortable, and for them to "settle down."

Two hours, twelve lattes, some ice cream, a plate of cake, and a few lemon tarts later, the crowd Leah came in with whittles down to three, not including Jake and myself. It turns out that the remaining are James: tall, dark, and brooding, Isaac: blond athletic type, and Ronald: bookish redhead. They live on campus, are roommates, and have only known each other a couple of weeks.

Leah offers our services to walk them back to campus, ignoring Jake's overlong glare. The boys, however, aren't as unaffected.

"I think..." starts one, with an eye at Jake's scowl.

"We''ll just.." says another and stops mid-sentence seeing Jake's bicep flex.

"It's ok, we'll walk," they finish together as Jake stands up, towering above them to give a nice show of a good stretch and yawn.

I stifle a giggle in a napkin that I'd snatched up during the stammering session.

Leah, sends Jake an annoyed glare. I am simply thankful we're leaving. I'd already had my fill of dessert and coffee, as did Jake, who wolfed down several of both. I watch Leah take down their digits. Her purse is filled with numbers. It must be amazing to feel that kind of feminine power, I muse to myself.

As soon as we are out the door, the last of summer's sultry air swathes our skin. The heaviness of it lingers in the air as we make our way back to the car. Leah's still pouting, but is triumphant at the night's events.

"It's as though they've never seen a girl before," she exclaims, half to herself.

"Not like you, anyway," I add with a smile. "You're beautiful Leah, you know."

"Stop telling her that," warns Jake. "That stuff goes straight to her head."

"It's OK, Jake," she says with a sly smile and whispers something that has him turning red and clenching his teeth against some unexplained embarrassed anger.

Leah's laugh tinkles and I decide I don't want to know what she said to Jake.

The ride home is otherwise uneventful. As soon as we pull into the driveway, Leah tells us she's going for a run. Her mood is one of exhilaration. Jake and I are alone on the porch.

"Well," I say clearing my throat.

"Hmmm?"

"So what do you want to do?"

"Bells," Jake says distractedly, "What are those?!"

I follow his pointing finger and it leads me to what seems like hundreds of little flashing lights. Whoa, I think, what are they?! Is it magic?

"I honestly don't know!" I exclaim.

Jake moves over toward the lights and they disperse, moving away from his body. A memory of something I read in a book flashes in my mind. You never see these in Washington state!

"Jake!" I shout excitedly, "They're fireflies! Don't move! Don't scare them away!"

I run into the house, trip on the carpet runner, and skid toward the kitchen. I look into our recycling and fish out an empty jam jar.

"Hey, Bells, are you serious about me not moving?" I hear Jake yelling from his stationary spot in the yard. It's clear he hasn't moved an inch. "Uh, one landed on me. I don't really like insects. Bells? Do they bite?... Bells?" I chuckle to myself as I hear him let out a little helpless yelp.

"I'm coming!" I yell at him as I punch a couple of small air holes on the jar lid. I rush toward him and hand him the jar. "OK, wolf-guy, catch a few!"

I have a whooping good time guiding the fireflies toward Jake who adeptly captures a bunch. He affixes the cover and grins holding up a mini-lantern.

"How cool!" I breathe, amazed at the beauty in his hand.

"Let's bring them inside," Jake says.

We step into the darkened house and make our way to my room. He places our firefly lantern on the bedside table. It casts a small glow in my bedroom, no tiny with Jake filling it. I am suddenly aware of him. His proximity to me has all my senses tingling. I watch his large hand slowly approach my face. The words he's saying caress my skin.

"Bella, today has been just...." Jake touches a stubborn tendril of hair that refuses to stay off my face. He slides it up and away from my eyes as he finishes his thought, "just amazing. It's very close to being in the top two of the top 10 best times with Bella category."

"I know," I say, suddenly, surprisingly nervous. "Today, with you, it was the same for me, just perfect, Jake." I slide, self-consciously out of the intimate space he's created to pace restlessly around the room and finally toward the dresser to take out a pajama tank top and loose pajama bottoms. I hold them in my hand as Jake draws near. My breath catches as I feel his heated breath against my cheek.

"I want to kiss you, Bella."

My mind warns me that I am not ready for whatever might come after the kind of kiss he seems to want. So, instead of giving into my earlier feelings, I offer him a playful peck on the lips and swat him with my pj's. I hear his sound of disappointment as I move to the far end of my room, unexpectedly shy.

"I need to change," I say, waiting. He's not moving to go. Instead, he stares back at me. "Jake, I need to change," I say, a little more emphatically.

He must have heard me this time. He begins walking, but he's going the wrong way. I watch his approach nervously. He comes within touching distance, but doesn't touch. I feel the heat of his breath glance across my cheek.

"Will you let me kiss you, Bella?" His request, a raspy whisper.

The fireflies continue to add a magical glow in the room. I feel his presence more than I can see him. I watch his chest rise and fall, my eyes roam further up to the V at his throat. It pulses to the steady drumbeat of his heart.

It's night, I realize, long after all of the other times we've ever been alone together. I find I can't speak. I think about each of the times over the last two months that we've even come close to this sort of intimacy. It was rare, maybe twice, and each of those times we were within discovery distance of someone who could walk in on us. The boundaries at home were clear, the safety nets were well placed. Charlie and Billy were valiant guardians of our innocence.

The simple knowing that there's no one to stop us now has me frozen in my tracks. I realize I can tease and play at practicing my feminine wiles on Jake, but now, when I have the opportunity to pay the piper, it - this- was proving to be way too much. I want to share my whole self with him. Yes, I do, very desperately, in fact. But since I never have with anyone else, including, and especially with Edward who I realize now could've killed me in the process, I'm scared out of my wits. Voicelessly, I shake my head, no.

His quizzical stare has me looking lamely down at my hands, twisting my blue tank top around and around my fists.

"Bella, I won't hurt you." His hands reach out, but his fingers don't quite make contact, unsure of my tentativeness.

_I know,_ I think. _That's just it. I might hurt myself if I let this happen. Am I ready? There wouldn't be any stopping,_ _if there was any starting. I don't think I am - ready, that is. After all, Leah and I are just getting started out here. And if Jake and I did give into this lust for the first time, how will I ever bear letting him leave on Monday?_

I hesitate. He notices that I've stilled.

"Hmmm?" he hums playfully, "Shall we double check?" His teasing smile reaches his eyes and beckons me to return to innocent foreplay. I sigh, relieved.

"Oh, I don't know" I toss off with a devil-may-care smile over my shoulder. "I doubt you can convince me otherwise."

He lets out a little growl and I am swiftly swept up into his arms. My pj's drop from my hands and onto the floor.

His lips are fierce on mine. This wasn't the kind of teasing kiss I'd had in mind when I heard his playful words.

Fire and heat. How can it be that he makes me feel this way? How can it be that this inferno can be controlled and banked whenever we are joking with and teasing one another. And then, when we're like this, it unbelievably bursts into brilliant sparks of light. His masculinity calls out to my femininity. My heart leaps and its furious staccato beat matches his, leaving me breathless. My mouth opens to take in some air and I simultaneously feel Jake's mouth open beneath mine, deepening our kiss.

I feel the surprising coolness of his tongue. He caresses my lips and the roof of my mouth with it. I taste him, too, still sweet and bitter from the chocolate ice cream he'd eaten and the coffee he'd had. I feel his fingers tangle in my hair and I stroke my hands up his back. His muscles bunch beneath my palms at each pass. I am amazed at my ability to affect his breath, his heartbeat, his entire being.

I feel his hands glide down my own back, going over the little, mid-way speed bump created by my bra enclosure. I let a murmur of pleasure escape me as I feel him kneading my lower back, his hands finally coming to rest at the curve of my waist. His hands start a slow, languorous glide upward.

I love the magical glow of this seemingly never-ending kiss. I am comforted to feel from him his utter contentment with just this. His head angles and mine falls against him. I find I am looking upward, my temple nearly touching his shoulder as I succumb to his onslaught of passion. I am intoxicated.

At this point in all the movies I've seen, the music would begin to swell as hands would begin relentlessly tearing off clothes. Instead, for us, an insistent ringing finally reaches me through my desirous haze. I want it to cease so I can focus on Jake and what he's doing to make my brain stop working and my body concentrate only on responding.

I swat my hand forcefully toward the sound. My unexpected, rough movement catches Jake unaware and he teeters, causing my clumsiness to take over. We both fall headlong onto the waiting bed. I land on top of him. His eyes widen, a pleased smile twitches at his lips as he moves to adjust to my weight.

When I recover from the unexpected fall, I am still breathless and the ringing hasn't stopped. I swivel to find its source.

Oh!

Phone!

My brain finally registers. At 1 a.m.??

Oh no?! What's wrong? I put the receiver to my ear, worried by the news I might be greeted with.

"Hi, Bella," Charlie's voice was overly bright for 10 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. I scramble off of Jake as though my dad just entered the room.

"Hi, dad, are you alright?" I ask, worried, pacing, feeling Jake follow me with his eyes as he reclines against my four pillows.

"Yes, Oh! I forgot about the time difference! I'm sorry if I woke you." I discover Charlie's a really bad actor. I roll my eyes at Jake, who's now off the bed, picking up his own cell, which had been vibrating silently in his backpack.

"It's OK, dad," I say, faking a slight sleepy slur. "Leah, Jake, and I went to a student mixer at Dartmouth."

"Oh, I'm just calling to see how Jake got in," he adds cautiously. "I hope you _kids_ have a great time." His emphasis on the word "kids" set my teeth on edge.

"We did. It was fun," I say, this time with an unmanufactured yawn. "You know, I'm beat, dad, Can I call you in the morning?" I can hear Billy's voice greeting Jake, through my dad's end of the receiver. _Hmmmm...._

"Of course, Bella, I'm sorry I woke you. I just want you to know how proud I am of all your accomplishments." His words served as a not so subtle reminder of how much I'd be risking if I had to deal with any unforeseen challenges caused by giving into the temptation of one night alone with the boy I love. It was a sneaky maneuver from Charlie, and most definitely an effectively sobering one.

Hanging up the phone, I realize that while I might have earlier recognized the significant absence of a father's interrupting knock on the bedroom door, I'd simply never experienced the guilt-inducing power of a parent's spoken word over the telephone.

I sit on the edge of the bed, and send Jake a weak smile. I know exactly what's going on across the room where he's cradling his cell phone between head and shoulder talking to Billy. Our eyes meet and we realize this whole phone invasion had been planned all along, probably devised during an afternoon fishing trip.

"Sure. Sure." I hear Jake say, shaking his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes. "Leah scouted the trails in the back woods already."

He says his goodbyes, thrusting his fingers through his hair, only to have a stubborn dark lock fall onto his face again. He stands astride me to place the cell on the table by our makeshift lantern. With that small chore done, he bends to glide a caressing palm against my jawline.

"I'm going for a run, Bella," he whispers.

I nod, staring into his eyes, silently pleading with him to return to where we had been before our dads' calls.

"I love you," he says softly, moving his hand, running his fingers through my hair, cradling the back of my neck, gently tilting my face up to look at him. "And because I do, I'm going to do the right thing. We're not going to screw up your life - our lives - by letting our raging hormones do our thinking tonight." His sigh is a frustrated one. His words clearly echoing Billy's words. "Now...well... Now's not the right time for that. We... we have forever to work on getting there."

"No, Jake," I say instinctively, "not forever..."

I see a flash of hurt in Jake's eyes.


	22. Chapter 22 New Neighbors

**Ch. 22   
New Neighbors**

He looks incredulously at me. I see a little anger along with the unintended pain. Clearly, he's forgotten, unable to understand the meaning of my little outburst. I grab his hand, which has stilled on my cheek.

"I don't want _forever_, Jake, remember?" I prompt.

I close my fingers around his, tug his hand down and flatten his palm against my chest. He feels the strong, steady beat there. I see the understanding dawning in his eyes. The worrying crease between his brows relaxes. He grins and nods, bending to touch his forehead to mine.

"It's going to be great, Bells, when we're together in the way we want to be. It'll be amazing."

I nod, knowing the truth spoken in his words as hand regretfully slips from my grasp. I watch him walk out the door, hear Leah come in and hear their muffled short exchange outside in the hall. A quick knock at my bedroom door has me looking up at Leah who is framed in the doorway.

"Why'd you send lover boy away," she asks sarcastically, unable to keep the curiosity from her voice.

"Billy and Charlie called." I look at her meaningfully. She catches my drift about how untimely the calls had been.

"Oh, poor, Jake! Sheesh! I thought my mom was tough." She throws herself uninvited onto my bed, hugging a pillow to herself, she's holding back now, trying not to laugh. She snorts, no longer able to hold in her amusement.

"You know," she's now trying to say between peals of laughter, "I was only messing around about finding that cold lake for him." Finally able to say coming up for air, she is able to sputter, "He actually asked me if I'd found one." She tries desperately to calm herself down, but when she catches my annoyed, but somewhat amused look, she can't help but dissolve into gut-busting, shoulder-shaking laughter again.

When her dance with hilarity subsides, Leah finally turns to me to ask, "You know, Bella, Billy and Charlie aren't here. What's _really_ stopping you?"

I duck my head, embarrassed that I actually feel the need to talk to Leah about this.

"Leah..." I start uncomfortably. "Have you ever.... um...With Sam, did you..."

"Are you wondering if I'm still a virgin?" Leah asks cutting through my clear discomfort. Her gaze is on the ceiling. She turns her head to look at me and I nod. She returns my nod slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. I can't hide the shock on my face.

"I know, right?" She laughs lightly. "LaPush is small, Bella, my mom was on me like white on rice. Even though Sam and I were as close as we were, we never..... we came close a couple of times... but..." she sighs. "I mean, can you imagine? If we had? I'd be going just about crazy, out of my mind right now with the whole imprinting on my cousin thing." She shakes her head. "Thank goodness for my mom!"

"You mean that whole thing at home wasn't even the full extent of your craziness?" I ask honestly flabbergasted. I find myself greeted with a face full of pillow. I gasp, then, laughingly continue, "Seriously, though I... I don't know what to say. I didn't think anyone, who wasn't in love with a vampire, still carried her v-card after high school graduation."

"Yeah, well, tell THAT to most of the girls I know. Some of us non-leech lovers are actually proud v-card carrying members," she smiles. "But really, Bella, maybe it's more of a self-protection thing than anything else."

"Protection from a broken heart?"

She's silent for a moment. Her mouth twists into a slight scowl.

"Yeah, well, that didn't work out so well for me," she ruefully admits. "Sometimes, I think if Sam and I had made love, I could have shown him how much...." she chokes a little. "That he'd still be with me, but that's just plain stupid thinking. Sex is something else, I think, Bella. But you're free and so is Jake, so, why not?"

"How about, I believe I'll go to hell if I'm not married?"

She casts me an incredulous look. "Uhm, you're not exactly Christian and I think you've encountered lot a lot scarier stuff than Satan here in this lifetime."

I laugh, thinking about my brief encounter with the undead. I mean, really, could I truly discount the existence of heaven and hell, now?

"I don't know...well... I kind of do have another reason. It's going to sound dumb, but... Jake's younger than me. He's only 16!"

She snorts.

"Yeah? Well, he doesn't look it." Her response is one of reluctant admiration.

"Mentally he is, though, Leah," I say, "and, then there's that whole imprint thing. Damn!"

"Yeah, damn imprinting, is right." We sit in silence, not able to talk about it tonight. She eases herself off the bed, pleading a shower, and leaves the room.

All is silent.

Alone, I contemplate the firefly lantern a minute before I finally get up to change and get ready for bed.

I'm half-asleep when I hear Jake come into the room. My eyes are closed, but I know he's doing something that takes him away for a few minutes. His return is signaled by the bend of the mattress under his full weight.

I feel him smooth the hair from my neck, where he plants a surprisingly cool kiss. That must have been one really cold lake, I think sleepily. He gathers me up and I am enveloped by his body heat. I'm going to have to start wearing shorts to bed, I think idly. He immediately starts snoring lightly beside me and I fade out, too.

A warm sunbeam on my cheek and a tropical breeze wake me. I realize I am half-hanging off my twin-sized mattress. Jake lies on his back, his body is spread eagle next to me, taking up all the space my extra long twin size can afford. He rubs his rough cheek against my bare shoulder. I smile as in his sleep he finds the hollow between my shoulder and jaw where he rests his chin. His hot breath tickles my ear. That explains the breeze.

He moves onto his side, spooning me, pulling me into him and back to the center of the bed. Our legs intertwine. I feel the heated line of his body against mine, from the smoothness of his bare chest and the softness of his grey sweatpants cutoffs, to the roughness of his bare feet. There must be precious little in his backpack on the floor in the manner of clothes, I think absently.

I move my head slowly to face him. He hasn't yet awakened. I'm tempted to reach out and touch him, his strong facial features, his hair, but I lay awake content to hear him breathing. His lashes rest, thick and black, against his russet colored cheek, his eyelids flutter in a dream state. I hear the murmur of my name in his throat, a deep, satisfying sound as he snuggles me closer, his heavy arm and its gentle hand grip possessively around me.

As I watch him sleeping, I lazily recall our lantern and I move a little too quickly to see how the fireflies are doing. The cover is unscrewed, laying beside the empty glass jar. I hear Jake rustle beside me, catching my confused movements.

"I released them last night before coming to bed," he explains, his voice rough and gravely from sleep. His eyes are still closed as he quietly adds, "They needed to be free."

I nestle back into his embrace, surprisingly touched by his thoughtfulness, willing this moment with him never to end. I kiss him lightly under his chin and close my eyes again, listening to his heart beating.

***

And so it is during his visit, Jake finds every cold lake and stream discovered by laughing Leah during his second day in town. The intrusion of our fathers' regular goodnight calls before we head off to sleep serve as a douse of cold water on any amorous intentions we might have entertained earlier in the day. When I'm studying, surrounded by my highlighters, texts and notebooks, he's outside tinkering on our cars or finishing the set up of our computers. Gotta say, it's really nice having him around here for that kind of stuff. I take study breaks to sit near him, hand him tools, bring him something to drink, or to just absently run my hand along the muscles at his back.

We kiss. A lot.

He likes to hide my highlighters, mostly because he woke up after one afternoon nap with pen marks all over his face, looking like a native warrior. I swear up and down it was Leah's doing as I go on an Easter egg hunt around the house for my neon colored markers. She laughingly denies it all.

We help Leah through her city college orientation and the three of us work through a top 10 Things To Do in the Dartmouth-Sunapee Region list we find on the internet.

By Sunday night, it feels like Jake already has a set after-hours pattern. An hour after dinner, as Leah is finishing her workout, Jake is out the door to "cool off" before coming back to the room to crash from pure exhaustion. He does, though, take the time to gather me in his arms and whisper goodnight before dropping off into deep slumber.

Needless to say, I am disappointed, but amused, and somewhat thankful for the consistency of our fathers' efforts to keep Jacob and me honest during his visit.

By late Monday afternoon, Jake decides to take a Super Shuttle to the airport. He's taking the red-eye back to Washington. It's easier on all of us. We say our farewells in the comfort of the house rather than have me driving home morose and tear stained, a hazard to all on the road.

After I watch the shuttle pull away, I wander around the living room. My fingers linger on the frame of a picture Leah took of Jake and me on the porch. It's my favorite. She took snapped it on the first day of his arrival, right before we headed off to the student mixer. It is a profile shot of the both of us, with eyes only for one another.

Leah, on her yoga mat, makes faces at me when I straighten the photo on the stone fireplace mantel.

"I meant for that to be a _personal_ momento," she snips, coming out of downward dog and into her last few poses of her workout. "Why do I have to be subjected to the happy couple whenever I walk in here? Can't you put that in your room?"

"I thought yoga was supposed to bring you peace and tranquility," I question serenely, ignoring her protestations.

She shoots me an exasperated look from her cross-legged position, then exaggerates a gagging reflex, telling me noisily how queasy she'll get if I leave the photo on the mantle.

I turn to admire the picture again, can't help but noticing in my peripheral vision that she flushes with pride when I lift the frame to look more closely at Jake and me together. I make a quiet mention about how her shot was skillfully made and turn just quickly enough to see the flicker of a proud smile find its way between her scowls.

Leah and I jump a little at the sudden sound of a U-Haul truck scattering gravel in the driveway. She quickly ends her workout to leap onto the couch and peer through the front windows. She lets out a long appreciative whistle. She catches my eye, cocks an eyebrow and sends me the universal girlfriend-to-girlfriend "you've got to get a look at this mighty fine specimen of man right here" kind of look.

Curious, I kneel on the couch beside her and stare. He's at least an inch taller than Jake. From the looks of his skin-tight, Banana Republic, black T-shirt, he's got 6-pack abs and handsome pecs. His blond hair glints golden in the sun and is just long enough to show a wave in it. His profile is heavenly. And...

_Oh!_

He's also in possession of some highly amused emerald green eyes.

"Leah, wave! He's looking at us!"

Both Leah and I send off a sheepish wave. He turns to fully face the window. From beside me, I hear an unmistakable intake of breath, followed by an audible gulp. I dare to glance Leah's way and she looks...well... absolutely shell-shocked. I turn my face to look at mystery guy who's hand, which he'd been raising to return our wave, is caught in mid-air. He's frozen in place, too, staring as though suddenly struck with awe at my friend.

Leah is as still as a statue beside me, and I wonder...could it be?

"Leah," I whisper, "are you OK?"

She nods, but doesn't spare a glance my way. Her eyes are all for _him_.

Before I can question her some more, I notice another figure emerge from the back of the van. This one is tall, nearly as tall as Leah, with the lithe, lean muscular build of a dancer. Her hair is shampoo commercial worthy. It bounces lightly, golden blonde, streaked with highlights, cascading past her shoulders in an abundance of waves. Her eyes are equally gemstone green. There is something ethereal about her. With the face of an angel, she looks just like the man, except hers is distinctly, gorgeously feminine. While his look is one of quiet strength, on hers she wears a more knowing, feline smile.

I absolutely despise her the moment I set eyes on her. I move my gaze back to both Leah and mystery guy, still rooted to their spots, still staring. I for one can't stomach looking at mystery girl. A random thought pops into my head:

Maybe there's something equally powerful, but opposite in force to the seemingly no longer rare legend of the imprint.


	23. Chapter 23 Don't Talk

**Ch. 23  
Don't Talk**

_POV: Mystery Girl_

I watch my twin brother, Stefan, suddenly halt in his tasks. His stare is fixed on what can only be one thing. Actually, only one...person.

I've seen this before, so I follow his stupefied gaze to the triplex's front window.

I take quick survey.

He's entranced by...

_hmmmm... which one? _

One of the young women moves to stare hard at the other. Ah, so it is the lovely dark haired beauty beside the befuddled one.

This is the _next_ one, then.

This almond-eyed girl has Stefan captured in her dark, unblinking gaze. Her hold on him seems threatening. So threatening as to afford her the power to make my brother her_ thrall unna_?

How often will this happen to poor, Stefan?

Twice already seems too often enough.

At least he will soon be on an airplane to the west coast where he will be doing what he has long desired... an archaeological study of the native cultures of the America's northwest.

I move to gently lay a hand on his arm, breaking his trance.

"Do not let her hear your voice, brother," I warn, moving closer. "If you do, as you know, she will have the power to etch her mark onto your soul."

I know with his special talent it will not be too difficult for him to avoid this welcome loophole to the ancient curse. I stop to appraise her again, adding, "There is something about this one. It disturbs me, the way she looks at you and your inability to break this hold. We both know you are not so strong as to withstand the power of a woman such as her this time."

He finally turns to me.

The look in his eyes breaks my heart.

They hold a helplessness in them that I have not seen for many years.

* * *

_Note: In response to reviews that were received complaining (and rightfully so!) that this story was hastily ended, I have fleshed out the OC story (at least the one with Stefan and Leah) in the sister story to this one: The Choices We Make - Leah's story. It's a different POV of the same time frame and same AU that I've developed here in Just One Kiss. _

_Choices is a Callwater fic and Jake has a strong role in it while Bella has some cameos. So check my profile if you're interested! :) I hope you choose to check it out._

_Happy reading!_

_** Apologies again for short shifting this one - I had work I needed to get to and couldn't have this story undone, hanging over my head. I will come back to clean it up and make it read better (and clean up typos, etc.) when I have more time._


	24. Chapter 24 Just One Look

**Ch.24**

**Just One Look**

_POV: Leah_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I wrench my gaze away from his for only a moment. Doing so is surprisingly painful. I grab at my chest and look up to find Bella staring at me open-mouthed.

"What?!" I snap at her, my face turning quickly back to his to avoid the searing pain at the center of my being.

"You know the answer to that question better than I do!" Bella shouts back at me, "what's happened, Leah?"

"I feel a force, coming from _him_," I say with shock in my voice, lifting a finger to point outside.

"What are you now, a Jedi?" Bella asks sarcastically.

"Hardy har har, wolf lover," I sneer back at her, unable to fully break the lock without piercing pain. "_Something's_ happening, but I'm not sure exactly what." I see the question in Bella's face and don't want to hear her next words.

"Did you imprint?"

"That _can't_ happen to me, remember?" I insolently respond.

"You don't know that," says Bella sounding as exasperated as I feel. I stare at her, unwilling to be convinced. She continues, "If what you're saying is true, then why did you just stop breathing for a minute?"

I dare to defy the pain of not looking at him again and look, instead, at Bella's wide smile. I can't stand the satisfied smile snaking its way onto her face. Nor can I withstand the visceral need to look at him again.

"So, Leah," Bella teases, "why is it that you can't stop staring at him?"

"If you haven't noticed, he is _fine!_" I breathe, not needing to pretend a swoon. Then, without moving my eyes, I turn the accusation onto her, "Besides, you haven't stopped looking at him, either!"

This flusters Bella as she denies still looking. It gives me enough time to will myself to tear my gaze away while quickly trying to examine just exactly what is happening. I use this time to replay the last three minutes of my life.

I met his gaze, a shiver of awareness runs through me, like when I phase, except cooler. The feeling's not red hot, but is instead a pleasing, lovely rose-colored hue. It's a feeling I want to hold onto for... well... for forever. Then, _wham!_ everything suddenly clicks into place.

I refuse to accept this. I can't have imprinted. Girl-wolves can't imprint. But then again, my mere existence already breaks all the rules. If the centuries hold the truth, then why am I even here? There are no other female werewolves, but me!

This is so unacceptable, so like my life.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

I like who I am now. I want to know the person I'll become when left by myself. I don't need an imprint.

That's it, then, I decide. I'm going to fight this... whatever the hell it is.

I hear Bella still blathering on about what a stubborn ass I am and to just admit I've imprinted.

"You haven't even moved, yet," she's sputtering, her hands making strong gestures toward the U-Haul outside. "Neither has he."

I steal a glance at him, again. The pain in my head releases. With just this one look at him, the peace and tranquility I search for in yoga is finally mine. I watch the girl next to him place a hand on his forearm and the stupor I've been in since setting eyes on his face is suddenly gone. I feel he's broken the connection with me. This allows me a little painless breathing room.

I stop a moment, realizing I feel lighter. I reach within, searching for the familiar and oddly comforting pain that I carry over Sam and Emily's pairing.

It's gone.

GONE!

I shake my head incredulously.

No one guy should ever be able to do this to me! This is just wrong. I _need_ that pain. It grounds me.

_Of course, _I think wryly to myself_, it would have to be through something like this that I finally come to accept that my heartbreak is a part of me. It has, after all, made me who I am, and has helped me get this far._

What is this _imprint_ about? Is this what I truly desire for myself? Is this what I yearned for as I watched the other members of the pack discover their other halves?

I discover I desire this... this perfect stranger... so desperately. Yet, at the same time, my mind is bending over backwards to fight the magnetic and completely biological force between us. If this helplessness is what I'll be feeling all the time when I'm around him, I don't want it. I don't want him.

I'm just getting started here.

I am not yet whole.

"Let's go out and say hello," suggests Bella, breaking into my near hysterical thoughts.

"No," I say defiantly, stuffing myself against the sofa, my back to the window, running both hands through my hair in frustration. "You do it."

"Leah, we've been staring at them for at least five minutes. You, probably a little longer. Don't you think that they're going to think we're a little strange if we don't go out and say, hi?"

"I don't care what the hell they think," I say belligerently.

I'm too frightened to face him. I'm shaking with an undeniable need to go out and see him, but I am using all of my were-girl willpower to stay seated on the couch. Bella finally notices my quaking and comes to sit beside me. I feel her cool hand on my shoulder, her voice full of concern.

"Leah, what is it?"

"I can't face him, Bells," I say, realizing I'm close to tears since I've unconsciously picked up Jake's term of endearment for my friend. My grasp on the shell of my outer toughness falters, I grab tight hold of my knees. "If I speak to him, it'll be my undoing. I can't do it. Please," I whimper, "please don't make me."

"What about the girl?" I am surprised to hear the venom in Bella's tone. Her question is unexpected.

"What about her?" I ask, confused.

Bella looks at me, but doesn't answer.

"OK," she says, shrugging, my question ignored. "I'll go talk to them, and you're going to play hostess to her when I send her in to meet you."

Again, there's something there when she says _her_ that is patently un-Bella-esque. But whatever, I think, if she just keeps the guy away from me, I'll do whatever she asks. I am so unnerved that I can't stop to think about Bella's reaction to the female counterpart.

After I hear the front door close, I willfully move my body to the leather club chair, where our visitors can't see me. I, however, have full view of the front area through the window. I see Bella trip down the stairs of the front porch. I shake my head at her clumsiness. I watch my mystery man, reach out to catch her elbow. I find myself snarling with jealousy at his slight movement to keep Bella from doing a face plant on the gravel at his feet.

As she straightens, I watch the new girl hold her hand out for a shake. Bella, still grasped at the elbow by mystery guy, shrinks back just a little and offers her a small wave instead. He lets go, my discomfort eases, and they all appear to be making introductions. Bella gestures toward the house. Soon, I hear a quiet knock on the front door. Before getting up to open it, I glance outside to find Bella gathering up a box, following mystery guy up the steps to the unit next door.

I paste on a smile and open the door to the female.

"Hello," the new girl purrs her greeting. "Your roommate..." she stumbles, searching for a name.

"Bella," I supply.

"Yes, Bella. She invited me in for a cup of water. I'm parched and Stefan, my brother, drank all that we had on the ride up," the new girl explains. "I hope that's OK?"

"That he drank you're water? No, it's not OK." I answer her. I don't know where that smart-ass comment comes from, but the girl's lips upturn at my words.

"My name's Felicia," she says offering her hand. Unlike Bella, I take it. We are both surprised at how hot our fingers are in one another's grasp. I don't comment on it and neither does she.

I lead her to the kitchen and pour her a glass of water. She curiously looks at me over the rim.

"Oh, sorry!" I say. "I'm Leah, and here's our place!"

She laughs a little. She makes a slight gesture asking silently for permission to wander around. I nod, taking the lead. It's not a long tour and in short order I have her following me back to the main room.

She tosses her sun streaked hair over her shoulder as she watches Bella and Stefan continue to move boxes. I watch her scan the room, obviously not in any rush to help with the heavy lifting. She avoids stepping on my yoga mat. Then, her gaze falls on Bella's picture on the mantel.

She slinks over to the fireplace to pick up and examine the photograph.

"Who is this?" Felicia asks, a hint of something sultry in her voice. I watch uncomfortably as she caresses Jake's profile in the picture. Only Bella's allowed to do that, I think, suddenly protective of my friend.

"That's Bella's _boyfriend_," I nearly growl, unhappy with her rapt attention on Jake's face.

"Really," she says, half to herself, picking up the frame. "Have they been going out long?"

"Yes," I say with some warning in my voice. "They have a long history together."

She hasn't stopped staring at the photo and I am feeling the agitation of this in my spine. A bad place for my temper to be.

If this girl gets this excited just looking at half of Jake's face in a photograph, I abhor the thought of her actually meeting him in person, especially considering what just happened to me.

_Interesting_.

Maybe this is the source of Bella's unreasonable anger. Maybe she somehow mysteriously senses that Felicia has a role to play in Jake's life. As much as I don't want Bella to go through heartbreak again, the thing is, I can't make myself swear to protect her from such a meeting ever taking place.

If something is fated to happen between this Felicia person and Jake, well, it's better that it happen sooner than later.

But, what's the likelihood of that ever happening, anyway? I reason with myself. Airfare is outrageously expensive. Jake doesn't have a real job, and Bella and I have already pre-planned the number of trips we'd be taking back home this school year.

"Hmmm..." the sound at the back of Felicia's throat seems to say she'd like a challenge there. But her next words don't match the unadulterated lust I sense rolling off of her. "They look quite lovely together," she says.

I watch as she replaces the frame on the mantel and makes an effortless glide into the club chair I'd previously warmed. Her movements are so graceful it's unnerving. She doesn't fidget as she crosses her legs prettily. Her long fingers lay weightless against the chair's arms.

I sit on the couch, not knowing what to say. Her beauty is distracting, and I don't particularly like looking at girls who are prettier than me. She's smooth, I resentfully admit, much better than I am. It's like she's had much longer to perfect her feminine powers than I. This seems an impossibility, though, since her flawless skin and youthful demeanor imply she can't be any older than either Bella or me. I look away.

"So, Leah," I hear Felicia say. "Tell me, what do you think of my brother?"

Shocked, I whip my eyes across the room to stare at her. Instead of the playful look I expect from what seemed like a teasing question, I'm greeted by cold steel in her emerald eyes.

I am speechless. The words to answer her question do not come. I haven't felt this gawky, or this helpless since Sam told me of his imprinting on Emily. This feeling of not being in complete control of the situation is annoying beyond measure. I don't like it. I feel the muscles of my jaw tighten as I fight for control.

I try to think. Instead, all I think about is how Jake needs to meet her, this Felicia.

He will meet her, I selfishly vow to myself. I need someone as annoyingly down-in-the-mouth about imprinting as I am to help me figure my way out of this one.


	25. Chapter 25 Lions & Tigers & Bears

**Ch. 25  
Lions and Tigers and Bears... Oh, My!**

_POV: Leah_

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The months after Labor Day fly by. December brings us freezing weather and we're mostly cooped up inside.

It's a good thing, too. Classes are just about done for the semester. Bella and I are in the throes of studying for finals and have only a couple of days before we get on a plane bound for home. She is such _the_ quintessential student. I've come to accept that her coping mechanism against homesickness is to study and work hard. If you are to ask Jake, it must do the trick to get her mind off of their long distance relationship.

I at least don't have _that_ problem to contend with.

I'm ecstatic that Stefan left after only three intolerable days of me knowing he was just a few feet beyond our living room wall. I hadn't ventured further than my doorstep while he was around. I fought my body's constant urge to cast a shadow on Felicia's threshold each moment of every day that I knew he was staying next door.

If what Felicia says about why Stefan leaving is right, I find it extremely ironic that he'll likely be studying the Quileute Nation before long. Hopefully, I'll still be out here by the time he's digging around LaPush. Try as I might, I can't imagine someone as gorgeous as him doing something as boring as archeology.

On the day of Felicia's and my first meeting, I answered her eerie question about my thoughts on Stefan by simply shrugging it off. I'm fairly good at hiding my emotions like that. I told her that I hadn't really noticed him and that I hoped I'd be able to meet him if he was going to be our neighbor.

Basically, I lied through my teeth.

I had absolutely no intention of meeting him. My nonchalant reply seemed to have greatly pleased her. I, for one, was relieved beyond words when she told me that her brother would be leaving within days.

Once Stephan was gone and she settled in, Felicia made sure to invite me out on the town whenever possible. I start up a careful friendship with her. Bella, though, avoids Felicia like the plague. While Bella studies and works, Felicia and I workout and paint the town red together.

I find myself a begrudging admirer. She'd just started an accounting job, her schooling all but finished. It's hard to believe she's four years older than me, but sometimes it makes sense. She's uncannily clever and has a strong head for numbers. I want to be like her, confident and capable.

On our late nights, Felicia and I, together, manage to gather a line of guys nearly two city blocks long. It's great fun exercising the intoxicating power of beauty. For pure self-entertainment, we sometimes hold contests over which one of us will get the most free drinks from these superficial fellas. It makes me feel good that I'm at least in competition with her. I win these vixen games at least half of the time.

The thing that I find somewhat strange, however, is her steadfast determination to get me to hook up with someone, anyone. It's really weird. It's like what I've been trying to do to Bella and Jake to test their love. Like Bella, though, I can't seem to shake the distressingly strong hold of Stefan even with the smorgasbord of available guys his sister finds for me.

Felicia disdains Bella, calling her the much despised nickname, _Izzy._ Describing her as a stick-in-the mud and has all but stopped asking her to join us on our evenings out. The most excitement Bella seems to get these days is from holding study groups at our place. None of those male eggheads ever try to hit on either Felicia or me. Bella tells me they're intimidated. I tell her they're ridiculous. When Bella isn't studying, she's at the local children's center doing pre-requisite work for her major. She's happy, but not annoyingly so. I think she doesn't smile as often as she used to be because of Jake's absence.

I often hear Bella and Jake teleconferencing before dinner. She also gets a goodnight text from him before hitting the pillow. It's sort of sweet, I guess, if you're into that kind of thing.

Admittedly, though, technology does rock. Because of it, I am able to fend off my own sporadic homesickness. Seeing Seth's goofy face onscreen and being able to reassure my mom that I am doing fine keeps be fairly buoyant - for me, that is.

Today, I'm not feeling upbeat at all. I am stressed and am in need of a serious break. I am tired of studying. My eyes are bloodshot from staring at my business class notes and my performing arts history books.

I need to run.

This time, I want to run as a wolf. I've been avoiding phasing since Thanksgiving, thinking I might be able to beat it - to stop phasing, but today, I'm just going to do it.

It's times like these that I realize I love being a wolf, having the ability of superhuman speed and being able to touch ultimate freedom. So, I pull on my favorite running outfit, crisscross a string on my left leg, like I'd seen Jake do, and make for my favorite spot in the woods.

Darkness surrounds me, but my eyes adjust quickly. I don't phase yet, carefully pulling off my clothes in the moonlight and enjoying the icy air caressing my hot human skin. Before completely undressing, I decide to leave my workout outfit hidden in the undergrowth rather than tying it to me. I like the idea of being unencumbered tonight.

As I reach around to unhook my bra, I suddenly realize the birds are silent. In my bare feet, clothed only in my underwear, my hands pause. I prick my ears to listen for anything unusual. The woodland animals sound like the first night I phased - absolutely silent, aware that a predator is among them. Since I haven't hunted here, they don't fear me. So, their silence tonight is especially curious. I nervously glance around, straining to listen.

The absence of sound from the small animals that usually rustle in the forest, sends goosebumps up my arm. I hear the shriek of an unfamiliar avian predator from above. A falcon, I think randomly. All at once, I feel the weight of someone, or something, watching me, and for the first time in these woods, I feel vulnerable, conscious of my near nakedness.

I continue my search, moving only my head. At last, I spot something moving mid-way up the trees.

I focus my gaze and am greeted by hungry, verdant eyes.

They aren't human.

I shimmer into my she-wolf body, prepared to fight, but as soon as my transformation is complete, I turn to face an empty wood.

I phase back, quickly pull on my clothes, and sprint all the way home.

I am breathless. I stop a moment, catching a whiff of something unfamiliar in the cold night air, but it's gone. I shake my head, pull open the front door and slam it shut, decisively turning the lock.

"Bella?!" I shout, "Bella?!" I find myself unable to keep the nerves from my voice. I stealthily make my way to her room, needing her presence to stop this uncontrollable trembling.

As I near her room, I hear strains of a guitar coming from behind the door. There's a pleasantly familiar, deep voice singing a song I've heard somewhere, but can't quite place.

Oh no...

_no fricken way..._

I peek inside and watch Bella, gazing lovesick at her screen, smiling at Jake.

He's on screen strumming a guitar!

And _singing_?!

Whoa!

All my fear about the unknown thing in the woods leaves me for just a moment as I watch lover boy on screen. I can't decide whether to laugh or be struck green with envy.

I somewhat recall telling Jake to get over himself, to find a new hobby after he'd called and I had to stand there listening to him whine about Bella being too busy with work to keep in regular touch with him.

I remember taunting him about how his work mustn't be up to snuff at the new mechanic job he just landed if he wasn't attracting customers, and that he must be failing out of school if his senior classwork wasn't enough to occupy him while Bella was making something of herself.

He'd cussed me out before hanging up on me. Who would have thought he was actually listening!

Crybaby!

Funny, I guess he took my sarcastic advice. That was months ago!

I paused to take in the music. It was a love song.

_Ick._

The thing of it is, Jake isn't half bad. Not that I'm ever going to tell him that.

Undetected, I close the door softly, take in a deep breath, and loudly fling the door open. Bella turns in surprise toward the ruckus I'm making. Her hands fail to cover the screen and hit the mute button on the keyboard before I see.

"Are you killing cats in here?" I shout, loud enough to ensure that Jacob hears me over his crooning. I snicker to myself.

I am rewarded with Jacob stopping mid-stanza to glare at me through the computer screen. I give him a smug smile back. He shrugs off my bad attitude and begins his gag-worthy, prolonged goodbye to Bella. I am slightly sickened at the sweetness of it, impatient for my turn at the camera as I recall the reason why I am back home without my long desired run.

I had been ready to confide in Bella. But in the lamp-light brightness of her desert colored room, I change my mind. With her eyes wide at my insolence, finally protected from all the mythological insanity of Forks and LaPush, I realize I don't want to shake up her somewhat normal existence. I'll talk to Jake first and then I'll tell her, I promise myself silently.

When I start to fear Jake and Bella might start making kissy faces at each other, I elbow her away from the computer and move to take her place. I stare into the camera, holding onto Jake's stare a little longer than normal. He seems to catch onto my unspoken message to contact me later. Just to make sure, I glare into the camera for good measure and make my own gruff goodbye.

I hit the offline button before Bella can get back on. She sees me do this and stands with her hands on her hips clearly annoyed at my intrusion. I pretend not to notice her anger, but she blocks the door, my only way out.

"And to think," she snaps out at me, her index finger harmlessly poking at my shoulder, "I was going to warn you about Stefan being back to visit Felicia."

As I hear his name fall from her lips, I feel a primitive tug inside of me, an incessant pull that that has me making my way to Felicia's front door.

Bella's mouth hangs open at my unexplained, sudden departure.


	26. Chapter 26 Shifting

**Ch 26   
Shifting**

_POV: Stefan_

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My speed as a lynx can only be surpassed by my speed as a falcon. Gliding high on the wind, I make it back to Felicia's place long before the girl, Leah, would have had time to clothe herself. My sister is still out and I have the place to myself for a while yet.

Standing by the window, I pull on my shirt, and watch Leah's human form running pell-mell out of the woods. As she nears, I move into the shadows, continuing to keep my eyes on her. She seems to sense me. Her finely formed nose rises in the air, sniffing slightly. Her watchful eyes make a sweep of the property.

I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath. I watch her shake her head, her black locks falling onto her face, perhaps silently convincing herself there's nothing to worry about. I hear her swift foot falls, the slam of a door, and the turning of the lock as she rushes into the unit next door searching for Bella.

I shouldn't have stayed in the woods once I realized her presence. But I was mesmerized when I saw her pulling off her shirt. My curiosity and, of course, my maleness were intrigued when I realized she was intent on stripping naked. Her lean muscles rippled beneath her taut skin and even in my animal form, I felt myself respond to her.

I wondered what she was doing. It was far too cold to be _that_ naked. Was she Wiccan? About to perform some ridiculous, useless spellbinding chant? I stopped my silent laughter a moment, pausing to remember that not all witches were powerless. But her looks were native, maybe she was going to send a spiritual dance to the heavens requesting an end to this unbearably cold winter?

Her quiet, graceful movements indicated neither. I had been hypnotized as I watched her hands unselfconsciously move behind her to unclasp...

It was too late when I realized she'd caught me staring. I'd startled her and before my eyes she transformed into a light grey wolf, smaller in stature than the were-women I'd previously encountered in my lifetime. I couldn't move in my shock. I'd thought they were extinct.

Leah, the wolf-girl, was poised to pounce at onto the perch I'd chosen to watch her. The scent of her fight instinct rising had me quickly shifting to from lynx to falcon. I took off, gliding soundlessly high into the sky. I hovered unseen by her, watching her confused movements from above.

Her mere presence as a human girl was potent enough. Soaring, I grimaced even with my unbendable beak. Knowing she was magical, like me, her pull was simply irresistible.

Now in the darkness of the apartment, without my sister to stop me, I release my unique, internal power that can call out to this girl. I feel her spirit answer through the unit wall.

With a predatory smile I move to stand at the door...

waiting.


	27. Chapter 27 Things that Happen In Silence

**Ch**** 27  
****The Things that Happen In Silence**

_POV_: _Leah_

* * *

I find myself standing outside the door, Felicia's door.

I hesitate, my mind wiling me to turn away. Technically, I shouldn't even know his name. I have no business being here. As I will my feet back toward my apartment, the door in front of me swings open and strong, callused fingers reach out to wrap around my wrist.

With a surprised gasp, I look up...

into hungry emerald green eyes.

Human this time...

Very human.

I mentally fight against the desire to plaster myself against him. Stefan. Instead I try to pull my arm out of his grasp, doing all I can not to submit to his magically, powerful, biological undertow.

I begin to convince myself against succumbing. It's always mind over matter, I reason. It is not like me to topple headlong into love, or lust, with someone, much less some _thing_. As these thoughts sear into my head, his grip strengthens, anchoring me to my spot. He begins to pull me toward him. I resist with all my might, digging in my heels.

I'm yanked forward, surprised by his strength and then, further shocked by the solidity of his chest. I hear the finality of the door shutting behind me.

_No_! My mind screams. I push against him, poised to let out a shout for help.

_**Don**_**'**_**t**_**!**

The command explodes in my mind, similar, but stronger than the words my wolf-pack brothers send me after we've phased.

Except...

I haven't phased...

and he isn't my pack brother.

_Screw_ _this_! _I_ _don_'_t_ _have_ _to_ _listen_ _to_ _him_! I move my mouth to talk. He stops me, holding a finger to my lips. I'm shocked silent at the fiery heat of this touch. My eyes go round as it dawns on me that this guy knows my every thought.

He catches and holds my amazed scrutiny with his own unblinking stare. I send the question about his telepathy through my thoughts. He nods back, grimly.

My mind balks against him. Wordlessly, I tell him to get his filthy hands off of me. To his credit, his hands release their grip, though, he still touches me. I silently promise not to talk if he'll just let go.

He shakes his head, no.

I open my mouth again but this time, to my utter amazement his lips meet mine. Any words that I'd been ready to say are lost in this earth shattering kiss.

I forcefully shake his hands off my wrist, my lips still sealed with his. I slide by fingers up his back. I hear the feral sound in his throat and I'm pleased. My fingers slide into his tawny hair, grabbing hold, feeling with my fingertips the hardness of his scalp. I pull him impossibly closer.

This time, he's the one resisting, trying to pull away.

_Stop_! His shout reverberates in my head, though not as strongly as his initial command.

_No_! I soundlessly retort. _Don_'_t_ _dish_ _it_ _out_ _if_ _you_ _can_'_t_ _take_ _it_, I add taunting him, finding my own strength in my ability to do so.

I hear him whimper and then feel a low, deep satisfied purr growing deep in his chest as he feels my arms snake around him. My fingers find their way under his shirt, feeling his warm skin, the strength of his muscles, and I pull him closer still. My sudden ardor seems to have him thinking better of resisting. Instead, he throws me up against the nearest wall. If I were a normal girl, the breath would have been knocked out of me.

Instead, I am even more turned on. The smoldering hunger emblazons in his eyes. My need for him rages, too, as I reach for him and grab him up close again. I feel his entire body against mine, rocking against me. I run my hand against his aching desire. His passionate moan fills my ears. I feel his hands roaming my body, stroking me in places that only one other person has ever had hands on. Our teeth knock against each other as we continue our amazing lip-lock.

It occurs to me that within the space of a few minutes, all that I've ever done with Sam I've already done with this stranger, and I haven't even heard him say my name yet.

In this position Stefan's the one with the control and I don't like it. So, I whip around with my own super-human strength, sandwiching him against me and the wall. He seems surprised at my strength. I feel his lips curl up against mine in admiration.

I want to mold myself to him, whatever the hell he was. This blazing desire engulfs my every thought and I am a victim to its every flickering whim. I feel both his questing hands continue to learn my body, I squirm to allow every inch of myself to be revered by his touch.

Suddenly, my head is yanked nearly all the way backwards. My scalp is on fire as I realize someone, not Stefan, has a fistful of my hair.

I release my hold on him, and feel myself being lifted and pulled away. Then there is the unusual sensation of falling backward. Landing back first on the ground, I see Stefan struggling to move and speak, but he seems to be struggling against some invisible force.

Felicia is home.

"Get out!" she snarls at me.

I don't recognize the girl I've been palling around with in this half-crazed woman standing above me. She grabs hold of my shoulder and finds a pressure point there. I realize I should phase and attack, but as soon as the thought flashes in my mind, something captures and squeezes against my instinct to do so. I find that despite my anger, I can't phase.

I am helpless under her fingers, terrified to find myself forced to follow her orders.

"Did he speak to you?" she gnashes the question out at me. I am confused and can't answer.

After all, he _sort of did_ talk to me.

She looks at me like I'm the dumbest creature she's ever laid eyes on.

As though speaking to someone hard of hearing and unacquainted with the language, she repeats haltingly, "Did he talk to you? Did you hear his voice?" She makes motions with her free hand, indicating words coming from her mouth.

Oh,_ well in that case,_ I glare at her as I shake my head, no.

As soon as Felicia sees my answer, with amazing strength, she bodily flings me out into the cold. I find myself kneeling, dry heaving, on the edge of porch, inches away from breaking my neck on the frozen steps. I watch her slam the door shut, the power of it rattles my teeth.

Though I am as far away as I can be from their door, I can still hear her screeching words in a language I don't understand.

I crawl back into my apartment, aching all over.

From where I am on all fours, I see Bella's back at the breakfast table, her iPod earbuds in her ears. I can hear the soft music coming from them all the way to where am.

Unnoticed by Bella, I slowly crawl my way into my bedroom and push the door closed. I'm sitting, now, my back resting against the door's hardwood. I thread my fingers into my hair, my elbows rest on my knees.

I hang my head and begin to weep.

***

I don't know how long I've been crying, but I hear the familiar buzzing of my cellphone in its charging dock next to the computer on my desk. I make my way over to the other side of the room, reaching for my candyapple red Sidekick.

I look at the name on the screen.

It's Jake.

I flip on the phone. I try to sound normal. My voice doesn't come out quite the way I want it to.

"Jake?"

"Did I wake you," he asks, hearing the rasp in my voice.

"No, something happened," I choke trying to keep from crying again.

"What, is it Bella? Is she OK?!" he sounds frantic on the other line.

"Yes! Yes! _she_'_s_ fine," I cry out heartsick and bitter towards him for not being someone who would be concerned about _me_ first for a change. "It's _me_ Jake. Something's happened to _me_!"

* * *

_Dear Reader:_

_**11/16/09 Update to note below:** _I'm nearly finally finished Leah's story, called The Choices We Make it's a sister story to this one. You can find it on my profile page. I felt compelled to write it after this and it starts off at the Vampire/Cullen/Werewolf fight. I believe it's much better written than this story. I have filled out the Just One Kiss plot line in it, too, so if you're wondering how and why some stuff happens with the OCs after you're done reading this story, particularly in relation to Jake and Leah, then check out Leah's story!

_Happy reading!_

_**Previous note:** I realize there is a shift in focus on the characters. I feel the need to fill out Leah's life. Hopefully you'll stick with me through the next few chapters and get to love/hate the OCs (I usually don't like OCs either). It's just that I'm finding Leah needs an equally good story to help myself give Jake and Bella an even better one. It would be too contrived if the required pairing happens too easily. - Apologies in advance to those who have no stomach for this kind of torture. I suggest that you read a shorter story on this site that gets Jake and Bells together on the first page... but please come back!!! _

_After all, that's how I've been able to cope with writing this twisted story myself! ;) _

_**My heartfelt thanks to **pattyofthefurniture** for her help in getting some of the stuff in this story untwisted! You're my Alice. :)**_


	28. Chapter 28 Others

**Chapter 28**

**Others**

_POV: Jacob_

"It's _me_ Jake. Something's happened to _me_!"

For the first time since Leah answered the phone, I really listen to her. She sounds... scared. The vibe I'm getting off of her is definitely one of fear. Leah is not afraid of _anything_. And knowing this makes my hot blood run cold.

I called ready for a fight, ready to yell at her for interrupting my time with Bella, but find myself truly concerned for... _my friend_?

Weird.

I process the thought speedily. In that space of time, I hear Leah's muffled, pained mewling, trying to hide her crying from me.

_Yes, she's my friend_, I decide quickly on a sigh.

"Leah, hey, were-girl, what's wrong," I ask gently, using my regular taunt as an endearment tonight. My unfamiliar tone seems to unravel her already tenuous control over her distress.

"The girl next door, she... she pulled my hair and threw me out of the house," she whines in a little girl voice.

_She's losing it,_ I think. This is NOT Leah.

"Leah, listen to me," I say forcefully, unleashing a little of the alpha command in my voice, "Stop!"

I hear her stifle a sniffle. Good, I sigh with some relief. "You are strong. Hell, you're a Quileute werewolf! You can't be thrown around by just _any_ girl."

"I know!" There's a woebegone sound in her two words that pulls at my instinctive need to protect the members of my pack. "Jake, he took Sam away. Sam is gone from inside me! I don't feel him inside me anymore!"

I try and fail miserably to follow Leah's broken, grief-stricken babble.

"Leah, calm down," I growl, my frustration emanating from the fact I can do little to help her from across the continent. "You're not making sense. First, tell me if you're hurt. Then, start from the beginning."

I hear her try to take in a calming breath. It's weary and ragged. My worry increases.

"No, I'm not hurt. Sore, not hurt. But, Jake... Jake, I think I _imprinted_," she barely speaks the words. I am at a loss. I still don't understand. She should be elated, not distressed.

"You imprinted on the girl next door?" I ask, truly confused.

"No! Damn you, Jake! This IS NOT FUNNY!" she howls into the phone, causing me to pull my receiver away from my ear. I let her finish cussing me out. Her mouth really needs a good soap washing, I think, shaking my head at her creative use of epithets.

"OK! OK! I'll shut up, you talk," I say as calmly as I can into the phone once she's finished.

"The girl next door, _Felicia_, has a _brother_ named, Stefan," she says, hiccuping the words. "I think I imprinted on him and she doesn't like it."

"I didn't even know there was someone living next door," I say, already breaking my promise to keep my mouth shut.

"Oh, Bella hasn't told you?" she sounds intrigued, despite the catch in her voice that say tears are not far away. "Well, it figures, Bella doesn't like her much, and that's the understatement of the year," she adds wryly.

I let this fact sit for examination on another day. I know Leah needs to tell me her story. "OK, anyway, how do you know you imprinted?" I ask. "Wouldn't I have known it by now if you did?"

"It happened on the day you left," she says.

"Leah, Labor Day was ages ago. I would have felt something if you did imprint."

"I've only phased three times since you came out for your visit and usually it's when you guys are asleep," she admits, knowing full well I know she avoids turning when there might be minds awake to hear her.

"Well, that would explain it. OK," I say, starting to piece it together, "So, how do you know you imprinted and what's with the girl and her superhuman strength?" I ask, trying to be patient.

"That's just it, Jake, I don't know," her voice is teetering on a wail again, so I try to stop asking questions that might upset her. I just let her talk. "I saw _him_. Then, my life's breath and my heart stopped for a second. After that, it felt I was keeping up with his heart's rhythm, and not mine anymore. I can't stay away from him when he's around."

"He talked to me in my mind," she whispers as though telling me a shameful secret. I bite off my questioning reply, waiting for her to continue. "It was like the way you and I talk when we're wolves. Except I wasn't a wolf when he talked to me that way. And I wasn't a wolf when I answered him back."

There was only one other person I knew who had telepathic powers and it sent a shiver up my spine to think what this might mean for Leah.

"Is he a vampire, Leah?"

"Hell, no! Jake what are you thinking?!" She's starting to sound hysterical again. "He doesn't smell like that. He smells... _perfect_... and I... I... kissed him and well... We can't DO THAT with vampires!"

"T.M.I., Leah! T.M.I.," I shout interrupting her. Geeze, she's like an annoying sister, I don't want to have _that_ picture in my head! I've already got too many images in my head about _her_ thanks to my lusty pack brothers.

We both try to calm down. My mind is spinning with her news. I talk out loud to sort it out.

"Strength, telepathy. Imprint. Uh, Leah, is he and, or is she a werewolf?"

"No, I don't think....," she pauses mid-thought, seeming to recall something. Then, she adds in a voice that sounds like she's finally gaining control of herself again, "Well, it's possible. They might be."

"What do you mean, it's _possible_?"

"I saw something in the woods, tonight, Jake. I saw its eyes. It wasn't an ordinary animal watching me."

A shiver runs through me at her words. We share a thoughtful silence.

"And Jake, whatever they are, it's possible one of them knows what I am."

I let out a low whistle.

"There's more Jake," she says quietly. "Felicia took away my ability to phase."

"For forever?" I ask.

"I don't know," she admits. "I haven't tried since."

Maybe I should go and tell Sam," I say, afraid for her. Afraid for all of us.

"No, Jake" I hear her say. "Please, let me tell him."


	29. Chapter 29 At Long Last

**Ch 29  
At Long Last**

_POV: Felicia_

* * *

I'm pacing. I hate pacing. It's so base. It makes me appear out of control.

I search for calm, stopping my movement, gathering a calming breath. I am infuriated with Stefan. The words tripping out of my mouth are ancient, angry, cutting words, serving to remind Stefan that he does not have the luxury to indulge in such human desires. It is his plight, for he will be punished for such insolence and me along with him. Curse the gods!

He was putting himself at risk, and putting me in the position of being his guardian, again!

Enough!

Men are so stupid, my brother included. Always thinking below the belt first, never considering the consequences. I look disdainfully at him, too handsome for his own good. Too male to realize the dangerous power he could offer this girl, Leah. His idiocy ignores the dangerous position he places her in, this one I have finally come to even like... a little.

"What were you thinking?!" I screech at him. As I hear my tone, even abrasive to my ear, I try to remind myself that men have historically been the victims in our world. It is with gratitude that I remember that the female power reigns supreme. Thank the goddesses!

He is still soundless, still thrashing against the invisible bonds I've placed on him. "Don't you remember the last time this happened?" I fume at him. "You were not strong enough to withstand the pull from that woman in Nevada. I had to get rid of her _for you_!"

His look shoots daggers at me. I know he despises his helplessness and his impotent role in our twin relationship. The man in him fights to be the protector. But the fates have robbed him of that.

My agitation is causing an ancient need within me, to draw up my power to break something. I realize, suddenly, that I need to hear him shout back for me to regain my control. I am pacing and need to get rid of the anger by letting him unleash his fury on me.

"You are not my keeper, _sister_!' Stefan roars, a look of relief overcoming him as he realize the words have finally escaped his throat. The familial word used as an expletive to emphasize his rage. "This girl is different! I was in control!"

I throw him a dubious glare. When I walked in, it definitely looked like Leah was the one in control. If it hadn't been for me, he'd have forgotten himself with her. Then, she would be holding all the cards right now. I was right to toss her out into the night.

"We are leaving, now, brother," I say calmly. "We will not be put through this again. Centuries will not make up for the crimes I have had to commit to keep you out of bonds caused by these women of the hoi polloi."

I move closer to him and put my hand on his cheek. Thankfully, his talent can not penetrate my skull for I am far more powerful than my twin.

"I can't watch you go through that again. Not at the hands of a mere human."

He stares at me. Suddenly, I see a light of triumph in his eyes as he speaks his next words.

"She is not human, Felicia"

I slit my eyes, examining my brother. "And how would you know that, Stefan?"

My fingers grip his shoulder. I watch him grimace as he feels the pressure, a warning for him not to lie for her.

"I watched her shift. The wolf, _úlfrinn_, is her form."

I stare at him in silence and finally let go. I am sure of his truthfulness.

I break into a wide grin.

"Well, Stefan, this little bit of news changes everything."

I watch him wilt in relief, resting against the invisible ties that hold him against the wall. He remembers himself and resumes his fight against them. I allow for the bonds to slacken and his straining is rewarded as he topples onto the floor.

"Does she know of our world?" I ask, standing over him, sure of my safety, for Stefan fears me just a little.

"She is a young one," he answers thoughtfully. "She is not aware of her power. Felcia, she is not exactly like us, her understanding of the world seems... limited."

"You saw that in her?" I sigh, now calm, realizing his readings of her would have had him in full control of the situation, regardless of how it might have looked to an outsider.

"I did," he says, nodding.

"Well, brother, are you ready to make this sorceress's curse a blessing?" I query, closing my eyes and moving to sit beside him. Maybe there were others like her, our search for more of our kind to end that witch's treachery has finally come to a close. Stefan's studies have finally paid off for us.

I watch him swallow, his adam's apple bobbing at his throat. The end of this hellacious existence was finally within reach.

A millennium.

We've waited so long.

"It has been a long time, Felicia," his answer is hesitant, unsure. "What do I remember of that kind of love?"

"You'll remember, Stefan," I respond confidently. "Such things, no matter how long ago, are not so easy to forget."

* * *

_Author's note: In case you're wondering, I had to use the words "hoi polloi" in the story to convince my husband to take the kids away for the afternoon so I can finish writing before I have to go to work tomorrow._


	30. Chapter 30 Telling Sam

**Ch 30  
Telling Sam**

_POV: Leah_

* * *

The snow is falling and I'm standing on Sam's porch completely unsure of what I should say. Bella and I have been home for nearly a week and a half already. I know she's out somewhere snuggling with Jake. The thought brings a scowl to my lips. I want to be somewhere like that with someone I love. Instead I'm here, the very last place I want to be and I'm practicing what to say in my head. I stare at the door in front of me.

_What is it with me and standing on porches?!__ OK, Leah, _I scold myself, _let's see. __What to say, what to say..._

_How about,_ "So, um, hi, Sam. long time. Yeah, I totally went AWOL on you guys to pursue a yet undefined future career far, far, far away, but I'm back to tell you there's something out there that's way scarier than vampires and werewolves. Yeah, and I think I _imprinted_ on it!"

_Yeah, that's SO not going to work._ I roll my eyes at my ineptitude, shake my head and drag my snow-tipped mitten across my warm face.

_Why the hell was I wearing this?_ I think, lamely, focusing on something to procrastinate on. _It's not like I'm really cold! _Ah, but the softness of my cream-colored cashmere winter accessories against my skin do give me some extra courage to face Sam. I knew damn well I looked good and satisfied, for once.

_Focus, Leah!_ I reprimand myself.

Ugh.

I suck at words. Since that godawful day when Sam pulled me into his arms, trying to explain how it wasn't me that drove him to Emily, I just have been tongue-tied around him. The only time he seems to know me through and through is when I'm running with the pack.

And just like that, it suddenly occurs to me that I don't have to talk at all.

I just have to phase, when he does. Now, all I have to figure out is when does he do that. How?

_Emily. _

I stride back to my car and drive on home. Once I get into my driveway, I give my cousin a call.

"Em?"

"Leah? Is that you?" her surprised, happy voice greets me. "I heard you were back in town. Will you come by to see me? How are you? What have you been doing? What's the east coast like? Oh! Listen to me... sorry..."

I listened to her voice trail off, and cleared my throat. "Em, I..." _F__or chrissakes, spit it out!_ I scream at myself. "I met someone while I was at school. I was... um... hoping to talk to Sam about it. If that's OK with you."

"Really?! You met someone?!" I could feel the vibration of her joy clear across blocks that separated her house from mine. And suddenly she stops. I sense she realizes something is amiss. "But, why do you want to talk to Sam?"

"I actually don't _want_ to talk to him," I admit honestly. "I can't explain it, Emily. I think I imprinted. I don't want to tell him, because it's... well... It's complicated. I think I need to show him, though. Em, will you help me? I need to know when he's going to phase next so I can show him. I can be sitting right next to you instead of being with him when I do it, too." The words come out faster and faster as I end my request.

I hold my breath waiting for her answer.

"Of course, I'll help you, Leah," my cousin answers happily. "Come by after supper. He'll go for a run then. You can shift in the house and I'll keep you company when you send him your message."

"Thanks, Emily," I sigh into the phone. "I owe you one."

"No, Leah, you don't. I'm the one in your debt. This is the least I can do," Emily says quietly, the unspoken words of apology hang in the air between our cell phones. "I'll see you tonight."

***

_POV: Sam_

It's strange how Emily forced me out of the house to go run tonight. I touch my gut self-consciously trying to figure out if she thinks I'm getting pudgy around the middle. If I am, it's all her fault, cooking the way she does. I haven't had to phase for a long while. I ponder why she wants me to do it now.

Well, whatever, I think. Maybe it'll be nice to have some wolf time. I feel the shiver down my spine as I shift into my Alpha state. Almost before my massive paws hit the ground, I hear her. She's close.

_Sam?_

_Oh! _I'm startled by the strength in her voice. I haven't heard her call me by my name like that in a long time. _Leah. Oh, damn. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so... nearby. Do you want me to phase back, give you some privacy?_

_What? No! I needed to speak to you. You know, pack wolf to Alpha._

I focus in on her and realize she's surrounded by a familiar setting. Emily is sitting on the sofa nearby. Is Leah in my house?

_Yeah, I'm at your place. Emily told me you were going to phase tonight._

I force my thoughts about my soon-to-be wife safely away in the handy Alpha mind hidey-hole I'd accidentally found after the vampire fight. Hand, this mind cubby, especially because I don't want Leah completely aware that I'd been tricked into this meeting.

_Couldn't you have come to talk to me instead,_ I ask her as I dash through the forest further my place, exercising my four limbs in a way I haven't done in weeks.

_I can't talk to you, you must know that. You need to be able to hear my thoughts. It's easier for me this way. You owe me that. It's one of the few benefits of this lousy connection we have, _she replies somewhat bent our of shape, but I can tell she's not agitated by me, for once.

I don't bother to answer, waiting instead to proceed at her own pace.

'_K, well, then, here goes..._

I sit down to focus on the message Leah tries to relay to me. I see green eyes, they glow in the night. The eyes, I realize, belong to a man. He looks about my age, taller than Jake. I wonder at that. His build is strong. Where my coloring is dark, his is light. Blond, green-eyed, alabaster skin. And, I realize there's something about him that makes my fur stand up at my neck.

_Who is he?_ I bark.

_His name is Stefan. I think I imprinted on him._

I stop a moment, and stuff more private thoughts into the hidey hole, trying to keep my composure.

_Nice to know you still care, Sammy._

I startle at the nickname. No one calls me that except her and it's been nearly two years since I've heard her use it.

_Course I do, Leah. So what was it like? _I struggle for calm, truly curious, wanting to be happy for her.

She replays her moment of impact. Stunning. So different from mine. Hers comes softly at first, then crashes into her like a tsunami. Mine was less of a hard blow. I read into her now. She doesn't want it.... She sends another picture, again, green eyes in the dark. This time animal.

_I don't get it Leah,_ I say frustrated.

_Yeah, me too... I really don't want to show you this next part, Sam. Promise me you won't hurt him. _

I can almost hear her pacing

_We are sworn to protect each other's imprints, Leah. That doesn't change even though this Stefan is not __Quileute__. _I shake my head at her forgetfulness.

_Swear anyway, _she demands.

_Fine, I swear._ I growl at her._ Now show me._

She sends me her memories of him and her together. They are crashing into one another, nearly devouring one other in their desire. Unable to resist one another's pull.

_I really don't need to see this, Leah,_ I warn her.

_Wait, yes you do,_ she quietly replies.

I watch him slam her up against the wall. I stand up, suddenly, as if to protect her from the force of that blow.

She holds her own. I see. I'm getting uncomfortable as only an ex-boyfriend has any right to, knowing what she and I did during our most intimate times together hardly anything compares to the ravenous pairing I'm witnessing in her mind.

I can't help but feel a little bit of jealously swim up within. I stamp it down forcefully.

_I'm sorry, Sam. You really do have to see this, though, to understand this next part. I'm sorry._

_Get on with it, then, Leah! What do you want me to see? _I fairly snarl at her. A whisper from my heart enters my mind, telling me she's trying to get back at me for my imprinting.

_I'm not, I swear, _I hear her say in response to my careless, unguarded thought._ I know you've suffered to._

Then suddenly, I feel the memory of her head snapping back, her back crashing onto the ground and see another set of green eyes. All angry, seething. The words from this_ woman... was she just a woman?_Words that make little sense slash at Leah. I watch as Leah denies having heard his voice.

So suddenly after her nod, I feel the memory of the wind whip around Leah's body, her strange, unfamiliar feeling of being suddenly airborne and crashing onto a wooden porch. I feel her fear, and taste her despair at being ripped from her imprint's arms.

Then I realize, _that_ girl _threw_ Leah. And that even in her red-hazed anger, Leah hadn't phased to protect herself. Her imprint seemed frozen to his spot, unable to move. But his facial expressions and what little movements his body had been able to make screamed his intention to guard her against the strange woman who looked the spitting image of him.

_What's the hell?_

_Exactly,_ I hear Leah say in reply.

_I'm coming home. You _WILL_ be there when I get back._

I hear her mentally nod. It's not a request.

It's an Alpha command.


	31. Chapter 31 Great, Just Great

**Ch 31  
Great, Just Great**

_POV: Jake_

_

* * *

_

The summoning howl I'd been waiting for since Leah and Bella's return finally reaches my ears. Bella and Charlie left an hour ago to go pick up their Christmas tree. Billy was dozing in front of the T.V. I'm sitting trying clumsily to wrap some recently purchased gifts.

I don't want to meet the pack. I know I'm going to get in trouble for not warning Sam.

_Damn, Leah! _

_Crap._

I shouldn't have listened to her.

I also don't want to shift.

The howling is more insistent and I can no longer pretend to ignore it.

_Fine. Damn it! Fine!_

I toss the colorful ribbons aside, pull off my shirt, hang it on the back of my chair, kick off my shoes and socks and run out the door.

All members of the pack are assembled already. I am the last to take my place in the circle. I watch Sam pace as he silently relays his recent discovery of Leah's imprint.

_Is that what we're calling it, then? _I think, forgetting that my thoughts are an open book.

_Thanks, Jake,_ Leah mutters bitterly beside me, a thought focused on implanting itself in my grey matter.

_What else would it be, Jake,_ I hear others ask, used to ignoring Leah's temper tantrums.

_I don't know, but whatever this Stefan is, _I say joining the mind conversation,_ he and his sister are NOT human._

I listen to the pack discuss the possibilities. I catch an idle thought from Sam, something about descendants of the Children of the Moon? Weird. No one else seems to have caught it. I stare hard at Sam and he glares back at me. It doesn't seem like Sam wants anyone else to know about that little tidbit.

I gaze up into the sky. I see a bird fly across it, passing the moon. A predator, I think idly. Beautiful bird. It perches on a nearby tree. I turn away to capture Leah's gaze.

She's staring at the bird, too.

Sam calls for our attention and he's sending out marching orders. One of us has to return to New Hampshire with Leah.

Now everyone's staring at _me_.

Great.

Just great.

* * *

_December 30, on an airplane..._

"I don't even know if he's with his sister, Jake," whimpers Leah, sitting beside me in coach.

My irritation is heightened. I hate these flying sardine cans. I'm barely able to fold into my seat without banging my head and knees.

Only now she comes up with this?

"Leah, you couldn't have thought to have brought _that_ up with Sam _before_ he bought the plane ticket?" I ask snarling grumpily at my teary eyed seat mate. It enrages to see her so freaking girly.

I have to skip out on my already rare days with Bella, _ordered_ to accompany Leah back to New Hampshire. To do what, exactly? To protect her? To find out what these two freaks were about? Why couldn't Leah have just called it quits and come back home for the rest of the school year? Then, at least Bella would come home to, maybe.

I'm still just so bent out of shape about about this whole thing.

The night of the pack meeting, Sam pulled rank on me. Then there were no more question about who was going to go.

When he got around to buying the tickets for us, he forgot to ask Bella when _she_ was going back.

So bogus!

I close my eyes, imagining Bella at Charlie's house. She's not scheduled to be back at Dartmouth for another _three_ days.

I am stuck with Leah. I swear, I'm going to kill her.

"I'm sorry, Jake, you know how it is," her apology is sincere. "Sam, goes Alpha, I go forgetful."

"Sure. Sure," I say, closing my eyes. It was going to be a long three days without Bella.

Great.

Just great.


	32. Chapter 32 Matchmaker Matchmaker

**Ch 32  
Matchmaker Matchmaker**

_POV: Bella_

* * *

A knock at my door has me racing to open it. I'm still hoping against hope that it's Leah and Jake telling me they changed their minds and they're going to wait to go back when I do. But I know Leah's classes start a few days earlier than mine and for whatever reason, Sam wants Jake up there to meet Stephan if Leah did indeed imprint on him.

I open the door to find friendly, gemstone green eyes staring down at me.

"Hey, this is sure a surprise," I say, moving aside to welcome Stefan into Charlie's house.

So, his archeological studies finally have him up here on the Washington coast. I'd counted on him remembering to look me and/or Charlie up once he got here. While I despised his sister to the bone, Stefan was someone I wanted to get to know better, especially if he was at all interested in Leah. Something had happened between them that night when she rudely interrupted my nightly call with Jake, but Leah still wasn't talking about it. Her surly attitude kept me from pressing.

Getting her together with Stefan was the only reason I'd agreed to her and Jake leaving for New Hampshire without me. Leah just needed a boyfriend, then she'd leave Jake and me along. I also and I want Stefan to be that guy. He seems strong enough not to let Leah lead him around by the nose

There had been something about Jake's shifty stance the day they told me Sam ordered them back that had me thinking he was keeping something from me, but it wasn't like I wasn't aware there was something different about Stefan and his eerily beautiful sister. The thought of her possibly meeting Jake without me, stops my heart mid-beat.

Leah promised to call if it happened. I remain skeptical. But Leah's the one who finally convinced me to allow whatever might happen to happen.

"Better _now_, Bella," she'd gently urged. "Let him go and if your worst fear happens, well then, at least you'll know what you're up against. And maybe you'll be lucky. Maybe he'll resist her... somehow."

_Boy, oh, boy, wouldn't Leah and Jake be in for a huge surprise to find that the man they went out to look for was standing right on my front porch,_ I think.

"Hi, Bella," Stefan's voice is as smooth as honey. "I was hoping you'd be home." He takes a step into the house, assessing the inside from the front hall.

My smile widens as I belatedly realize that wherever this guy is, especially around the holidays, it was likely his sister wouldn't be that far behind. If my assumptions proved true, then Felicia's thankfully out of Jake's way while I am still at home for the New Year with Charlie.

Before closing the door, I take a moment to peek at his car, finding the girl I have in mind sitting in the font seat checking her cellphone. My heart leaps at the good luck.

"What can I do for you, Stefan?" I ask deliberately not including Felicia in my hospitable invitation. Still, I want to be helpful, especially if he did turn out to be Leah's soul mate,

"I'm wondering if you know anyone I might be able to talk to at the Quileutereservation about doing some studies over there in La Push?"

I give him a toothy smile, knowing I am finally going to be able to turn the tables on Leah and play matchmaker for her.

I reach for my phone and make a gesture towards the kitchen table, motioning for him to sit. I punch in the numbers and hold the receiver up to my ear. As he eases himself into a nearby chair, I pat his shoulder and send him a smile.

I hear someone pick up on the other end.

"Hi, Billy, it's Bella..."


	33. Chapter 33 The Scent of A Woman

**Chapter 33  
The Scent of a Woman**

_POV: Edward_

* * *

Alice's idea to put my exceptional skills at the piano to use had been far superior to the other option, which was attending another po-dunk high school, nursing my wounds pretending to be an ordinary 17-year-old boy.

Traveling the globe, unencumbered, had been my plan B. Impersonating a prodigy allowed a legitimate way to accomplish it, too. My family had been extremely supportive, eager to have such an easy way to track my whereabouts instead of worrying about me and a certain death wish. It was finally Esme, who finally convinced to do it... promising me that it would be cathartic.

It surprisingly is.

Playing the old melodies, particularly my _Lullabye for B_ helps elevate my mood in a way only one certain person has the capability of doing, a fantastic luxury that will never ever happen again. It brings me closer to her, though, and the appreciative sound of the audience, their pleased murmurs and clapping hands, fool me into believing that someone, somewhere recognizes my sacrifice. That I am, indeed, in possession of a soul.

I crave the sound almost as much as I wish she'd chosen me.

I assuage the need for her through the roar of applause at every symphony concert hall I perform in. I'd be forever indebted to some of the world's most well-known musicians, vampire friends in show business with agents who knew the ropes, helping to put me on the fast track toward success. Even I'd been surprised at how quickly my name was gaining recognition in fine arts circles.

My piano concert tour in Asia is finally over and I think Bella must be well on her way back to Dartmouth by now. I'd placed some calls before leaving Forks to make sure they'd accept her, even as late as her acceptance letter had been to the university. So, I think it's fairly safe to venture back to Washington for one night back at the Cullen house.

Things are looking better for me, not great, but I'm managing. We'd survived a treacherous trial due to the Volutri criminal charges stemming from our insistence on keeping Bree. Fortunately, her swift ability to adapt to our ways nullified the threat she would have been to others of our kind. So the charges were dropped and we finally were free to leave Italy late in June. Bree found a place in our family, become instrumental in booking my shows and helping with all the scheduling. I'm sure, however, many are still concerned about the growing number of us turning "vegetarian."

Speaking of which, I knew I couldn't endure another thirteen hour plane ride full of humans without a good hunt, which is the primary reason I find myself in Washington before heading out to catch up with the rest of the entourage to start my European tour.

I want to catch a big cat.

This is why I'm here, surrounded by all the familiar scenes that put a slight ache in the center of my being.

A light wind brushes past me and I'm surrounded by a smell so intoxicating I'm nearly brought to my knees at the shock of it. Why would _she_ be here in the dead of night? Was she out of her mind? Where was Jacob? I inhale deeply, but can't detect the wolf. Something else nearly as mangy, but not Jacob or his pack.

Curiosity and concern has me tracking her unique scent to a clearing. I stop, befuddled. If I continue to follow it, it would bring me up that enormous, towering fir tree. Concern taking over now, I take in a lungful of swirling air and find Bella's scent mixed with _that_ _something_ _else_... feline but.....not quite...

I jump up into the air, landing softly on one of the tree's sheltering boughs, startled to find myself nose-to-nose with a green-eyed, hissing lynx. My instincts tell me this is no ordinary big cat. My confusion is two-fold. Why does it smell like the girl who haunts my memories? And _what_ in all that is holy is_ it_?

Not waiting for it to gain the upper hand and pounce, I find my most threatening vampire stance, prepared to go in for the kill.

Taking in the full sight of me, the lynx's eyes widen, almost human.

I hesitate and as I do, our minds collide, the shock of mental penetration releases frustrated, surprised snarls from the both of us. I read things in its mind that tear and clutch at me. It sends me a warning message that still rings in my head.

I know precisely the moment it makes its decision to flee. In an instant, just one blink, a human habit brought on by hundreds of years, I swear it turns into a feathered raptor, taking off into the night, leaving in its wake traces of Bella's unmistakable, human perfume.

* * *

**Four days later...**

_POV: Jacob_

The trip out to New Hampshire had been worthless.

I slam into the house, hang my jacket on its hook by the door, and throw myself onto the sofa. Billy grunts a greeting, rather used to my seemingly constant belligerent attitude. He knows he can't really blame me for it and I'm slowly losing control of the tight leash around the resentment I hold toward my numerous irritations.

I am one frustrated wolf. I've got no real money to keep me close to my girlfriend, am not getting any older any faster. I am also no closer to finding out who or what Leah imprinted on, am stuck with no Bella around since yesterday, and currently have no chance in hell that l'll _ever__ get any_ anytime soon.

I push the thought from my mind. One day, when the time is right it will happen, I know, but this well-worn mantra is starting to grate against my every nerve. What I know for certain, though, is there is no way I'll be able to slake my lust for Bella, not while I am living under Billy's roof, or casting shadows in the halls of my high school.

Being 16 and three-quarters sucks big rocks.

I grimace at my conundrum, tired of having to deal with the weight of it. I punch the on button of the remote control that's beside me for a moment of passive stupidity on the screen.

I move my eyes toward the television and see a cream-colored envelope lying on the table next to the T.V. It looks fancy even from across the room.

Curious, I move to investigate.

In fine calligraphy, I read my name on the outside. I run my finger under the ragged-edged parchment. As it unfolds, I catch a scent I thought I'd smelled the last of. A cloying sweetness escapes from the inside as though the paper had been doused with some cheap dime store perfume.

Oh, Crap! And I didn't think my day could get any worse.

I hold my breath as I disdainfully pull the sheet, as welcome as a soiled diaper, from inside its thin covering. I purposefully stride out the front door. The clean air makes the chore of reading the note more tolerable.

"Oh! Yeah, hey, Jake, someone came by from Forks. Do you know an Angela? Yeah, that's her name, I think. She said to give that letter by the T.V. to you," says Billy's raspy voice from the hallway leading to the door. "Glad you found it, I almost forgot."

I nod my head and shout a thanks. Then, duck my head to read the note.

* * *

_Dear Jacob,_

_I guess by now, you know it's me. I was in town for the night, stopping over on my way to Italy, to hunt. I hadn't intended for anyone to know. But I was nearby and stumbled onto something I think you should be aware of._

_I thought I caught Bella's scent. I followed it, thinking she, or you, might be in trouble. It was late. I know it's not any of my business, not anymore, but I was worried and old habits die hard._

_Instead of Bella, I found a lynx. I tried to hunt it, but I think it shifted, into something else - a bird. Do you already know something about this? I certainly hope you do._

_And, Jacob, it gets worse, I think it can read minds, as well as project into them. I saw into his. I'm sure it was male._

_It's after Leah, Jake. I thought you should know... You were on its mind, too. Please keep Bella safe._

_Call me if you need to._

_Sincerely,  
Edward_

_212-505-8267_

* * *

I drop my hand, still holding the note, and stare up into the sky. It is lighter out than even a month ago at this time of the evening. The clouds block the moonlight, though slivers of its rays peek out every so often, bathing everything in the front yard in a silvery glow. It'll be spring soon, I can almost smell it in the air. I gaze absently at the paper in my hand. At least there's nothing in it that indicates Bella might come to harm. Not really. I wrinkle my forehead, deep in thought.

The thing of it is, Bella mentioned Stefan had stopped by Forks a few days before she left for Dartmouth. She said she gave him Billy's and my number at home here in LaPush.

But Billy says Stefan never called and the pack isn't any closer to discovering the mystery surrounding the twins. Is this lynx Stefan? Had Edward stumbled on him only hours after he'd seen Bella? If so, was he a _shifter_? Is that how he can have multiple shapes? Do I truly want the answers to these questions?

I know the girl, Felicia, is back in New Hampshire. Leah sent an e-mail just this morning. No sign of the guy, though.

I push them aside and as always, my mind wanders to Bella. A sad smile touches my lips as I close my eyes and remember her teary goodbye as I leave her once again for home, for school, for Billy. We'd shared a night together that left both of us more than frustrated. She pleaded feminine issues when things got hot and heavy. While likely truthful, it left me wondering if she truly does want me after all.

My paranoia, I think, stems from the fact that I feel like I am lying to her about how much I know about the blond twins. She knows I'm keeping stuff from her though it is a lie of omission. She understands, of course, since I am under Alpha command not to share any of this with anyone outside of the pack. If it means our pack safety, I have to abide by Sam's wishes. Sam isn't even telling Emily everything. I also don't want Bella to be worried about something that could be nothing at all.

I think about Leah and then I think about me, both of us in this _thing's_ mind. If there is a way Ed can help, how can I not ask for it? If I do ask, how will I keep it from Bella? I've never kept anything this big from her.

I sigh and ask the inevitable question of myself, the true reason for my hesitation. If I involve Edward in our lives again, will I be able to keep Bella from falling for him all over again?

I sigh, making up my mind.

Then I reach for my phone.


	34. Chapter 34 The Differences Between Us

**Chapter 34  
The Differences Between Us**

_POV: Jacob  
It's March..._

* * *

"So what are you saying, Edward?"

"Jacob, there are others like you, or were, according to the legends and what little historical records I can find. I found out that my kind wiped out the werewolves that were once the Children of the Moon."

Edward was in London now, coming out of his latest concert tour. I caught a PBS special of him playing with some other fancy pants musicians like Cellist Yo-Yo Ma and violinist Itzhak Perlman. I'm impressed. Ed's really good at the ivory keys and I'm glad for him, for once.

I'm also glad they haven't invented the smell-o-phone. Having him far far away from my sensitive nasal passages is a true blessing.

"So, women can be werewolves, too?" I ask, incredulously.

His entire family is with him in Europe and they're scouring all of the world's national libraries searching for any information that might help us make sense of Stefan. I personally haven't said anything to Sam about this yet.

"Yes, according to what information I found about the Children of the Moon, as part of preparation for mating, part of their formation, the female werewolves must go through seven years of being part of the pack. After that, they are ready to reproduce."

"So Leah is in her first year of werewolf puberty?" I chuckle at the thought of it. Well, maybe she'll be relieved when I tell her, later. _Way later._

"Yes, exactly. And as werewolves, you, the Quileute, are Children of the Moon, but your bloodline appears not to be pristine, however, because you mate with humans, not other werewolves and you can't turn humans into werewolves through biting. A necessary adaptation for survival, I imagine, but close enough is my guess, it's probably only a fraction of a difference. And there are also others, called, _shifters_."

"So, is this what this guy, Stefan, is? A _shifter_?"

"It appears so. Shifters can take any shape. According to what you've told me, his kind has Nordic ancestry. They're extremely powerful, Jake, which explains the telepathy. Their powers rival our vampiric ones, especially the women. We're still reading through the material on them. I'll call you when we make sense of it. Carlisle is trying to get someone to help translate for us."

"Thanks, Edward. I never thought..." my voice trails off.

"Yes... I never thought we'd be in be helping eachother this way again either," Edward replies quietly. "Take care, Jacob. I'll call soon."


	35. Chapter 35 Torn

**Chapter 35  
Torn**

_POV: Edward  
It's April in England..._

* * *

Her slim fingers hand me the papers I'd been waiting eagerly for. The Cullen family home in London has a dark, comfortable den I enjoy sitting in. It is the setting that most reminds me of the time when I was human.

"Thank you," I say absently glancing up to catch the hem of her light skirt softly flutter into the hall as she pulls the heavy door shut. I begin reading the compiled notes from my family.

_From Esme, a finding from records at the Biblioteca nazionale centrale di Roma:_

_[sic] _The power of the female shifter and werewolf is not lost once she ceases the ability to shift. Her powers, in fact, strengthen, overcoming the power of the male shifters she associates with. For a shifter, the more powerful she is, the more potential mates she will attract. Her sole job is to ensure the survival of her species._[sic]_

_I flip to the next page, sent from Jasper, now in the far North._

_**Edward, this is a local legend around here that I think might be helpful. - Jasper**_

It goes like this: There was once a beautiful sorceress, a loyal friend of the werewolves and shifters of old. She fell into a dangerous love for a shifter of the far North. This man had a twin, a most cunning and powerful female shifter who despised the witch for stealing the love of her brother. For this female shifter considered the witch unworthy and physically unable to give her brother children. The witch was neither wolf nor shifter. So, the twin selfishly used her immense power to keep the witch from seeing her brother's returned affections.

Believing herself spurned by this male shifter, the sorceress cursed his life forever. She left him impotent, unable to father children by human, or shifter, and he was fated to walk the earth attracted to the most deceitful of all human women. These evil women would have the power to enthrall him _(Edward, the meaning of that is to literally enslave)_ and make him commit her every desire while she was alive. The more evil, the more powerful the enthrallment, the worst were these for they had the force to keep him in _unna,_ or the most superficial kind of love, of which trapped not only his body and mind, but also his heart.

The death of the woman was the only way to break the enthrallment, a job the twin sister was destined to do, but the weight of these killings would eventually bring her to a gruesome end.

As in all fairytales, there is but one out, a one true love born in the form of a Child of the Moon, for the witch believed she would come back as a true werewolf to claim him. As a werewoman, she alone would possess the power to give him an heir, to make him hers through an imprint so powerful that even his twin would not be able to put an end to it. As for the sister, to escape her bloody end her imprint would also have to be a Child of the Moon, but only her brother would have the power to allow such an imprint to proceed, overthrowing her ultimate feminine right as a female shifter to choose.

_And finally the note I'd most wanted to read from Rosalie in France, her discovery from __Bibliothèque nationale de France_

_[sic] _The power of the imprint is irresistible. For an imprint leaves no question of the physical and genetic perfection that would result from such a pairing. Among werewolves, the imprint is unique, a monogamous pairing. Among mere shifters, however, the imprint is of common occurrence. As in the earthly animal world, the female is able to choose her mate from among many males vying for her attention. Her final selection is often made only from those she alone has deemed genetically acceptable.

The males of the species have but one weapon to attract her, only their unique mating call. If heard by the female, it brings them to the front lines of her attention. The female, upon hearing the call possesses the power to summon the male to her side, or reject him outright.

Should such an imprint occur between shifter and werewolf species, however, the male of either species does retain the ability to . . .

The words blur in front of me. I realize the impact of these findings.

_Imprint_.

_Unbreakable._

_Cursed_.

_Soul mate._

Such things could change everything, for me, for Jacob, for Bella.

The last word. The one I dare not read holds the key to my future. Do I love her enough to speak the whole truth to Jacob?

A feminine whisper joins the thoughts in my mind.

_Edward, will you tell him the whole of it?_

_I don't know, _ I answer honestly, knowing she hears my every thought, even the secrets kept locked in my soul, just as clearly as if she were sitting beside as if I'd spoken the words aloud.


	36. Chapter 36 Mad

**Chapter 36  
Mad**

POV: Jacob on an airplane to Dartmouth

* * *

_Bastard!_

I think hatefully, yet again on a flying sardine can on my way out to see Bella.

_I am going to kill him if he ever gets close enough._

I look at my text messages for what might be the fiftieth time today. One lousy line, this morning, after weeks of waiting, and promising myself I wouldn't call, interrupting his search.

And all I get is this...

_**JB-**_

_**If you feel an urge to talk to the twin sister. Don't.**_

_**-EC**_

_What the hell kind of heads up was that? _

I tried calling him back between throwing clothes in my backpack and making my way to Seattle Airport. But his agent or whatever, intercepted the call and wouldn't pass on the phone.

I want to rip something apart, like Edward's head, yes, tear it right off his lousy, glittery, girly-man body.

_Bastard!_


	37. Chapter 37 Imprint

_Author's Note: Don't hate me for posting this. Please. I just hate the idea of imprinting. This is my fight against such a ludicrous thing._

* * *

**Chapter 37  
Imprint**

_POV: Bella_

* * *

I knew it!

It was inevitable, since I'd basically predicted it would happen.

Jake is sitting in front of the fireplace when Felicia walks into our unit using the spare key stupid, trusting Leah gave her for emergencies. The object of my utter disgust is now moving closer to Jake, muttering something about having forgotten her sunglasses here the other day.

I watch Jake nearly collapse when he sees her face.

Felicia, on the other hand, is so preoccupied with locating her shades, she doesn't really notice him, much less his reaction to her. She is almost tripping over him before she stops to look at him more closely. I notice her features smooth slightly, a cheshire cat grin breaking on her face.

She offers Jake her hand, saying, "Why hello! You must be Jake. Bella's certainly been keeping you under lock and key."

At the meeting of hands, a shiver of awareness rockets through the room, knocking the breath from my lungs. If even I can feel this across the room, I can only imagine what this powerful feeling is doing to _them_.

I watch that feline smile of hers snake across her luscious lips. Sickened, I watch Jake eye that smile with undeniable wolfish desire.

I want to slap her.

I want to slap him!

Hell, I want to slap myself for just standing here doing nothing.

"Well, aren't you just..... delicious?" Felicia says breathlessly, nearly rubbing up against his hand, still captured in hers. She pulls him closer, completely oblivious to my presence in the room.

"Felicia!" I just about shriek, getting ready to jump on her to wrench her hand away. "Stop it! I'm right here. Stop it!"

She seems not to hear. With some relief, I watch Jake shake off the mental haze and some clarity returns to his eyes, again. He smiles wanly at Felicia, quickly letting go as though if he'd just seared himself on something really, really hot. He purposefully moves over to me, slinging his arm over my shoulders. He's gripping my upper arm, pulling me close. It's as though he's holding on for dear life.

She casts him one more lustful gaze as she bends into a seductive, pin-up model pose to pick up her momentarily forgotten sunglasses from off the floor beside the sofa.

I feel a slight tremor move through Jake. I clench my jaw.

I shoot daggers at Felicia as she slinks away with a covetous glance at Jake.

"Goodbye, you two!" she sings out a minute later. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Jacob, a pure pleasure," she just about purrs.

The front door shuts and Jake lets out a ragged breath. The loud, hiccuping whoosh of its release fills the silence. I look to him but he refuses to meet my gaze.

"I love you, Bella," he says pulling me close to kiss the top of my head. "Nothing changes."

I turn to face him. He looks... pained.

I move myself into his arms. I push my hands into his hair and pull, hard, moving his face closer to mine. I stare into his eyes, searching.

The way he looks at me hasn't changed.

_Good_.

I crush my mouth against his. I'm seeking the truth. The familiar, uncontrollable tide of happiness and light washes over me as it always does. I momentarily forget what I am looking for at this passionate meeting of our lips. He responds by pulling me closer.

_Good_

Even though our bodies are still moving toward each other, as they always have in the past, I can't stop my mind from wondering if he's just trying to prove something to himself. What if this really isn't about wanting to be with me?

_Not Good_

Now that he's finally seen her, I wait.

I wait.

I wait to feel him draw away. I wait for him to tell me he can't be with me. I wait for the love in his eyes to fade, for the awed movements of his hands on my body to still and quiet.

_These thoughts... _

_Definitely..._

_Not Good._

Instead making me live out my worst nightmare, Jake drags me closer. His arms curve more tightly around me. His hands, forcefully lift me, drawing me up against him. My toes are barely touch the ground. He pulls me impossibly closer against his solid frame, adjusting his hard body to the softness of mine.

It's as though we can't get close enough.

My movements are just as demanding. He catches me up. I cross my legs around his waist and he carries me, striding easily over to the counter where he sits me down. I can feel his pulsing desire against the heart of mine. I hear the intake of his breath. I hold him closer still, wanting to devour him. And yet, I feel myself mentally pulling back, even as I yearn to mold my entire self to him, aching to lose myself in him.

_My Jake._

Yet, my mind won't give it a rest. I know something's happened. I know what I saw. I know what I felt. What if he's afraid? Is he using me to forget her image that must now be seared on the back of his closed eyelids?

"Bells," he moans. "I love you. Nothing's changed."

_Can he hear my thoughts, now? How can he know what I am thinking?_

I feel the glide of material against my skin as his fingers pull at my shirt, his hot hand is on the bare skin at the small of my back. His fingers move hesitantly upward. He's reaches a barrier, the back of my bra closure, the familiar boundary we never pass during our impassioned kissing. His hand hesitates over the fastenings. His fingers inch towards my front. The closeness of his hand promises to mold and claim parts of me he's only grazed teasingly over before. The knowledge of this has my body tensing, yearning, awaiting his reassuring, possessive touch.

We've stumbled into no-man's land. _Finally, _I breathe. _Finally!_ And, yet, my stubborn thoughts argue, what if this is a fruitless fight, on his part? What if this will end in my inevitable, fated heartbreak?

"Bella," Jake gasps desperately. "We have to stop now, or I won't be able to."

"So, let's not stop," I growl back, throwing down the gauntlet and pulling him back into my embrace.

He resists.

"That's not what we've agreed on. It's not what you or I want, yet," he sees the hurt in my eyes. He always could read me like an open book.

I start to protest, clutching at him, silently pleading with him to stop talking...

to just...

stop....

talking.

He groans at my insistence, capturing my hands and locking them behind me, away from him, forcing me to stop a minute and meet his gaze.

"I want you, Bells. I really, really, really do. He moves against me and I feel the truth of his words as our bodies yearn to join. I just want to do it right. Not like this, not after_ that_. I want you to KNOW, to be completely sure that it really is YOU I see when we make love."

I let out a whimper of need and wriggle against his strong hold of my wrists.

"Bella, focus," his eyes scold. His fingers tighten. "I can feel your questions all over your body. I can feel the questions with your every touch. I can't have you unsure."

I surrender to his impassioned pleas._ Who's being the adult here, now?_ I think. _He's right and I know it._

"Bells, we both have questions." I silently wonder what questions Jake might have, but I am too afraid to ask. He releases my hands, and pulls me back into his arms. "Let's do this right. I love you. Know that. Nothing has changed."

And for the rest of the night, nothing did.

Jake went off for the regular evening run he always takes before dinner and as soon as he was five minutes into the woods, my phone rings.

It's Leah on her cellphone, just finishing her evening workout and on the way back home.

"Bella, are you OK?!"

"Yeah, why?" I answer dejectedly.

"Did I just see it right? Did Jake really imprint on _Felicia_?!"

* * *

_No hate mail please!!! I'm posting the next chapter in a second!!! :)_


	38. Chapter 38 Screw Fate

**Ch 38  
Screw Fate**

_POV: Bella_

After nearly a year, Leah finally, reluctantly admits her irresistible attraction to Stefan. She refuses to call it an imprint. Anyway, Jake tells me that Stefan's in LaPush, starting whatever dig he's on out there. The pack is relieved to be able to keep closer watch over what they consider an enigma.

Even though Leah's relationship with Stephan is yet undefined, she and Felicia are starting to become thick as theives again, their common interests bringing them back together after what I assumed was a pretty awesome fight our freshman year.

Regardless, the long distance yearning thing is now another common bond Leah and I have between us. I also try not to resent her for not hating Felicia more.

As for Jake and me, sophomore year is filled with comings and goings. Jake comes to New Hampshire for sporadic visits and I make more frequent treks back to him and Charlie. Felicia, perhaps smelling his presence in the building whenever he's around, sashays her way into our apartment. She doesn't wait for an invitation.

During Jake's last stay, every opportunity she had, Felicia absently rubbed up against him, like a cat rubs up against a scratching post scented with catnip.

It sets my teeth on edge and sends my self-doubt whirling out of control like a kid's top. Jake seems to enjoy my jealous reaction, just as he steels himself against my neighbor's shameless behavior. I notice her always trying to draw him into conversation, but he only responds with a nod, or a shake of the head, almost shy.

Well, it works for me that he doesn't want to talk to her. It suited me just fine, indeed.

Valiantly he keeps to the promise of waiting. I, on the other hand, regret I was ever stupid enough to make him swear we'd wait. Now, I'm doubly angry at myself for not being convincing enough when I tell him that I trust in his love for me, despite his imprint. If there's anything Jake is, it's that he's just as stubborn about promises as I am. And he promised that I'd be doubt-free when we finally succumbed to our physical need for one another.

"I love you, Bella," he whispers to me one night as I lay in my arms, trying unsuccessfully to end the interminable waiting. I'd asked him why he was so intent on keeping to his vow. "It's important to me that you know the truth of - _us_. I'll wait until you can trust that no imprint has the powerto wipe away how much I love you."

So because of this weakness of mine, the torture of not giving into our desires continues. Every night, instead of acting on Felicia's feminine advances by throwing himself into her welcome arms, and her clearly welcome bed, Jake sends himself out on a night run alone. First he makes out with me passionately in my room, always leaving me aching with a heart full of longing. On these nights my entire being calls out silently to him. I'm left hoping never to hear telltale sounds from next door, but straining my ears for them anyway.

Felicia is nonplussed at Jake's reaction, or rather, non-reaction to her. She calls him her reluctant _swain_, but not in the dictionary meaning (I did bother to look it up). She tells me that the word she means doesn't translate directly to English. Either way, she knows she desires him more than she does other men, but she doesn't seem to think very much of it.

"I have plenty of opportunity to get my itch scratched, Izzy, don't worry about it." She tosses her long blonde mane over her shoulder, the contrast of her crass mouth against her angelic face is so irritating. I hate her nickname for me. But I take comfort in her announcement that she didn't want my "boring boyfriend".

"Are you still worried that I'm going to snatch Jacob right out from under you," Felicia asks boldly one night as the three of us watch the fireflies dance in the front yard. I glare at her as Leah suddenly find her fingernails to be the most interesting thing on the planet.

"Yes, I can see you are," she continues, ignoring my silence. "Well, I'm here to bring you some comfort, Izzy." I resist the urge to run at her and pull her blonde hair straight out of her scalp. "Stephan's told me all about his exciting life as a mechanic," she reveals in with a condescending drip in her voice. She gives me a sidelong glance as she sips at her iced tea. "That whole poverty thing, well, it's not exactly my idea of a good time. No, not so much."

She turns her laughing eyes at me as I pick up my dishes and stomp back into the house.

"Well, Felicia," I hear Leah say in exasperation, "_That_ was so unnecessary. Besides, Jake hasn't shown a bit of interest in you."

"Oh, he's interested Leah, you can be sure of that." I can hear the undeniable confidence and irritating smirk in her voice. "It's just that Stefan doesn't want me bothering Izzy and that means, hands-off the boyfriend."

But, I also know Felicia. Though she might not seem the settling kind, she would have no problem snatching Jake away from me, even if just for a night. Still, she stays true to her word, she wasn't waiting around pining after him. As always, between her and Leah, there are men lining the driveway just waiting for a date. Leah's heart doesn't seem in it, but with Stephan silent about whatever happened between them, she still dates.

As a result of her yet murky love life, Leah's always in constant wonder at Jake's ability to withstand _his_ imprint's seduction, as well as, the normal biological needs of man when he's with me. I am not at all happy with her curious experimentation with my love life, humiliating as it is, now perilously too close to accomplishing her pessimistic hypothesis that imprints are made to last.

She's ever trying to throw Jake and Felicia together in all sorts of provocative situations whenever the opportunity arises. I know her reason is to find out if she can beat the imprint of Stefan herself by following Jake's lead. Regardless the reason, each time I come away thoroughly pissed at her for her heartlessness toward me. She says it's not callousness that drives her, but a desire to let it all out in the open and that if he's going to break my heart, it might as well be now.

But, to put herself back in my good graces, she buys me outrageously sexy lingerie that I have absolutely no intention of wearing. Secretly, though, I wish I could summon up the courage to put them on, ever wishing that through a simple change of clothes, I could hold even an ounce of feminine provocation, enough for Jake to waver in his vow of abstinence. That somehow I could hold a comparable candle to this otherworldly beauty.

I also know that putting on Leah's gifts would allow her a new variable for her experiment about imprints. Though contrite, Leah can't help her selfish curiosity, and it always gets the better of her. It's all fairly obvious since she asks me each time I thank her for the gifts, to let her know if it all works out with the forfeit of my v-card.

If I'm honest with myself, I secretly harbor my own morbid curiosity at carrying out her experiments and comparing our findings. I am constantly worried Jake won't be able to withstand the temptation of Felicia much longer. I thank and curse the distance and wait for graduation day.

When you get right down to it, Leah, really needed to get a serious boyfriend. And I really needed a cold shower.

After all, Jake was right, we couldn't have sex until I was sure I wasn't the one scratching his itch for Felicia.

Things truly hadn't changed much, just like Jacob had promised.


	39. Chapter 39 Leech Learns to Use His Cell

**Chapter 39  
The Leech Learns to Use His Cell**

_POV: Jacob_

_It's nearly the summer and Jake's graduation is around the corner..._  


* * *

_  
_

"Holy, Hell! Edward!" I shout angrily into the phone. "You couldn't have told me all this before?"

I'd just sat through nearly an hour of Edward explaining the differences between shifters and werewolves. I'm barely able to digest a long ago Norse legend that might actually be the answer to what Stefan and Felicia are.

"I'm sorry Jake. I... I...." he can't seem to spit out the rest of his sorry ass of an excuse sentence.

_Oh, of course! Of course!_ I slam my forehead with the palm of my hand. He was going to hide the loop hole so he could have Bella all to himself.

_Just great! _I was putting my fate in the hands of a leech still in love with the girl he resents me taking away from him. This was his big chance, the opportunity to swoop in to claim her heart once again. And if he hadn't told me that I HAVE A...

"CHOICE!" I roar into my poor abused phone. "Do you know what you've put me through all these months by not telling me BEFORE I went to see Bella? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?!"

"Yes, I do" came his quiet reply to my growls and curses. "Your thoughts come through loud and clear, Jake."

I don't want to hear the pain in his voice. I know if I were in his shoes I probably would never have called. But damn if I still didn't want to kill him.

"Im sorry it took me so long to come to my senses, Jake," he adds remorsefully. "It's been hell."

"For you and me both, Ed.," I reply. "For you and me both."

"Oh, and Jake, that thing you said about Leah's first encounter with the female... If Felicia had the power to keep Leah from shifting and you still want to end your phasing. You might want to ask Stefan about helping you do it."

"What do you mean, Edward?" I hate the sound of need in my voice. He's offering me a freedom to be my own man, without an Alpha, without the pack. No longer beholden to an imprint I don't want.

"They're twins Jacob. Think about it, they're genetic matches. She might be more powerful, but they share the same strengths."

I make a mental note to go to the area of the forest the elders have given Stefan permission to dig. Tomorrow.

"Thanks, Edward," I say begrudgingly. "I know you didn't have to call. I'm grateful you did. You know, I just might not kill you the next time I see you after all."

"Sure, Jacob," I hear him say with a tinge of amusement in his cool reply, "sure."


	40. Chapter 40 Eighteen

**Chapter 40  
Eighteen**

**_POV: Bella_  
**

Another half a year passes, my relationship with Jacob grows despite the distance.

The more men I meet, the stronger my conviction that I belong with Jacob. The less he visits, the more doubt eats at my psyche. I try to convince myself it's because of school and work and the lack of funds, but inside, I think his dwindling visits has something, maybe everything to do with Felicia. Now that my job at the Children's Center is paid, I use what little extra I have to squirrel away for airfare back home.

By request, I fly back to Washington the weekend of Jake's 18th birthday.

At the moment, Charlie, Sue, Billy, Leah, Seth, and Jake are just finishing our spaghetti with the traditional Black family recipe sauce. I am setting up the birthday cake which has been ensconced in the refrigerator, awaiting presentation.

I gingerly step into the darkened room, holding the cake and it's flickering candles carefully aloft. I belatedly realize that perhaps, I shouldn't be the one doing this particular job. But I get to the table without incident and the song begins.

"Happy Birthday to you!"

"Happy Birthday to you!"

"You smell like a monkey....." Seth's humorous rendition catches everyone off guard,

"And you look like one too!"

"Cha-cha-cha!"

Laughter ensues and Jake captures Seth in a playful headlock.

After the last crumb is picked off the platter and goodbyes have been made, Jake invites me out for a walk. It's dark, but there's a full moon and we already knew the route to First Beach, out to our special spot.

We get to the fallen tree and I take my usual perch. He moves in front of me, clasping my waist, resting his head in my lap.

"Hey, you," I say, threading my fingers though his hair. He's grown it long again and I love watching the silk fall like black water through my open fingers.

"Hey," he says, "You've been pretty quiet tonight, Bells. What's up?"

"I've been watching you," I say. "You still look 25, still older than me. It's nice."

He smiles as he nuzzles my hand. His warm cheek is in my palm.

"You're still worried about Felicia."

I let out a long sigh. "I just don't understand, Jake. Sam couldn't resist his imprint, neither can any of the others. Why you? What makes YOU different? How do I know you won't leave? I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop for nearly two years. It's nerve-wracking."

"These are the same questions you have every time I see you, Bells."

"But you_ imprinted_, that trumps what we have!" I argue. "That makes Felicia your soul mate."

"Sure. Sure. I imprinted on her, if that's what _that_ was," Jake argues, "but Bella, I love _you_! I know you... I know your essence. When are you going to realize that I love you and that alone matters more than any imprint? She might be a soul mate, but who says I'm not standing in line along with a bunch of others who want to be a part of her in the same way I want to be a part of you? That's what E-..." he seems to stop himself mid-sentence and I look at him quizzically. He swallows and continues,

"Bells," his plea forces me to stop my wondering and to instead take in his words, to believe him when he says, "My heart chooses you. I made that choice years ago. I think it might have even been as early as the first time you and I sat here laughing about the very idea of vampires and werewolves existing in the real world."

He stares at me. His gaze sears me, forcing me to remember, to finally touch and examine the love I once held for someone else. Another I once believed to be my perfect mate. It pained me no longer to look at it - this love for someone Jake and I both knew I would have given up my soul for.

We gaze wordlessly out to the sea as I tentatively begin to accept the strength of his will. His stubborn will and boundless love for me that has him defying even the most ancient legend of imprinting that has had lesser men falling to their knees.

"Bella, remember how I told you nothing's changed?

Well, actually, one thing has."

My head turns sharply to meet him eye-to-eye. He holds my questioning gaze without a flinch.


	41. Chapter 41 A Turn To Lead

**Chapter 41  
A Turn to Lead**

_POV: Jake_

_

* * *

_

"I won't be phasing anymore."

I watch her eyes go round in shock, then not too long after, they narrow in disbelief.

"But how, Jake?"

"This last year and a half, I've been staying away, not traveling out to you since imprinting. It's been on purpose."

I watch the downturn of her mouth, her eyes glaze.

_Hurt?_

"Part of it was to keep out of Felicia's way," I hurriedly continue, wanting to erase the expression on her face. "I know it pisses you off when we're near each other," I say, watching the flicker or annoyance in her eyes.

"But mostly it's because I wanted to get control of my werewolf self. I chose to stop and somehow, the stopping, it's easier for me than for the others. I think it's because the Cullens don't live here anymore, and because I'm supposed to be Alpha. I had the power to refuse that, something no one seems to recall any other Alpha doing before. I realized this anomaly around the time I met Felicia and that made me think, hey, I can beat this thing. "

I watch her let the truth of that sink in. I omit the part about Edward's assistance, and the months of pain and suffering I had to undergo under Stefan's hands after asking him to help me bring an end to the werewolf legacy borne within me.

"I'm not a werewolf anymore!" I declare, triumphantly.

Her fingers stop stroking my hair.

"So, you're going to get old and wrinkly right along with me?" she asks breathlessly, awed, as if I'd offered her a gift more precious than any diamond.

I nod, ecstatic that my difficult decision to turn my back on the part of me that made me virtually invincible had been the right one. Being vulnerable meant embracing my mortality, giving me a real life with Bella, a human one. One where she would no longer fear the myth of the imprint. No longer needing to fear me running off with the likes of Felicia. One where she could trust that my love for her would never be snatched away by one single glance.

I see on her face a touch of a sorrow for what she thinks I've sacrificed for her, for us, but it is replaced by a smile of relief beginning to tug at the corners of her mouth.

"Did you find a white hair? Is that why you stopped?" I send up the words to tease to her, smiling as I feel, against the top of my head, a giggle fluttering in her belly. Her fingers begin their stroking again.

She shakes her head and I watch a seductive smile begin to form on her lips.

"You know what, Jake? That's not the only thing about you that changed." The mischievous gleam in her eye, and the sultry tone in her voice sends my pulse racing. "You're also not jailbait anymore."

My eyebrows rise in shock as I feel her hands move down my body, awakening parts of me that I've denied for so very, very long.

"So what are you gonna do about _that_, Bells" I tease, my voice surprisingly calm, masking the nerves that are shaking me from the inside.

Her face fills my vision.

There is ease and laughter in her eyes.

"Shut up, Jake and let me lead this time."

For once, I don't argue.

* * *

_Dear Reader:_

_Want to learn how Jake got rid of his Imprint? see Ch. 35, In the name of love of The Choices We Make, found on my profile page. Scroll down to:_

_**The Things We Do for Love  
POV: Stefan**_


	42. Chapter 42 'Til Death

**Chapter 41  
'Til Death**

_POV: Bella_

_Five years later... on First Beach

* * *

_

My wedding dress rustles lightly in the sea breeze. Beside me, getting lightly slapped with my fingertip veil, is Leah who holds my bouquet made of wildflowers from the nearby forest.

Her eyes are set on the blond man sitting among our families and friends. I avoid looking at the gorgeous woman beside him, but Seth, now standing in the grooms line behind our best man, Sam, can't seem to take his eyes off of Felicia.

I feel Jake's fingers, holding mine. They tighten and tug, drawing my gaze back up to his.

He smiles the smile he knows I love, and speaks the words I long for him to say...

_I, Jacob Black, take you, Isabella Swan, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life._

I feel the gold band slip onto the finger of my left hand already bedecked with a simple solitare. On my wrist jangles the bracelet with its lone wolf charm.

I grasp the matching band in my hand, warmed by my touch, a token of our endless love for one another. I slide it on his ring finger, saying the words I've been longing for him to hear...

_I, Isabella Swan, take you, Jacob Black, to be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life._

I see the boundless love I have for him reflected in his eyes.

_My Jake._

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I new present Mr. & Mrs. Jacob and Isabella Black. You may now kiss the..."

The minister barely finishes his final line when I'm swept up against Jake, my husband, in a kiss that will thrill me to my last dying breath.

I hear the whooping and hollering from the crowd. As Jake and I make our way down the aisle with our entourage following, I notice Felicia elbowing up to the front of her row, catching Seth's attention.

_

* * *

_

_At the reception..._

The tent on the property behind my dad's house beckons our guests and us to enter.

The quiet, twinkling glow coming from the little lights hanging from the ceiling reminds me of the fireflies we'd found waiting for us that first night Jake came up to New Hampshire to visit.

Within the tent, one much larger and more crowded than the little tent in which we shared our first mutual, thrilling kiss, Jake and I sit together at a candlelit table-for-two, taking in the laughter and well-wishes from everyone.

Our closest friends and dearest family exclaim at everything, especially the beautiful wooden centerpiece, vases shaped in the form of a wolf, howling at the moon.

The swathes of material in desert colors surround us, reminding me of Arizona and my mom who's been ecstatic about having a hand in the wedding planning. It's perfect, exactly the kind of small, intimate wedding I've always wanted.

My dad hangs out with Billy and Phil at the bar. They're drinking, backslapping, and joking with one another.

Jake and I finish our delicious meal, our smiles only for each other in every photo asked to be taken of us.

Since he was already so good at it and I was so pathetic, we'd agreed before hand that our first dance would be unrehearsed. I figured no amount of practice in the world would make me any good. I had a sneaking suspicion, though, that he'd had _something_ pre-planned since I'd seen Sam in conversation with the DJ only moments before Jake leads me out to the floor.

I look quizzically up at Jake as the DJ makes her way up to the microphone for a little announcement. But Jake looks just as confused as I do. We listen together.

"One of the couple's guests who was unable to come today wants to dedicate this one to Bella and Jacob, with all his love." the DJ gives a dimpled smile at the crowd. She pauses, then adds, "It's a good one. Maybe some of you might want to join in after the happy couple makes their first sweep of the dance floor."

Jacob fits me against him, unsure yet of the kind of music he was going to be moving to. Before I can ask him which guest was missing from his list, the music starts...

_You're my peace of mind in this crazy world.  
You're everything I've tried to find, your love is a pearl._

I spy a flutter of movement, behind the DJ's stage, a dark haired man leaving our magical tent, stepping outside, into the night.

_You're my Mona Lisa, you're my rainbow skies,  
and my only prayer is that you realize  
you'll always be beautiful in my eyes._

Others have joined us on the dance floor now, since Jake has already skillfully led us around. Twice. One couple that steps on the wood is of particular interest to me.

"I'm Seth..." I hear Leah's brother say to Felicia as we glide past them, in one another's arms.

I hear a deep chuckle comes from Jake. His head shakes as I hear him say half to himself, "Poor, Seth." Apparently, the whole exchange between the two hasn't escaped Jake's notice either. I keep my eyes trained on Felicia, who's green gaze now focuses only on Seth. Their attraction shimmers between them as he leads her gracefully around the dance floor. A familiar feline smile plays on her lips, and this time I feel no rancor. At last, I can be happy for her.

I turn my attention back to my husband and my own satisfied smile forms on my lips. I watch him, watching me. He's starting to hum the melody of the song we're dancing to. I can feel it in his chest.

_The world will turn and the seasons will change,  
and all the lessons we will learn will be beautiful and strange.  
We'll have our fill of tears, our share of sighs..._

"Hey, I know this song," whispers Jake, dipping his head to move his mouth closer to my ear. I close my eyes, feeling him guide us around the dance floor. Jake whirls us around, his movements are graceful and sure. I feel the singer's words wash over me and my mind begins to comprehend their meaning. I open my eyes again, unable to keep from trying to burn every moment into my memory, and find myself home in Jake's arms.

_You will always be beautiful in my eyes.  
And the passing years will show  
that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes._

"It's an old one, but Billy used to sing parts of it to my mom," he continues, his breath a caress against my skin. "I especially like this part. Listen, Bells. And let me lead."

_When there are lines upon my face from a lifetime of smiles,  
and when the time comes to embrace for one long last while,  
we can laugh about it, how time really flies._

I feel a tear gather at the corner of my eye as I gaze up at my new husband. I thank God for giving Jake the arrogance, so long ago, to place upon my resistant lips, just one kiss. I close my eyes, again. Place my cheek against his chest as I listen to the song's words continue to paint a future that would have been lost to us if he hadn't...

_We won't say goodbye 'cause true love never dies.  
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.  
You will always be beautiful in my eyes._

_And the passing years will show  
that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.  
The passing years will show that you will always grow  
ever more beautiful in my eyes._

As the song ends, my eyes move to Jake's lips which I see are mouthing something. He's looking out into the night, through one of the tent's plastic windows, at a profile of someone near the tent.

I strain to hear the quiet words that I know are meant only for the person beyond the canvas walls...

"Thank you, Edward...

for _everything_."

* * *

_Author's note: _

_Song in this chapter: Beautiful in my Eyes, Joshua Kadison.  
The original ending to this story has been posted. Its title is that of the song. Thank you for all of the feedback and happy reading!_


	43. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_POV: Jacob  
A year or two later..._

* * *

"Don't you think we should call him a combination of our fathers' names," Bella asks me, rubbing her rounded belly. We're lying together on the lawn outside. A pillow is underneath my head, while she uses me as her cushion, though I haven't gone completely soft around the middle.

I grimace at her. But I gently cover her hand. We've been through this before.

"_Chabill_ or _Billarlie_ is NOT what I want to call our first kid, or any kid, for that matter," I snort at her. "That's just child abuse."

My loud sound must've penetrated through to the baby because I feel a strong kick beneath both our palms.

"See our boy thinks it's stupid, too!" I chuckle.

"Hey, don't use that word in front of the baby," Bella scolds with a swat to my fingers. We're quiet again.

"So, you still won't reconsider the _other_ name?" she tries again with the whole combo of mine and Edward's name.

"_What?_ No! Why the hell would you want to call him _that? _No!" I say, shaking my head in disgust.

"Well, I don't know why we're always saying he's a boy, anyway," she says with a shrug. "Our baby could turn out to be a girl."

"And she'll be as gorgeous, and as headstrong as her mother. Just so you know, we're not calling her a stupid combo name, either."

I look at her face, this woman, still so beautiful in my eyes.

Suddenly, I hear a sharp cry fall from her lips, and I helplessly watch pain cross her face. I feel dampness seep through the quilt under my hip.

"Bella?" I panic as I watch her double over slightly, softly crying out again.

"Bella?!"

"Jake," she says between the kind of breathing we've been practicing for the last three months. "Jake... I think it's time."

* * *

_Hours later...._

I can't fully recall how I safely got us all to the hospital. I cursed everyone who promised me that I would make a difference as her birthing coach.

I could do nothing! Nothing!

All I _could_ do was watch her do all of the hard work at the birthing.

Stupid neon tennis balls? _Lame. _

Fan and spray mister? _Waste of money. _

Ice chips?_ Well, yeah, the ice chips were OK._

I cursed myself for doing this to her. I sweated though her labor, managed to bite a wound in my lip from the pain she caused me in my hand when she grabbed hold of me through one of her worst contractions.

She screamed a primal scream in my face - at least twice - when I told her it was going to be fine and to just breathe. Then, she told me to f**-off.

_That_ was funny, now that I think about it.

"You do the f-ing breathing, Jake," she seethed at me, sweat dripping from her brow, the nurse practitioner trying to smother a laugh with a cough. "Go ahead, Jake, switch places with me. I'll tell _you_ what to do while you're trying to push a freaking watermelon out of your wee wee. Let's just see you concentrate of f-ing breathing then, strong man. You don't know what this feels like!"

"Bella, don't use that word! Not in front of the baby," I gasped as she threateningly grabbed me by my shirt. I instantly regretted my attempt at a joke because my efforts were greeted with a look that could have maimed me for life... if looks could do that sort of thing.

She scared me when she was like this, but I was also relieved she could still manage to yell at me. I remember sending up a silent prayer of thanks that she wasn't anywhere near as strong as some of the more mystical creatures we've come into contact with.

Anyway, all that was finally over and I wasn't likely to forget Bella that way. She was something fierce, all right!

But neither am I ever going to forget my first look at our baby boy.

His scowl and forceful cry tore at me, bringing tears of joy to my eyes.

This is what imprinting _should _be, I'd thought.

I now watch the doctor place our baby in my wife's arms and she nurses him with such a satisfied and triumphant smile. I can't stop staring at the beauty of mother and child.

_Mine, _I think.

_All mine._

"So, have you thought of a name for the baby," our nurse asks curiously, placing a tiny blue cap on our baby's head.

I look fearfully at Bella, truly worried at what she might come up with.

 She looks at me, with love in her eyes and says,

"We're calling him, Wolfe."


End file.
